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People are always asking, “How can I learn more about BDSM and the Lifestyle.” At one time, the only way to learn was by being taught by another member of the Community. A Dominant or a submissive acting as a mentor. The problem with this method of word of mouth is that you had very little recourse but to believe what they taught you. If they were error or interpreted things differently than those that taught them, over time things could change from the original intention. Then came books by experienced people who either lived the lifestyle or meticulously researched the Lifestyle, interviewing a multitude of Community members to gain a consensus on what was generally accepted as the correct way to do things. Reading these books became a great way to not only fact check what you were being taught by a mentor, but also to learn the basics if you were unable to find a mentor, which was not always easy. When the internet hit our lives, eventually, BDSM material became available online. The problem became, what material could be trusted and what material couldn’t. To some degree, the material found online can still be suspect. While there are sites that have earned a reputation for accuracy and being updated. There are still plenty of fly by night sites put up by those that haven’t a clue as to what BDSM is about. So, while reading online sites can be just as much help as the published books of before the internet, I have always stated not to rely on only one site for information, but to crosscheck with other sites and look for commonalities to what is acceptable and what is not acceptable. But to me, the best reading to do, is still the published books I will list at the end of the article. Although there have been many more published works since these debuted, generally, the following are considered the cream of the crop of BDSM Lifestyle publications. They have taught many members since they were first published, and are still available to purchase and even stocked in some more liberal public libraries. IMO, a novice should never take the word of anyone teachings right from the start without fact checking and corroborating what they hear. While respected websites can do that. The following books can be relied on 100%. © 2/10/24 Ronald Dirienzo Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns by Phillip Miller and Molly Devon Different Loving by Gloria Brame The Loving Dominant by John Warren SM 101 by Jay Wiseman
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2/10/2024 2:55 pm |
I believe books are the bet resources, but the thing to remember is to multiple resources. Books are always written from the perspective of the author. Don't expect neutrality. Take what resonates with you and leave the rest behind. A Book on BDSM will guide you. It can't teach you to be something you're not. If you want to learn how dominates behave and emulate those behaviors then you're acting. Find out who you are and follow that path. If you're a dominate or a submissive. You already know it, and books will help you fine tune who you are and provide formulas for being your best. Learning whats worked and what hasn't worked for others will keep you from repeating their mistakes. If it doesn't feel right, then it isn't right, but at the same token it might be right for another person. I did all my learning at the public library when I was a teen, so give books a chance.
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Training is useful but nothing beats experianced... 😎
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agree. read and read and talk to other folks and then... start slowly.
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