Blog : Experimenting

1 posts
11/23/2022 8:03 am

Experimenting

As i made my way through the last couple of years of high school i was very confused. Granted i was dating girls, in fact i was dating some very pretty and popular girls, including Homecoming and Prom Queens, but i really didn’t know what i expected from those relationships.
Sure, like most guys that age i wanted some form of sex. And at times i got it. But as i was growing into my teenage body i was realizing that what i really wanted wasn’t the norm that was projected and talked about. i really wanted to be submissive.
After my tease and deny experiences with Barb, i began to do it some to myself. i didn’t realize i was actually edging (there was no Internet back then and no mainstream literature touched on the concepts of submission). But i found that if i didn’t allow myself to cum as often as i would have liked that the orgasm was much more powerful when i eventually did cum. Plus there was that feeling, that aching fullness in my balls that was both unpleasant but at the same time very erotic.
i began experimenting with some other things as well; particularly my ass. At first it was a finger, then two, and eventually i was finding things to put up there. Again, i would hurt, at least at first, but the pain was somehow translated into pleasure. i found that using a hairbrush or a marker and fucking my ass would make me very horny.
Around this same time i discovered the pain and joy of clothes pins. Like just about everyone my first experience was with having one snap and pinch my finger. But up in my room, behind a locked door as i would push things into my ass and not let myself cum, i began attaching them to different parts of my body. i quickly decided that my favorite places were my cock, my balls and my nipples. i would put them on and try to see how long i could keep them on. And of course, i learned that putting them on and wearing them for a while was nothing compared to the feeling of pain that came when they were removed.
i didn’t like the pain. The pain wasn’t “getting me off” in any way. But i was experimenting. As i was experimenting i was fantasizing. Always in my fantasies i was submissive to a woman, usually a girl from school or the neighborhood though sometimes it would just be someone i made up in my head. In the fantasies i always had to be punished for some reason. It really didn’t matter what i had done but i would find myself with the clothespins on my nipples, something up my ass and not letting myself cum as i played with myself.
From early on i was fantasizing about pee. i’m not sure exactly when it started but i do remember as far back as grammar school thinking about it. And so eventually i began experimenting with my own pee. First was just peeing on my hands and feet and even my chest while i was in the shower. Eventually i found myself laying down in the tub, putting my hips up over my body and peeing onto my face and even into my mouth.
All of this experimentation really wasn’t getting me what i really wanted, what i really needed but it was, in a way, preparing me for what i would become. i was learning to accept the things that a Dominant Woman would someday do to me. And i was actually liking it.


	Become a member to comment on this blog