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Blogs > primalseeker > My Blog

primalseeker 36F
83 posts
5/28/2023 7:56 am
Mixed feelings

Sometimes I can be my own worst enemy or critic. Constantly debating, questioning and berating myself emotionally and mentally. In so many ways, it highlights why I need a decisive and dominant person in my life or at least a therapist.
Earlier this week I ran into an old bf, while out shopping. This man wasn’t really my bf in a sense, as when I was seeing him, he was married. And still is. At the time we were seeing each other for nearly a year. We haven’t seen each other since the Pandemic started. We had spoke on the phone a few times afterwards, but haven’t in the last two years. When we were seeing each other, it was very much a sexual relationship. He never thought of himself as a Dom, but I in my own weird sense of justifying the relationship looked on him as such. Over the last few years, I came to think of him as a manipulative narcissist. And I don’t regret the time I was involved with him or the numerous times I felt humiliated and degraded.
Running into him this week, all those mixed feeling came back. We ended up sitting down for coffee and caught up with each other. I found, he had changed and felt in many ways he hadn’t. As we were talking, feelings of our time together flooded my thoughts and I can’t say he helped to forget those feelings. Especially when he shared how the pandemic brought he and his wife closer together and accepting more of his kinkier needs. When his wife called, he told her we had bumped into each other and he was on his way home.
Saying good bye and walking out, left me with mixed feelings which still linger. Not of him so much as what I experienced with him.

Arkangel_Fire 57M
1089 posts
6/5/2023 8:10 am

 Let's say that the therapist could support and guide you with your insecurities and questions, but that humidity that your body generates when you feel in control of a man, only surrendering your will and giving yourself can alleviate...


NoNonsense_Dom 70M  
1538 posts
6/17/2023 7:50 pm

 Well Primal there are many more experiences to be had in this life.



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