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Fair article in comments |
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Much in life is unfair. Technicalities cause judicial decisions to be unfair. Innocents caught in war zones find it unfair. And unfortunately, what is fair is often open to interpretation, subjective and can differ from one person to another. In a BDSM dynamic, the submissive should be able to expect the Dominant to be fair in the implementation of discipline and punishment, as well as setting tasks and goals. Often times, problems arise when the interpretation of “fair” drastically differs between Dominant and submissive. It is difficult to judge a person’s fairness without seeing how they respond in appropriate circumstances that require a judgement of fairness. A person can say they will be fair in their decisions, but how can you tell from their words what their actions will be? Judging fairness is another reason for careful vetting. It is also a reason not to rush head long into a dynamic, giving consent after only conversation. Actions DO speak louder than words. Trial scene play, a period of consideration before full dynamic consent and collaring can help prospective partners find out how compatible their interpretations of no only fairness, but protocols, intensity and degree of sadomasochism each has. Part of fairness is communicating the whys and hows of the decision to the submissive so that the submissive can not only judge the fairness for themselves, but just as importantly, know how to correct any errors they have made. While there are those Dominants that would like their submissive to keep making error after error so that the Dominant can keep punishing the submissive for the Dominants enjoyment, not giving the submissive a chance to correct what they did wrong goes against the Dominants responsibility to help the submissive learn and grow. A submissive that feels they are unfairly judged and punished, really has no reason to stay in the dynamic if it makes them unhappy. That makes being fair as a Dominant a priority. © 1/27/24 Ronald Dirienzo
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Well maybe the DOMs I've hooked up with should read your articles. I've always been expected to follow the DOMs rules and direction to the letter. But it's also understood that the DOMs can break their own rules anytime they feel like it.😳No such thing as FAIR😏
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I thought this was about a country fair.
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my heart always melts when she says "it's not fair! why do you have to give me another spanking!?"
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