Blog : 8/26/07

83 posts
8/26/2007 9:45 am

8/26/07

i'm a little nervous...did a pregnancy test which was negative, but until i start my period, i'm going to be worried. (Which doesn't help). Pray, pray pray that i start. Top encouraged me to go ahead and get a test, which i did, obviously, but it still might be a few days too early.

i am too old for this. Fuck. I ordered an IUD and will be so happy to have that taken care of, but honestly feel he should be getting tied instead of me getting a foreign object placed in my uterus. i don't care though, ONE of us needs to take care of it. This is a 600 dollar venture. ..sigh.

It's been interesting...i don't know if people read my blogs or are just psychic, but i had several people from my past call and ask if i was busy this weekend. Thought that was funny. SadisticM tried to convince me to come up ..."He'll never know" sure he won't, but I WOULD. i've got more integrity than that and would not do anything with anybody unless i left the relationship first or convinced him to change the agreement. i'm not interested in<b> fuck buddies </font></b>and haven't been for a long while. i had those. two very good ones actually. i was a little rude and said, "Why would i make that trek when i could do that here?" But every Dom/me has there, because it's ME belief. Makes me wonder if he was lying all the time about looking for his "partner" or just after another fuck. Na. When i think back i don't believe that, but that would be true about what he was looking for this weekend. Oh i would have enjoyed that weekend. Although, if i was going to cheat, i have to admit, Bako would be who i'd want to go to. Yes, i'm thinking about it only now because i'm so fucking horny and needy, and know it will be another two weeks before i get any. SHIT. (reaches for vibrator). Thinking about it is far from acting on it, have no desire really to do that. And when i fantasize, it's about Top.

It was terrific to see people at the anniversary bash yesterday. Absolutely TERRIFIC. i had to leave a little early to get the kiddo's girlfriend back to porterville, which means i drove 4 hours yesterday. All that after working 8 hours of OT, and then drinking a bit. i was tired and enjoyed sleeping in until 8 am this morning...hey that's 3 hours of sleeping in. Today need to get some sun and clean my room extensively. Not enough room for all of my clothes in my closet or drawers. GUess it's time to get rid of some things eh? LOL. Gotta do something to expend some energy since i'm not getting fucked or beaten.


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