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Ambiguous see comments |
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In a BDSM dynamic, NOTHING should be ambiguous. When negotiating and before ANY consent is given, all aspects of the dynamic need to be talked out and agreed to without any doubts or, ”we’ll sees”. Protocols and rules should be set up and agreed to and any changes should be discussed and consented to before being instituted. How the partners will act in public or around family, should be discussed and agreed to. Kinks and fetishes that will be included and excluded should be agreed to the same way. Nothing should just be “sprung” on a partner without prior discussion and consent. Disciplines should be discussed and explicitly agreed and consented to. A big thing not to leave ambiguous is how scene play will start at a low intensity and build over time. Waiting to “see how things go” in a scene leaves to much wiggle room in the beginning of a dynamic. Partners need to take their time to learn each other’s abilities, tolerances and boundaries before any improvising or free lancing happens to prevent the scene getting out of hand and injuries happening. Only when intimate trust has been achieved over a great deal of time, should improvising come into play. When ambiguity reigns, either partner can make the wrong decision and cause conflicts. “Maybes”, “we’ll see”, “see how it feels” might sound like a good way to proceed, until someone goes overboard “seeing” how it works without the other knowing it would happen. © 4/25/24 Ronald Dirienzo
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