Blog : What being a Caretaker means to me; D/s with a chronically ill partner

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1/2/2024 10:07 am

What being a Caretaker means to me; D/s with a chronically ill partner

Even in a standard relationship, people rarely understand why some folk stay together. When one of the pairing is chronically ill, even more so. The pair are often viewed with expectations and pity.

On Bad Days (tm) my sub decries why I don't put more effort into finding a new partner, lamenting the loss of certain parts of our relationship; playtimes only lead to permanent injuries or long recuperation and health complications. And every time, I remind her the same thing.

With a tender smile and a gentle kiss to the forehead as she lays in bed half conscious from pain and medication, I hold her close and remind her how much I care about her and what she means to me.

We will never play like we once did, if at all. We knew this day would come when she warned me in tears of her various diagnosis. Instead of quietly ending our relationship, I moved in and now spend every day caring for her as best I can. Every day a new challenge, finding how to encourage and support her. Every day explaining why, even to people in the rare instances I take her out in her wheelchair. Maybe some will call me short sighted, some may laugh at the hopeless romantic in an age when romance is thought dead, but maybe some will find familiarity in my words, and why I prefer only those who choose to submit. Here, once and officially:

I fall in love not only with who a person is, but who they can be. As a Caretaker, I want my<b> mate </font></b>to know how wonderful they are in my eyes and help them blossom into the rare vibrant creature I see trapped behind their worries, anxieties and trauma through our structure and play. It's not always permanent; the other side of the coin is that loving their growing strength means letting them learn to fly, and one by one as my girls have grown their wings. They've gone on to find their happiness in the world. I will not lie and say I do not miss them, but the pain is bittersweet, seeing the smile in their eyes as our paths diverge.

My current partner is no simple bird, no beautiful orchid, desired and pursued. She is a wonderous tree that struggles each day, and it is my responsibility to care for her, even once my garden is empty. We both know that some day the tree will topple, whether eaten away from the inside or, simply breaking down under the strain of the world. I intend to be there to the end, so that at the end, at least one person remembers the tree and the sound it made when it crashes down.

Compassion unending. Love so great it injures you and you thank it with wet eyes and a smile. The loving guiding hand of a parent, a gardener, a Caretaker, that only wants your happiness and to see you succeed. And along the way, the sight of your efforts regardless of success is what makes me fall for you again, every day, my sweet thraella.


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