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Sadism-Action, or Reaction? So, I am not a masochist, and whenever I happen to peruse profiles (not that I’m looking *L*) and the Dom mentions that he’s a sadist, I tend to move along. Now, not that I don’t fancy a bit o’ rough now and then. The sweet stingy kiss of a whip, the whack of a cane, or the bite of a quirt are all good with me as long they interspersed with a tender caress, or a good girl. And sometimes the Dom may prefer a bit more stick than carrot, I understand that-and it is his prerogative, same as if sometimes he prefers more carrot, less stick. I just can’t seem to find that switch in my head that turns pain to pleasure. I prefer it more as a counterpoint, than a be all, end all. So, my question is this-if a sadistic Dominant interacts with me, and let’s say at a level 4 I am screaming and crying, yelping, begging, whatever his desired response is, is that more or less satisfying than someone he can interact with to a level 9 before getting the same reaction? Is it just the action of causing pain that is so satisfying? In which case the 9 would be preferred, or the reaction to the pain? In which case I presume either would suffice? Comments from both sides of the slash are welcome. |
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Obligatory Alt comment here.
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I communicate with a sensual sadistic Domme. She has that tenderness that you're looking for but also delights in any pain she inflicts. Now with her I can turn that pain into pleasure.....her charisma brings out the best in me. I truly think it all depends on the dominant and the connection I've created with her.
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It seems like you will tolerate it to please your partner more than actually enjoying it. I might be wrong, but I think that may happen the other way as well.
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12/27/2020 1:59 pm |
It isn't about the act or the pain, but the chemistry. The difference between level 4 and level 9 isn't the amount of pain but the depth of your sub space. A sadist doesn't train the body, they train the mind and spirit.
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I agree with drmgirl622 and 1uncommondom on this one. I am a sensual sadist Dominant. I enjoy giving intense pain and pleasure to my submissive. But as 1uncommondom says "the chemistry" and training "the mind and spirit" Drmgirl622 says "..depends on the dominant and the connection.." that is created. I did flogging scene in a public dungeon with my submissive (ex-wife) and it was so intense and we were so connected that she squirted and orgasmed while bound on the St Anthony's cross  . It's about the connection softrayne, because that is what the real thing is about the BDSM realm.
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I don't think there is a universal answer to your questions. Every dominant is going to have his own levels of satisfaction. IN other words, it is relative to the individual and their interaction. I myself ten to play at a level that the submissive can handle. If you achieve the desired result at one level with one individual and at anther level with a different submissive that is OK with me. For me it is the result, not the level of intensity that make me happy as well it should make her happy. "One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"
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Pain at level 9 would be so off of the charts for you. Pain at any level is satisfying for me. Howling at the moon and mal ad osteo.
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rayne I think we have individual levels of tolerance and desire for pain! The good dominant recognises this and does NOT push the sub further (Unless the sub requests) A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw Jenny
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12/27/2020 7:33 pm |
To a true masochist there is no pain . . . No pain greater than their desire to please! They would walk through hell itself to hear two words, "good girl".
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To a true masochist there is no pain . . . No pain greater than their desire to please! They would walk through hell itself to hear two words, "good girl". Thank you for making it make sense to me.
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12/28/2020 1:57 am |
Naughty
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THIS! The other point to add is that endorphins aren't the only chemical released, the other is adrenalin. While for the most part they are opposing forces, they both have the ability to nullify pain. You need to identify which you are dealing with, as the sub's headspace will be completely different.
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There is not one way only to this relations, I have noticed that many talk abiut being masochists or "kinky'' but they disappear as soon as you go into real sado (my side) maso (the other) stuff. I guess most of the profiles here are just fake and meant to get something off of you....$$. Hold on, I am not saying you are on of those, just to be clear on this. with all respects - MPA
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I can only agree with you all!
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12/28/2020 6:40 am |
this is a very complicated subject, as the sub's pain threshold needs to be taken into account. It is important to understand the difference between a submissive and a masochist. An experienced masochist's ability to overcome pain is not measurable by "submissive" standards. Their heart and spirit are far stronger than their body or it's feeble chemicals. Remember, they have a safe word or signal but refuse to use it. This isn't complicated, but it's the most profound thing in BDSM. Because in the end the masochist that follows every demand and obeys completely is the strongest mind in the room. Most Dominants find this intimidating.
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When the river sounds, water brings ... Good luck with that, but be careful ...
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softrayne replies on 2/1/2021 8:27 pm: Hello Arkangel, I trust you had a nice holiday? I am always careful. In fact I am still enjoying it a lot, thank you for your comment ...
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So I could be wrong about some of the assertions I am about to make here, but these are my opinions and I hope they are received in the playful yet intellectual discourse I intend for them. I feel like any Top that has chosen that as their role, that believes they have no sadistic tendencies at all, is lying to themselves, or others - or perhaps has not looked deeply enough within themselves to observe that. Sadist is a label sure, like Master, Top, Dom... but I find elements of sadism in anyone that would dominate or control - even if they only do it for fun and realization of fantasies. I find this unavoidable, although other perspectives may differ. I have never met a top that did not have at least a tiny sliver of sadistic qualities. I suggest that Tops that are unwilling to admit that, have either not looked that far within, or are withholding because they do not want to scare away potential partners and are not prioritizing open honesty in that regard. Subs that claim zero masochistic tendencies? Also look within. I do not believe that all - most even? - masochists interpret physical pain as actual pleasure, although maybe some that we call pain sluts do. There may be slightly more to the way a masochist (or sub) 'enjoys', craves, or seeks out pain, than just experiencing the sensations as pleasure. For your questions - my experience may differ vastly from the typical sadist, but here is how I see that, vs how much pain do I require to be able to cause and is more better? For me, the real answer to that depends on the girl's headspace. It is not the actual knowledge of 'Oh I am causing pain this is great wheeee!' for me, at all. It is about my enjoyment of the visceral reactions I receive & observe from the girl, whether it may be the sounds she makes, that look in her eyes, tears streaming down her face, her squirming... that is what makes it thrilling for me. It is not always physical pain required to evoke that from a girl, and I will typically use the amount of pain required or any other tools available to me to get the responses I enjoy, aside from pain - to date, that has not needed to get anywhere close to what most of us might think of when they talk about sadists, like needles in breasts or other places as an example. Some say that makes me not an extreme sadist, and I have been called a 'sensual sadist' although I dislike that label. I prefer 'psychological sadist', but I use the label of Master, because I have developed the self discipline to only let that beast out for play when its appropriate.
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