Blog : Oooooh, you're such a litle freak!

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5551 posts
6/8/2015 7:19 pm

Oooooh, you're such a litle freak!

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Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~

lastguymn 56M

6/8/2015 7:24 pm

That's a dead-even tie for me...I want to be in control of EVERYTHING and I'm afraid of losing control of myself. I must be the biggest freak of all!

Although the freakiest thing I've seen today is a new post by...YOU! Lightning strikes the same place more often these days.

~LastGuy

"It's great to be here. It's great to be anywhere." -- Keith Richards

"There are many spokes on the wheel of life. First, we're here to explore new possibilities." -- Ray Charles

tahimikbayani 53M

8008 posts
6/8/2015 7:52 pm

As long as the bartender keeps em coming, I'm in control

jenny14 75T

90475 posts
6/8/2015 11:12 pm

cuzi

I too prefer to be in control but, then I am a domme

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw

Jenny

lastguymn 56M

6/9/2015 12:20 am

I was in exactly the same situation as far as delegation goes...and it led to complete and utter burn-out. I've learned since that I can delegate as long as I delegate every part of a particular task, but even then I get temped to meddle, especially if things aren't going well.

~LastGuy

"It's great to be here. It's great to be anywhere." -- Keith Richards

"There are many spokes on the wheel of life. First, we're here to explore new possibilities." -- Ray Charles

cuzisaid replies on 6/10/2015 4:27 pm:
:> Soooooooo lemme get this straight. You'll pretend to let someone else handle it but only because you're going for the gold medal in meddling?

kittykitty1260 63F

15748 posts
6/9/2015 2:05 am

When I lose control of things, it is usually when I'm not looking and whammo I am out of control, like a rudderless ship, chasing my tail sort of thing..not a good look for me, so I keep on top of my control of things and then try to control everything... does that make me a control freak?
Or just basically unorganized?

“Who says life is fair, where is that written?”
― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

InderioMinx 54F

19868 posts
6/9/2015 4:16 pm

Hmmm, maybe I am not such a freak

I don't want to control everything...

A lot of things, well, yeah

As for the losing of control... If we would have had this discussion a few years ago, I'd have said yes. Yes, it was a concern, though I don't know if it went to fear level. But now... not really. It takes a long time to get me to the point that I would even be close. I'm working on learning my own personal art of Zen. Finally

Ars longa, vita brevis - Art is long, life is short

cuzisaid 53F

14988 posts
6/10/2015 12:14 pm

lastguymn

and

Funny Dibsy, rrreeeaaalll funny!!!

I think the role of BENJAMIN FRANKLIN: Lightning Whisperer has already been filled, but thank you for giving it your best.

Its an odd question isnt it? Regardless of which freakout is ones fear point, we almost always try to control it by doing the other option listed. Its a weirdism for sure and I oh so agree that we ALL possess parts of both.

Its which is a weakness though that I have the biggest interest in.

For what its worth, from the outside looking in.........

I would absolutely say #1 is the bigger need for you.

The Sagittarius that is you is way too busy looking forward to and embracing 'what comes next', (sooner rather than later) to ever fear losing control of yourself over losing the control of what you might be missing.

Thank you for chiming in my good friend.

cuzisaid 53F

14988 posts
6/10/2015 12:18 pm

I think thats how most of us feel, for sure.

How nice to see you reply. I love any blog that says like I do......."how the hell am I supposed to DO when no one will let me TRY".

Back to this post

Which one would make you freak out though if you didnt have it?

Being out of control of things around you?

Being out of control yourself?

cuzisaid 53F

14988 posts
6/10/2015 12:31 pm

TheOthrWhiteMeat

Lolol so they are and they'll be damned if they dont step up and get control of it!

SO when you aren't sidestepping, your answer is...?

cuzisaid 53F

14988 posts
6/10/2015 12:35 pm

ralph696969

I dont have a big brother only a liddle brudder and he didnt control shit.

Now that hes grown however......*shrugs*

Ya know B, Im starting to think that the men around here embrace avoidance instead of control.

Fuckin freaks!

SO fess it up, what is or was your bigger freak out factor?

Being out of control of things around you?

Being out of control of yourself?

cuzisaid 53F

14988 posts
6/10/2015 12:41 pm

tahimikbayani

Only if you're the bartender, Zip is that entirely true.

You're off the hook on this one though I have a clue you already know that. I know your answer as surely as I breath and as well as I know MsSophs, MsMinxs' and my own

cuzisaid 53F

14988 posts
6/10/2015 12:51 pm

LOL

No my darling troublemaking, fancy knickerd buttdialer. I think(like the majority of the dudes around here) that you deliberately misunderstood(pretend!!!) the question so you could avoid answering it.

I have absolutely no problem embracing my lack of self control when it comes to fun or fucking, its my freak the fuck out factor when Im out of control of myself in other ways that I have(well HAD) issues.

xoxo

cuzisaid 53F

14988 posts
6/10/2015 1:06 pm

Lolol

You and LG should start a variety act!

YOU and I have a relationship off blogs, lol so you know good n well I am alive, well and fucking grumpy!

*nods* I would absolutely say the same thing about you, my sweet tb. #1 all the way, a need to have control of the things around you or you can freak out.

Not that you want to be a boss of people or in charge of everyone and everything but because you need to know that those things that affect you are under control as deeply and reflectively as you know and control yourself. Your expereince has shown that you control you better than others control themselves so.........it makes sense to me.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for stepping up like a true LADY and answering the question.

aHedonist 52M

7512 posts
6/10/2015 1:25 pm

If I was to loose self control assholes around me would all start to die, and ladies would require cast iron underwear. Including you.

cuzisaid 53F

14988 posts
6/10/2015 1:27 pm

jenny14

Thank you for chiming in Jennyhoney!

Ya know, as I was thinking about writing this post months ago and as I thought about all the people I read or who read my blogs, you were the only one I was unable to get a knee jerk feeling for which way you;d go OR which way I think you are.

Its an easier questions to answer as a lifestyle question than it is a human being question.

I know Doms that are absolutely # 2(fear of losing control of self) than # 1 and subs that are the opposite. and of course viceverse.*shrugs*

Its..........an interesting thing to me how we use control from the inside out and teh outside in when we are the only deciding factor.

cuzisaid 53F

14988 posts
6/10/2015 2:18 pm

I always agree with lastguy. He shoots lightning bolts at me when I dont!

Ok, Im gonna ask.........Sag, Aquarian, Gemini, or libra

You dont have to answer that.

It really does seem to be true that people ARE one or the other kinds of control freak, inside. Its their inner truth that drives how they do things whether they know it or not.
From what Ive seen, there aren't other variations though the strength of the freak factor varies for sure by age and experience.

Thank so much for chiming in, TooFab! I appreciate you answering very much.

cuzisaid 53F

14988 posts
6/10/2015 2:30 pm

Xrorted

Huh, maybe the chooks ate your pens cuz that was sure one cockamamie answer.

I happen to know that you have not only pens you have rather nice fountain pens that highlight your gorgeous handwriting as well, soooooo suck up your wildchild quinky dinks and answer the question please.

I have my own idea of what I would say about you and what I think you would say about you( they are the same), though I am not convinced it is what you'd say or feel to be so.

Go find a lovely grass mat in a little inlet near a quiet airy fishing hole and contemplate on it for a spell. Then please, please please come tell me.

cuzisaid 53F

14988 posts
6/10/2015 2:54 pm

kittykitty1260

Oh I totally agree with you being a 'I can freak out when I dont have a hand in things, so you betcha ass Im gonna tell ya what to do' kinda girl!

Ya know what I find so funny is that the differences are super subtle but you can tell, if you look, who leans which way and that is odd because it is such an internal varied place that it comes from that is almost impossible to ever know why. It just shows in little ways and its cool as hell to watch.

No way are you disorganized, you are just non rote. Even your impromptu moments have a backup plan cuz you is awesome like that!

cuzisaid 53F

14988 posts
6/10/2015 3:14 pm

I see it the exact same way all the way around, my dear friend!

I think there is a lot to be said for the things we learn as we age and gain experience. The biggest being that all those things we tries to control way back when that were outside of ourselves was just us faking life.

My freak point was always keep myself under control first and foremost for a variety of reasons but as Ive lived n learned and been bent the hell over by the universe over and over when I make bad or thoughtless choices, it aint ever been all about me.

And I am oh so good with that

cuzisaid 53F

14988 posts
6/10/2015 3:21 pm

LOL Well you are a woman so.....naturally you are more complicated!

I think you have male blogger sidestep poisoning! Quick take a glass of white wine and a piece of chocolate then come back in the morning!

Hmmmmm I have trouble with you too on my freak-o-meter. You really do personify both in almost equal measure, but with a hairsbreadth difference, Im going with #1 for you. You trust you and love being open its everyone else you dont trust to make it easy for you to be you.

Thank you so much for chiming in, my lovely one!.

cuzisaid 53F

14988 posts
6/10/2015 3:53 pm

InderioMinx

Oh yes! Thank you for piping up, woman!
I picked the same for you in my head.

I know only a small portion of what you have on your plate and have seen it in action and you are the personification of calm cool and collected control. Not cold, not distant but quietly aware and it radiates from inside you out to others. You first and then them.

It definitely has to be a benefit of maturing in years that we dont freak out about it or focus on it like we used to. Or maybe some of us are just really lucky to live and learn that we dont have to, but we can and do still want to and that takes the pressure off.

Like I said to Kitty, its funny when you know and see exactly how much a person does and has control of(be it self or others) and yet you know inside that they do those things with out even half the stress as they put on themselves to balance that internal freakout need.

I too am way way better about the firm grip I always kept on me. That standard of YOU WILL is still there but I rarely freak out about it when I dont go as planned.

cuzisaid 53F

14988 posts
6/10/2015 4:00 pm

Ive been kicking this around in my head for months now, Doc and while I know my answer, both now and what was( in stronger form up to freak outness) it still exists and kicks around my head.

Not the why of it, thats almost too easy to answer, but the "for how long until I break out of it and let it go" If ever. Its eased A LOT, but will it ever go away, that need to reign myself in and and keep a tight control or standard of how I should be?

I have to say, probably not.

But today and so far this year, at least Im not freaking out

cuzisaid 53F

14988 posts
6/10/2015 4:13 pm

aHedonist

Ooooooooooooooo the sexy Aussie manbeast has been sighted in cuziland! And he speaks!

You, Mr Exemplary were a given. You stand up more than anyone else I know and call ass on yourself out loud and you take the world with you.

It takes one hell of a self aware and self controlled person to do that. Not an out of control one, not an obsessively controlled one( with time and grace or God) but a responsible and flexible one.

All of my favorite people here seem to have gotten their freak out factor to a point of peace and balance. I seem to have amazingly lucky taste in friends, even when Im a little freaked out!

Sooooooooo nice to see you on site for a bit. xoxo

cuzisaid 53F

14988 posts
6/15/2015 1:26 pm

Avoidance is an earmark for option #2, control of self.

I dont think most folks think about it since its a part of their personality. They just do whatever it is that keeps or puts them where they want to be.

Other ways to test your bigger internal freak out factor.....

How much effort do you put in to being right?
and
When something goes wrong that you have a part in....whose ass to you kick & disect first? Your own or someone elses?

Thanks for throwing in your 2 cents, hon!

cuzisaid 53F

14988 posts
6/15/2015 1:34 pm

Insomniacgirl

Dont be cutsie, Toots!

You are right of course, control can be many things including nothing. In this case, I refer only to that internal need to control our own world that we feel strongly enough to act on, be it conscious or not.

For what its worth(yeah that proverbial mountain of beans), I'd put you as a 'self' control freak because you are far harder on yourself and the person you expect you to be than you are toward anyone else.

Glad to have ya in the club

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