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| Blogs > rondiri > My thought's, fun and fiction |
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Beforehand article in comments |
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Some people believe a little mystery in a romance can be beneficial. But in a BDSM dynamic, even a little mystery can be not only problematic, but outright dangerous. Knowing beforehand what the dynamic will consist of and everything about a partner is essential. Problems will arise if the dynamics rules and protocols are a mystery and not clearly spelled out. I prefer to have all rules, protocols, limits and boundaries written out so that they can be referred to if there are any misinterpretations or differences about what is expected or allowed. Some people have fantastic memories, but others don’t. Also time can change perception. Starting a dynamic without concrete guidelines has the submissive guessing what is expected and leaves the Dominant too much leeway to make up rules as they go along, causing confusion. Danger arises when proper vetting is not done and the background and personality of a partner is left a mystery. Too many kinks in the BDSM lifestyle are dangerous if your partner isn’t knowledgeable or experienced. Predators want to be mysterious so that their victims don’t know what is to come. Lack of training and knowledge leads to injuries. Both partners should know of the safety precautions in place in case of an emergency and how to use those precautionary measures. Is there a place for some mystery in BDSM? Sure. While many partners like to script out their scene play, so each knows exactly what is to happen. Other partners leave it to the Dominant to surprise the submissive with what will happen during the scene. Whether the Dominant has it planned or just adlibs and plays the scene by ear. I want to stress though, that leaving the scene totally in the Dominants hands to surprise the submissive should only be done when the submissive has full trust in the Dominant. Full trust in the Dominants abilities, knowledge, skills, respect for limits and boundaries, as well as responsibility for the safety, health and wellbeing of the submissive. If there are any doubts, the submissive should want to know what to expect, for their own safety. Know beforehand what you are getting into, before diving in. It’s safer that way. © 1/22/24 Ronald Dirienzo
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...and that is WHY I always ask WHAT DO YOU WANT when a DOM hits on me...😏
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ron, another good read....thank you for posting all the good stuff you do. The only bad part is now we have to see what all knowing omniscient uncommon1 will want to write in his rebuttal...... Looks like as smart as he and his friends are, msfunfor, uncommon1 could come up with these topics and write on them before you do.....but no....easier to just follow up on yours and write some superfluous bs.....I guess he is of the doctrine ”If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.”   
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