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Blogs > cuzisaid > Swine & Pearls exist even here

cuzisaid 53F  
5548 posts
11/9/2019 10:48 pm
A verse on VS

See post in comment section

“The people you should get even with are those have helped you.”
― John Southard
Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~
cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
11/9/2019 10:51 pm

 Are you a grudge holder, holding any or every slight against those who you feel did you wrong or can you forgive most things or should I say PEOPLE that wound you?

In my younger days, I was both. I didn't hold many grudges, but there were some and those ones I held were full body armor.
It took growing up and making numerous mistakes that affected and hurt others before I could look past the action of others to the intentions and change my way of reacting. Of looking. Of being.

Yes, it matters the situation and reason, but looking back not only at myself but most of the people I know well enough to say, most of the grudges held are/were for VERY small and mostly insignificant things that were blown way out of proportion. That is understandable in the moment or when the hurt is still fresh, but as time passes shouldn't slights?

I think the only reason I went from a grudge holder to a forgiver is because I have been forgiven so often by those who care about me. I can't think of any one at any time that has turned me away refusing to forgive me, whether or not I asked for forgiveness when I should have.

I am grateful.............
..........to be forgiven and to know and understand that forgiveness is one of the truest expressions of love Ive received in this world.
Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


Gowron 69M
3112 posts
11/10/2019 1:22 am

 I hold grudges, but I don't want enemies around me, so I don't let the targets know.
They don't suspect how much I despise them.


drmgirl622 68F  
26110 posts
11/10/2019 6:57 am

 I did hold one when I was younger. That grudge took hold and became part of me so that sometimes I almost felt like I was suffocating. I finally realized I had lost so much happiness while being buried under the heap of dung. To this day that grudge is still there but in a much more manageable form.


prpackaged 80M  
740 posts
11/10/2019 7:51 am

 Yes, if they wronged me and do not apologize then I do remember and will not go out of my way to interact with them. That does not mean that I hold the grudge, it means that I do not need to interact withe the SOBs. It is easy to misinterpret what actions you experience. Enjoy the good that comes your way and avoid the bad.
The blackest lie is a partial truth that leads you to the wrong conclusion.


JohnnyLightning 65M  
9672 posts
11/10/2019 11:31 am

 I'm cautious about grudges because that could lead to a resentment. Resentments are the number one cause of relapse. Resentments are like drinking the poison and hoping the other person dies.
Howling at the moon and mal ad osteo.


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
11/10/2019 9:51 pm
    Quoting Gowron:
    I hold grudges, but I don't want enemies around me, so I don't let the targets know.
    They don't suspect how much I despise them.
I cant disagree that having someone toxic around you is a big NO for me as well, but I can also say honestly that most of my way back grudges were small and petty reasons against people that weren't really a threat to me or my space.
Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
11/10/2019 9:53 pm
    Quoting drmgirl622:
    I did hold one when I was younger. That grudge took hold and became part of me so that sometimes I almost felt like I was suffocating. I finally realized I had lost so much happiness while being buried under the heap of dung. To this day that grudge is still there but in a much more manageable form.
You are a wise woman, Dream. I came to that same conclusion that the grudges I held were ME holding onto something that I should have let go of cuz they were holding me back. Im lucky that most were small slights but the big one or two were huge and it took time for me to move on.
Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
11/10/2019 9:55 pm
    Quoting  :
For sure. Forgetting isnt forgiving and forgiving isnt the same as not holding a grudge. It really is a situational thing. The little things, I let go of now and I remember but dont expect the same slights. To me thats not holding the grudge.
Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
11/10/2019 9:58 pm
    Quoting prpackaged:
    Yes, if they wronged me and do not apologize then I do remember and will not go out of my way to interact with them. That does not mean that I hold the grudge, it means that I do not need to interact withe the SOBs. It is easy to misinterpret what actions you experience. Enjoy the good that comes your way and avoid the bad.
I think that is where asking or trying to find out the intent is crucial. If something is deliberately done to wrong me, it makes it hard to even want to acknowledge anything else. Things done thoughtlessly in passing....that i can work around. I am guilty of the latter myself more than I care to think about.
Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
11/10/2019 10:01 pm
    Quoting JohnnyLightning:
    I'm cautious about grudges because that could lead to a resentment. Resentments are the number one cause of relapse. Resentments are like drinking the poison and hoping the other person dies.
Exactly! Hanging on to negative feelings past their expiration date weighs you down sa they spoil and rot. Its hard to get past big slights but keeping small or inconsequential slights fresh in your mind or heart is a poison only to you.
Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
11/10/2019 10:08 pm
    Quoting  :
I dunno, curse throwing sounds like a grudge match throw down to me

The church of Witchy -oo? Pfft. That is mor AHEM than AMEN. Those sisters are karmic Kauldron siphoners. Not that parchment and crawling about in cavers should be dissed, but those ingredient lists can be very eyebrow raising.

Karma was the inspiration for ray guns. You get your ass blasted by the energy you load up and fire out. An ass shot of karma should be a tarrot card.
Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


aHedonist 52M
7510 posts
11/11/2019 4:34 am

 Put it this way... I'm a pretty easy going kind of man, and mostly I forgive.... but I rarely forget. If however you really want to push it to the point where you get on the bad side of me well... I'll make it worth your trouble.

I'm not vindictive however - when its done its done. But it's not done until I say it's done.


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
11/11/2019 11:16 pm
    Quoting aHedonist:
    Put it this way... I'm a pretty easy going kind of man, and mostly I forgive.... but I rarely forget. If however you really want to push it to the point where you get on the bad side of me well... I'll make it worth your trouble.

    I'm not vindictive however - when its done its done. But it's not done until I say it's done.
I know you're a good man. A very good one in fact, but yeah, dont poke the beast if you dont want an ass full of teeth.

To me that is just common sense just like shunning a total toxic family member or shady coworker is. Its not a grudge if you shove em away instead of holding that grudge and them close enough to cause one
Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~



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