Blog : Being With an Older more mature Dominant

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11/11/2022 2:54 am

Being With an Older more mature Dominant

Many subs first reaction to a more mature dom range from Ugh through, I wonder, to, let’s see what happens. Many don’t expected to would end up in a long term mutually rewarding relationship

In the beginning

I had approached him initially as a potential play partner only. I had not considered really where it might lead since I was involved with someone else and so was he. It was his experience that attracted me and his photographs which showed a few of the scenarios he was able to conduct in his playroom that sparked my imagination.

My need really for varying sensations and a masochist fix was what did it. I feel sort of lowly for admitting it was my physical needs that triggered my interest, rather than my need to obey him or his ability to control me - it makes me feel as though I have times where I am some hungry animal with twisted addictions, but there you are!

I didn't really figure being his submissive or obeying him or anything into the equation at that time, it really was just about play and about us both having some fun with each other and trying to fulfil some sort of missing gap we both had in our lives.

I didn't consider it developing into a relationship either, if I had, I would have worried about the age difference and distance between us and it would have possibly made me dismiss the possibility of taking things any further or contacting him at all. I think I was less bothered about the age difference because it was me that chose to reach out and contact him than I would have been if he had contacted me.

The advantages of having an older Dominant

Experience - it's certainly not true of every older dom, nevertheless, many will have lots more experience than many a younger man. Masters who have been around over 10 years will have their experience to fall back on of what works and what doesn't. They should have a large repertoire of skills, keeping a step ahead of their sub

Maturity - older men generally are more mature. In these days many young men are still possibly living at home with their mum or expecting a sub sort everything for them. Many younger Doms also think yelling and instant cruelty are what they have to do. If you are looking for a man you can look up to and respect you probably need an older, experienced dom.

The disadvantages of having an older Dominant

Lets be open for a moment, age gaps can come with challenges. Being at different stages of life - having an age gap in a relationship means that you can often be at different stages of life i.e. career, family. I have pretty much accepted that we are unlikely to have as he has done that already and we are happy with the life we have together without wanting to bring that into it. But if you are a young woman this is something you need to consider when starting a relationship - what are your hopes and dreams for your future both vanilla as well as the kink - and are his compatible.
Other peoples' opinions- whether it's a kinky relationship or a non-kinky one some people just don't 'get' the idea of being with someone older. There are people who think an age difference of more than 5 years is indecent or it means you are unable to attract a man your own age and that they are somehow grooming you into something twisted. I find trying to change people opinion is a thankless task, so don’t bother.

To conclude

When entering into any relationship it's important to think about where things might go and what direction you want to go. Sometimes though, you just can't help who you end up falling for and being enslaved to. If that happens, you need to weigh up your feelings and work out for yourselves what direction to go in.

Being with a mature master works on many levels for sub missives. They are able to share their experience and wisdom, and provided a supportive relationship. Many women find they would rather have twenty or so special years’ experience than a younger man who may find someone younger leaving their sub alone and after they have invested time and effort in the relationship.

I think the thing I'm trying to say is the hurdles faced on this subject have to be faced. Remember, it's not the opinions of other people that count, as long as your dom makes you happy and you both meet each other’s needs and desires is the only important thing.


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