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Blogs > cuzisaid > Swine & Pearls exist even here

cuzisaid 53F  
5551 posts
7/24/2006 12:43 am
Okay, so I can

WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?

because they are plugged into a genius

WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?

they don't have enough time

WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE 1 EGG?

they don't stop to ask directions

WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?

because their balls fall over their asshole and they vapor lock

WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?

so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties

WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?

you always need a rough draft before you make a final copy

HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?

don't know.....it never happened

WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?

because a vibrator can't mow the lawn
Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~
cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
7/25/2006 4:42 pm
    Quoting ursecretlvr:
    T (and pam)-

    I go for a while and . . . well there goes the neighborhood! Man bashing again! Sheesh! Now I have to defend the honor of all that's male. I will teach a vibrator to mow the lawn AND I will lay on My stomach now when I sleep!

    you know the only reason you women complain about the toilet seat issue is that it's up. If guys leave it don't it gets peed on. SO, make up your fucking mind . . . a little wet or go for a swim!

    Now about using a guys razor . . . no, No, NO! Okay?

    We drop our clothes on the floor because they need the steel in hangers to make pickup trucks.

    I don't need a glass when I drink a beer, when I finish I need the bottle to spit chew in. AND you don't have another item to wash and put away.

    Men are an unchanged rough draft. Men always go first. Only some cum first. I'm a gentleman . . . ladies first. But some of you want 5 or 6 in a row AND you do it in front of a lover. That's just wrong. I bet if there were 6 donuts you'd take 5 and leave us one to think about. So cum once AND have to listen to talk, talk, talk, until your reloaded, get back in the mood and then cum again. Not so easy when I put it that way . . . now is it! Hrumph!

    And why can't women keep a secret (James Bond et al are always men)? Because they have so many holes to leak from. You can also pump them for information. When arrested they love to spread 'em for guys in uniform.

    But the worst one is that they can't read a map! But they sit right next to you and say, "That was the turn, that was the turn, you missed the turn!"

    Opinions May Vary! We Men are a proud lot, and never complain!
    *I walk out of the room very dignified*

    - USL aka Master Mathias
That's what you get for leaving us alone!! Hell hath no fury like a woman with idle time on her hands & a good friend to male bash with!

Pickup trucks, beer bottles, chivalry, disposable dishes....damn hon....if you were any more male, your flipping Y chromosome would implode!

For future reference...walking out dignified to one, can be perceived as stomping out indignantly to another. I'm sure thats what you meant, but with all that testosterone just racing around, your brain cells just got a bit overloaded....it's okay...us girls are VERY understanding.

And all of that, my darlin, is why I will love you til the day I die!

BTW, hand me your granddad's antique hunting knife....I just need to tighten that big screw over in that thing-a-ma-jiggy. It'll only take me a second I swear....'cause I've already got my shoe off ready to hammer the bastard in if it doesn't turn righty tighty like it's supposed to!
Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~


cuzisaid 53F  
14988 posts
7/27/2006 8:27 pm

 LMAO...

HEY! don't pick on CO boys. I know two and they both done right by me! One in plastic and one in heart and soul. I may move there just so I can see where real men actually come from.

BTW: I also wear a TUBE top with my overalls bro. The dirt is just an accessory!

iffn ya kwit scretchen dem dere balls of yourn youd know thet i wuz drsn up fer yur dum sef I rekon.
Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character.
At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached.
May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black.
~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~



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