Blog : Symbols

4 posts
10/9/2022 11:23 pm

Symbols

Funny, but I hate (absolutely hate) looking for symbolism in books or movies. But I love symbols. In my past D/s relationships, I adopted several symbols, and I expect I’ll find more before I’m through.

One, is the “collar”. I like the symbol of the “collar”. It’s a clear and immediate symbol of status. Is this sub taken? Does she submit to that status? In one of my past relationships, I was involved with an extreme newbie. She had never even seen a man’s cock in full light, though at forty and she was a mother in a bad marriage. A leather collar would never have suited her, though she may have longed for it. Instead, I opted for a velvet chocker as the symbol of her submission. She had to be careful of her community status, so the choker was a subtle indication of her status with me, that was opaque to others. She would wear the chocker whenever she was in the “sub-state”. Whether it was with me in the bedroom or facing up to her ex-husband. It gave her purpose, resolve and agency.

She could put it on at any time, or at my request. When she wore it, she would submit to my control and decisions, but she could also wear it when I was not around, in which case it emphasized that she was representing me, and that her actions would be judged by me.

Another important symbol is the “kiss”. It is, however, flexible, its meaning changing with the context.

Certainly, between me and my sub, the Kiss represents love and trust. It is a bond. It is a reminder to each of us of our particular role and our responsibilities. But I also used it as a symbol of acquiescence. Before using any tool or device on my sub, I would present it to her for the Kiss, whether it be cuffs, clamps, flogger or crop, she would Kiss the object if she accepted its use in my hands. It was a consecration of the object, and it was required for each use.

Other symbols that are important to me? Kneeling. Safewords. Nakedness. Snuggling. And many others. And it is not I, alone, that determines a symbol. The sub brings her own intentions, aspirations, and interpretations, and it is important to listen to her what she means by these symbols. And to respect her for those meanings.

I’m sure others have their own symbols and rituals (a word maybe deserving of its own blog post). Will you share?


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