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Taking Offense Today I was speaking with someone, who got upset, and it escalated. He seemed to take offense at everything I said, as if asking a question meant I was looking for reasons to not pursue something. Why do people assume that someone means something other than what the words they use mean? This is a topic I mull over lots. I try to understand why so many people tend to take offense so easily today if someone thinks differently or acts differently than them. Why do differences make so many people insecure? Is it cause they think if someone doesn't agree with them or think like them, that it means something bad about them? I believe that most take offense today way to easily, and since I am a submissive, most of whom I speak with for dating are Dominants. So can only go by my experience. If an s-type asks questions, yes while some might be doing it to find a reason not to go forward, most of us do it to clarify, to understand, and then to be able to more succinctly obey what is being asked. It isn't to offend or upset. For submissives the same goes to you too, just cause someone asks a question, doesn't mean they think something ill of you. It seems that in society today, many are taking offense at stupid things. Is our society so insecure they can't handle if someone is different? I like differences, and personally think more people should embrace them. Just cause someone thinks differently, or acts differently, or even looks differently than you think they should, that isn't on them it is on you. If you assume things, simply based on your own experience, then you are putting on others motives and holding them accountable for things others have done. I think before a person takes offense with something someone says, does, or asks, they should first ask themselves where the offense really is. I can't name the number of times in my life, that when I got upset and asked myself that question, where is this coming from, that 9 out of 10 times, me taking offense at something was due to my own thoughts, experience, and emotions not what someone in front of me was doing or saying. I believe that we all take offense more when we feel we are being challenged. I think it is more about that we are insecure and see someone being different as challenging our right to think or be as we are. In reality, taking offense at something, no matter the side of the slash you identify as, is more about how the individual feels than about what the person they are speaking to is doing or saying. Just some thoughts on taking offense. |
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I understand your point. Sadly "I'm offended" seems to have become a standard response to almost any situation these days People have forgotten that when you point your finger at someone, you have 3 pointing back at yourself
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Totally agree - its almost the same as someone saying something isn't normal! What really is normal .... for some it's normal to take offence even though to me they are not normal and nor is their opinion. It a lovely diverse world and if someone takes offence that's fine as I can respect that and them long as they can respect me. That's the harder bit and it always seems to be their problem.....
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i do think our society has trouble with communication and both social media and news outlets have pushed polarity at the expense of working things out. This can be somewhat overcome when conversations are calm and rational and live..... but often accentuated if the conversation is remote via typing.rather than face to face. i do fear for where all this is heading.......
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1 post 1/31/2023 10:04 am |
Too many people today believe there is such a thing as a right not to be offended. Western Civilization since the Enlightenment is based on the sacred right to offend others, which we call free speech. If someone is offended, their remedy is to respond with speech of their own.
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Communication is a complex interplay between minds. However, there are a few truths. The major one is if you don't get the reaction you want from the other mind, then that is your fault and you need to change what your saying in order to get the reaction you want. It is sheer arrogance to assume that the person will understand what you mean with your words. BTW, if I offended you, good. That is what I meant to do. It is clear that you have no idea what Communication is and the arrogance to be offended by the offense. This isn't a societal issue, left vs right, culture wars, .... It is called how to convey what's in your mind to someone else's mind with words. There is a lot going on and many places that complex process can break down. In order to be a good communicator, you must understand these processes and be adept enough to modify them. Speech has no punctuation. Eats shoots and leaves. What did I just say? Are you offended because apparently I advocate dine and dash with weapons when I really meant a panda bear? Who's fault is the miscommunication? Yours? That is what you are saying. That would be arrogance on my part: you're so stupid that you can't see what I'm saying. I really don't think that is what you are meaning to say in you blog post, but it is. I find it sad that you are sad over your mistake, blame the other person, and then blame our society. Like one comment said, I'll paraphrase for emphasis, 1 finger is point at who you blame, but three are pointing back at you. Oh so true for your post.
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My response...You're Offended? Be offended and be damned...
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1/31/2023 11:40 am |
UNFORTUNATELY, written text ALL to often IS MISCONSTRUED for a variety of reasons, and can lead to an argument in a flash. I MUCH prefer to discuss problematic situations or topics in person, or even over the phone, to typed/written text to avoid the pitfalls... 1242804
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Some are just looking for a reason. Some can't take yes for an answer, depending who is replying. Probably off their meds.
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I’m completely offended & outraged by this post! lol people hide behind masks put up false fronts & they don’t like to be challenged questioned or put on the spot made vulnerable!
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Its even worse via email because you cant read the person's intent
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