Blog : Having an Equal Partner in an Unequal Power Exchange Dynamic

1 posts
12/22/2023 7:08 am

Having an Equal Partner in an Unequal Power Exchange Dynamic

((NOT MINE... Written by a sub, NOT ME, yet a great outlook on the dynamic))

The whole point of<b> power exchange </font></b>is giving up power and accepting power. The power, in a sense, becomes unequal between the consenting parties.

I've had this discussion before about D/s dynamics and how they aren't meant to be equal. But I always felt like mine was both equal and unequal. I still feel that way.

I've given someone else power over me in all aspects of my life. I didn't have to. I could have negotiated otherwise. But even with a total power exchange, my partner is still my equal.

Let me explain.

My partner is not abusing his power and moving all the labor of our lives onto me.

Yes, he can order me to do laundry or cook dinner. But he also does laundry and cooks dinner. We both take responsibility for maintaining our home.

Yes, he can establish rules that require me to ask permission before spending money. But he also checks in with me before making big purchases.

Yes, he can punish me for breaking rules or putting myself in danger. But he also owns up to his mistakes and we talk about it. Sometimes, he even gives me a get-out-of-jail free pass for his own absolution.

Because even though he holds my power, he isn't perfect. Neither of us are perfect.

There are so many examples I can think of where I feel unequal. But those examples are all situations where I want it to feel unequal. I want to feel like I'm not in control.

So, I have an equal partner in an unequal dynamic. And I wouldn't have it any other way.


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