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| Blogs > softrayne > A New Box of Crayons |
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Eyes Wide Shut Or, making the same mistake twice. So, have you ever tried to fit your square self, into a round hole? I’ve been chatting with this Dominant. He’s lovely. In so many ways just a really good fit. He’s smart, and funny, and has that undefinable “something” that makes my knees go weak, and my panties get damp. Now, what works for me, may not work for you, but…..you know what I mean. The man that looks good in a suit, and a tee shirt and jeans. Strong hands, and a stronger mind. Confidence, not bluster. He has a……(fill in the blank) that really works for you. Then it all comes to a screeching halt. He’s poly. WHAT? Now I’ve read his blog. It was touched upon. Probably due to selective reading on my part I didn’t truly see it. Not seeing that he has a slave and is looking to add to his family. Do you go ahead anyway? Do you think…maybe it’s worth it? Do you think......maybe I can make it work? Do you talk to your friends in poly relationships and see how/why it works for them? Do you think, hey, once he has me he won’t want anyone else? I mean if there is anything that plays to my insecurities more than being thought “not enough” I don’t know what it would be. For me it has shades of the last time I was here on Alt. I fell madly, passionately, head over heels in love with RB. He was perfect. He was married. He broke my heart into a million pieces. It still hurts. If he snapped his fingers, I know I would go running to him. He’s not married anymore, but he’s moved on. Without me. So here I am again. Not in love. We’ve just started. Is the potential there? Oh hell yes. Should I just stop now? It would be the smart thing to do. If I’m being utterly truly honest with myself, I know this won’t work. I know I don’t want a poly relationship. I know that in this ONE way. This ONE, important way—it won’t work. Regardless of all the other ways it does work. I really like chatting with him. I should probably stop. Give him the space he needs to find what he seeks, while I use my time more productively as well. The more we talk, the more I want. The more I want, the more I delude myself into thinking…….maybe? I’d like to remain friends with him. I just don’t know if that’s possible. |
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6/18/2016 1:35 pm |
Would be very nice to meet. 
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No... But I was fortunate to once put myself into a round, open mind who was capable of growing love beyond the limits of just One. It helped define the Man I am today and inspires us to continue sharing love without limits. Perhaps if you had trusted Him enough to convey your fears and doubts, rather than run away, life today could be a 'whole' lot different. 2014 was a long time ago... I hope the following years were filled with lots of fond, loving memories with many more to come!  3M
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