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Becoming a Slave I went to the SPICE Book Club tonight and was surprised at how many of us actually read the book! We usually have a lively discussion, but not about the book, but about our lives and our community. I didn't have too much to contribute to the conversation at first. I worked very hard today, but that's not why I was so quiet. Last night China Dom gave me a wonderful scene. It had been 6 months since we had last played and the long overdue experience released some endorphins and I was calm all day, though my butt was quite sore. I didn't ask MasterRoper for permission to play because we don't have any agreement or contract. But if I could have reached him by phone, I would have asked him for permission out of respect. So I left him an email that I would like his permission to attend BASH next month (since he wasn't really interested in going). During the Book Club meeting MasterRoper called and I was surprised. I thought perhaps he had read my email, but he said he didn't. We talked for a few moments about how much we missed each other. He knew I was at the Book Club and out of the blue he said "Get on your knees, slave". I looked around the room and saw many of my friends sitting at the long table. I looked at the open door between this private room and the main restaurant. I broke out into a sweat. "I'm sorry MasterRoper, I can't!" I exclaimed. "You can't or you won't?" he replied. "I...I..." I stammered. "You are refusing a direct order! Do you know what happens to slaves who refuse their Master?" his voice raised a bit. "No Sir. I'm sorry Sir!" I was ready to cry. "That's right slut--you will be sorry" and he ended the conversation. I sat back at the table, but my mind was elsewhere. I know I let Him down. I let myself down. But we never discussed that our relationship would be taking this turn. Well we had written about it, but does that take the place of clear direction? After the meeting, I call MasterRoper back. He was drinking a beer with a friend (something he rarely does). He was distracted by his restaurant environment, but he was very happy to be sharing his mountains with his friend. I felt outside. He reminded me of my misbehavior and again I apologized. But I wondered why he chose that particular moment to test my loyalty. I know we have to talk this one out. Hopefully sooner than later. And speaking of talking, I went to the Blogger's Chatroom Blogoholics Chatorama tonight and had a quick chat with orion_blue. We had never met before. Then voodoo_man1 came into the room and I said hello. But he never responded and left the room quickly. Was it something I didn't say? Anyway, I hope to meet other blogger/chatters to be!  |
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...gosh I'd tell you what I think -- but that would ruin this delicious suspense! ...iffen you wanna know, call me and jog my memory with the letters f and m. SweEt dreams S.
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