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For Love or Money *finallybreathingrayne* |
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There has been a lot going on in my life in the past 6 months. That is why my comments have been sparse, and blogs practically non-existent. Apologies if I have not replied to your comments yet, but it has been a very busy time in my life, with lots of upheaval. By any reasonable accounting, I was living “The American Dream” A 2200sf, 4 bedroom, 2.5 bath house on 5 acres of land. We had chickens for eggs, a huge garden and bees for honey. A vacation in Iceland. Diamond earrings for my birthday. A $3,000 Christmas budget. Thought nothing of dropping 300+ for dinner out for the two of us. The promise of a new Audi A5 for my next car. A life that was full of material things but empty of joy and passion. I was the pretty little bird, in the gilded cage. I was miserable. There was no intimacy. No sex. And definitely no kink. After much introspection, I decided I had to make a change. It was not an easy decision, nor one I took lightly; however, I knew I couldn’t continue the way things were going. I was dying slowly on the inside. So, there was a divorce, getting the house ready to go on market, all the showings and the subsequent packing and sale. Finding a new place to live. So now I sit here in my tiny 700 sf apartment. With extremely limited closet space (and yes, I know, First World problems, but that is a hill I will die on) Poor(ish)(er) but happy. I will trade diamonds for Dominance. I will trade vacations for handprints on my ass. I will trade the cost of things for things of value. Contentment, balance and peace are priceless Finding myself. Learning to live an authentic, true to me life. I’ve started going to the gym again, and taking time to journal every night. So that’s where I’ve been, but I can’t wait to see where I’m going!
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Welcome, home. I'm so happy that you've found something of value in your life, my friend. Sometimes we find ourselves in the middle of nowhere. Sometimes in the middle of nowhere is where we find ourselves. All the best to you ... ~M "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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Welcome back....If the new Rayne is half as interesting as the "old " Rayne,,,we are all in for an interesting ride You have been missed !!
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It's all a matter of lessons learned and doing what makes your heart sing. 
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That took courage. I hope things work out better for you.
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never had the diamonds, but always happy for the rewards of life 
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Happy to see you back with us and to know that you are moving forward in your journey to happiness.  Some life challenges put things into perspective.  Ars longa, vita brevis - Art is long, life is short  
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contentment is so hard to find. congrats.
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It's nice to have material things however they're not the be-all end-all. Best wishes to you as you turn another corner in life. Howling at the moon and mal ad osteo.
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Good to see you're well. Good luck and strength.
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There is nothing what you cant do and achieve, dear Rayne. Much more than you think maybe. Take your time, as much as you need it. Everything will be okay. Big tight hug coming your way 
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rayne "Money can't buy happiness"!  Well done for making the changes so that you can be! A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw Jenny
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Dear lady, real is what we all want from life, not pretend, and that can only happen if we are totally honest with ourselves. We need to look at what we really value in life and work towards that, rather than the materialistic. If you have someone that says to you, 'Good girl' and gives you a cuddle or a slap on the arse, isn't that more comforting than a pair of earrings or shoes ( I know you do value your shoes)? Can those shoes talk with you of an evening, can those earrings smack you on your arse! A friend once said to me, "I have been poor before and I really don't ever want to go back to that", but to me, waking up happy each day, and going to bed contented each evening is far more important than where I am going to spend my next holiday or the car I am going to buy. We need to accept that the less than finer things CAN give us happiness, especially if we have a beating heart beside us in life.
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