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softrayne 56F
1825 posts
11/28/2021 8:11 am

Last Read:
11/5/2023 4:52 pm

For Love or Money


*finallybreathingrayne*

softrayne 56F
3088 posts
11/28/2021 8:12 am

There has been a lot going on in my life in the past 6 months. That is why my comments have been sparse, and blogs practically non-existent. Apologies if I have not replied to your comments yet, but it has been a very busy time in my life, with lots of upheaval.

By any reasonable accounting, I was living “The American Dream”
A 2200sf, 4 bedroom, 2.5 bath house on 5 acres of land. We had chickens for eggs, a huge garden and bees for honey. A vacation in Iceland. Diamond earrings for my birthday. A $3,000 Christmas budget. Thought nothing of dropping 300+ for dinner out for the two of us. The promise of a new Audi A5 for my next car. A life that was full of material things but empty of joy and passion.

I was the pretty little bird, in the gilded cage.

I was miserable.

There was no intimacy. No sex. And definitely no kink.

After much introspection, I decided I had to make a change. It was not an easy decision, nor one I took lightly; however, I knew I couldn’t continue the way things were going. I was dying slowly on the inside.

So, there was a divorce, getting the house ready to go on market, all the showings and the subsequent packing and sale. Finding a new place to live.
So now I sit here in my tiny 700 sf apartment. With extremely limited closet space (and yes, I know, First World problems, but that is a hill I will die on)

Poor(ish)(er) but happy.

I will trade diamonds for Dominance.

I will trade vacations for handprints on my ass.

I will trade the cost of things for things of value.

Contentment, balance and peace are priceless

Finding myself.

Learning to live an authentic, true to me life.

I’ve started going to the gym again, and taking time to journal every night.

So that’s where I’ve been, but I can’t wait to see where I’m going!


aliljaded 53F
8926 posts
11/28/2021 8:19 am

Welcome, home. I'm so happy that you've found something of value in your life, my friend. Sometimes we find ourselves in the middle of nowhere. Sometimes in the middle of nowhere is where we find ourselves.
All the best to you ...
~M

"Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”


softrayne replies on 11/28/2021 8:27 am:
Thank you dear friend. I am nervous, but excited to see what comes next for me. I know I made the right decision though, and I am eager to see where this path of self discovery will take me.

Heatseeker696 74M  
128 posts
11/28/2021 8:42 am

Welcome back....If the new Rayne is half as interesting as the "old " Rayne,,,we are all in for an interesting ride
You have been missed !!


softrayne replies on 11/28/2021 8:50 am:
*kisses* thank you HS, buckle up!!

drmgirl622 68F  
26111 posts
11/28/2021 9:33 am

It's all a matter of lessons learned and doing what makes your heart sing.


softrayne replies on 11/28/2021 11:30 am:
Hi dreamy, thanks for the love. It was a hard lesson to be sure. All the things I thought would make me happy, really didn't. So now the search for the heart song begins.

rope_n_cuffs 78M  
949 posts
11/28/2021 9:37 am

That took courage. I hope things work out better for you.


softrayne replies on 11/28/2021 12:05 pm:
Thank you rnc, I am starting to think I might be braver than I know.

palloncina 40F
31 posts
11/28/2021 1:58 pm

never had the diamonds, but always happy for the rewards of life


softrayne replies on 11/29/2021 7:57 pm:
Hopefully dear pallo, the rewards will be sweet indeed

InderioMinx 54F  
19838 posts
11/28/2021 5:13 pm

Happy to see you back with us and to know that you are moving forward in your journey to happiness.

Some life challenges put things into perspective.

Ars longa, vita brevis - Art is long, life is short


softrayne replies on 11/29/2021 7:53 pm:
Thank you dearest Lady *smiles* I'm so glad to be back, and enjoying my blog interactions with good friends. I am forward to self awareness.

Artschoolgrad 47M
8719 posts
11/29/2021 11:32 am

contentment is so hard to find. congrats.


softrayne replies on 11/29/2021 7:49 pm:
Thank you ASG *smiles* I haven't found it completely yet, but I'm a damn sight lot closer than I was before.

JohnnyLightning 65M  
9672 posts
11/29/2021 1:15 pm

It's nice to have material things however they're not the be-all end-all. Best wishes to you as you turn another corner in life.

Howling at the moon and mal ad osteo.


softrayne replies on 11/29/2021 7:50 pm:
Thank you JL, I am looking forward in anticipation.

jdmhab 71M
1234 posts
11/29/2021 6:57 pm

Good to see you're well. Good luck and strength.


softrayne replies on 11/30/2021 5:35 pm:
Thank you jd, I truly appreciate the supportive comments.

ExNameForUse 53F
5764 posts
11/30/2021 12:06 pm

There is nothing what you cant do and achieve, dear Rayne. Much more than you think maybe. Take your time, as much as you need it. Everything will be okay. Big tight hug coming your way


softrayne replies on 11/30/2021 5:37 pm:
and big tight hug for you dear one

It for sure took a lot out of me, the well is slowly replenishing though.

jenny14 75T  
90348 posts
11/30/2021 5:02 pm

rayne

"Money can't buy happiness"!

Well done for making the changes so that you can be!


A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw

Jenny


softrayne replies on 12/5/2021 2:29 pm:
Thank you jen. I am slowly coming to realize that. I appreciate your support as always.

NoNonsense_Dom 70M  
1538 posts
2/12/2022 2:20 pm

Dear lady, real is what we all want from life, not pretend, and that can only happen if we are totally honest with ourselves. We need to look at what we really value in life and work towards that, rather than the materialistic. If you have someone that says to you, 'Good girl' and gives you a cuddle or a slap on the arse, isn't that more comforting than a pair of earrings or shoes ( I know you do value your shoes)? Can those shoes talk with you of an evening, can those earrings smack you on your arse!

A friend once said to me, "I have been poor before and I really don't ever want to go back to that", but to me, waking up happy each day, and going to bed contented each evening is far more important than where I am going to spend my next holiday or the car I am going to buy. We need to accept that the less than finer things CAN give us happiness, especially if we have a beating heart beside us in life.



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