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Challenging Wannabe Dominants in the BDSM World This post is only viewable by Local Fetish Fans members. Join Local Fetish Fans now! |
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So true, The dance between a Dominant and their submissive is a beautiful thing. The honesty and trust is unsurpassed.
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1 post 9/7/2023 10:14 am |
Well said, we should talk. JL
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It also makes a hell of a difference, if the wannebee dom, really, really knows himself., first controle, himself first. Most have no idea....
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agreed good post be careful who you submit yourself too make sure to first vet them always be SSC...DOMinate is also a gift!
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A very fine blog post, GP. The points made were lucid. unequivocal;, unambiguous, and eloquently crafted. It should be required reading for all dom & domme wannabes. Well done!  
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9/7/2023 7:04 pm |
education isn't a solution to those that pretend to be dominant. They have no interest in reading and self improvement. Dominance and submission isn't a matter of being educated. Those characteristics are a mater of genetics. Those people are here for just one purpose. They equate submissive with easy pussy. They just wan't to try to look dominate so they can score some sex. As a dominant this isn't all that I am, however with whatever activities I perform. I always present myself from a position of strength. These wannabes are playing a part as an actor. Someone can learn to mimic the manors and behavior of a dominant, but I will always be a role they are playing. It won't be who they really are. Someone playing a role can't stay in character forever, however I yam what I yam and I make no apology for that. Fuck those people.
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Are you referring to wannabe Doms seeking a 24/7 dynamic? If so, I'd say you have covered that concisely and clearly in this informative post. However, I wanted to point out that not everyone is interested in 24/7. Some couples just enjoy exploring the mutual kinks of the BDSM world through roleplay. It can provide a structure that can add fun and anticipation to an FWB or a mostly vanilla-with-spice type of scene. Is this being a wannabe? If done well it still requires a consensual exchange of power, built upon trust, communication, and boundaries. As well as the same responsibility, empathy, and a profound respect for the submissive's limits and desires as you have fully noted.
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Yay, a sub who fully understands that she has the power, and knows the need for growth, both as an individual and as part of a couple in a dynamic. As a dominant, I KNOW that the sub's well-being and safety is paramount and totally MY responsibility, and as a dominant, I know that the dynamic is not just about my kinks and desires, it is about THEIRS as well, even over-riding mine when the need determines. Pet, when I look around the scene I see Rogues and Sharks who are only out to fuck or abuse anyone who gives them the opportunity, and this is usually done at the sub's expense and to their detriment by overriding limits, or assaulting their self-esteem. This is not how things are suppose to be. Further to the sharks/rogues category, I see the Pretender category who think that if they call themselves dominant, that they can get plenty of kinky sex, and they do, but at WHO's expense? When the subs from both of these categories end up getting cast aside, and they do, they have no idea why and they are confused, their self esteem and worth are damaged. A lot walk away from the lifestyle unfulfilled, not knowing that this should not be happening. Then finally, you have the true dominant category who only shake their heads in amazement that this happens. These same dominants end up getting a bad name because of the deeds of the previously mentioned. YOU are dead right, for anyone who thinks that they are dominant, and even those that know they are dominant, grow, research and practice because in this lifestyle, you can't rest on your laurels, and remember, to get and give the best to your sub, learn about them, get inside their heads so you can fully understand how they think, what drives them and what they require for contentment and fulfillment. A really big part of this is Honest Open communication, and discuss the things that they might not understand, or the things that may have an effect on their limits.
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One darn good post. "One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"
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xXx
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1 post 11/29/2023 10:21 am |
Such a well written post, and touches on so many fine points. I don't think that any of us are ever done learning about ourselves and growing. Life is a journey, but it must be done safely, I continue to hear horror stories of the abuse that some people experience in the name of BDSM, that definitely falls outside of SSC.
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… a good signpost for the well-intentioned- those born to a left-of-the-slash orientation, benign nature and low on the narcissism scale. As one above noted, though, something worth adding for posterity here (though I’m inclined to suspect this is very clear to you given the clarity of your writing) is that there are those drawn to this sphere who exhibit the (sometimes initially subtle, sometimes not) superficial signs of incompetence but whose behaviors are rooted in something far less addressable and more nefarious. Although perfect execution may be for fanciful deities, behavior that’s perfectly consistent with perfect intent is an appropriate bar and requires an eye that’s unwavering even (perhaps particularly) with a bowed head. When a reality and ideals of intent can’t be reconciled in the smallest of details, there’s no amount of teaching that will serve; it’s time to run- not walk- for the door. As I see it, the opening of eyes is probably one of the most important functions of submissive roundtables. Thank you for sharing.
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1 post 12/18/2023 8:51 am |
Very well said. Nothing like an intelligent submissive.
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It's rare to find a submissive who actually understands what the dynamic truly means. The Dom's responsibility is to know & understand what sub is needs both in but more importantly out of the bedroom.
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I believe the goal in the exchange, is fulfilling each others desires. The subs actually come first it is a powerful thing to be allowed to do this. Like life, an ongoing learning experience to be enjoyed
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How are things in your world?
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It says you have flirted with me, and I am honored We can talk here in the blogs, if you want to talk
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said you did again
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