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barryj43 80M  
196 posts
5/7/2009 6:31 am
The secret life


May the 5, 2009 I attended the celebration of life for my boy, a married bisexual into BDSM, who passed on April 20,2009.

The church was packed there was over 200 people in attendance. His brother lit the candles at the start of the service and one flickered for a couple of minuets, it was weird to watch. I took it as a sign my boy was letting us know he was in attendance.

His brother and 3 male friends reminisced about his life, and the things he did and the things he loved. All the men got really choked up, you could tell they all loved him. There was a slide show of his life and a Clapton rendition of "somewhere over the rainbow" was played. It was nice to see pictures of him as he grew up and turned into the man he was.

He was a beautiful man and I got to see the other side of him. For 58 years he lead this ideal homophobic life and for all of them he hid his real self. How would all the people have reacted if he dared to out himself to all of them. He was who he was and who he was everyone loved. I doubt very much if it would have made any difference to how the people felt about him. His wife knew and still loved him deeply.

How many of us live the BDSM lifestyle in secret, sort of living in the closet, The secret life no one knows about and how it effects or effected our life is something to ponder. I would suggest we let people know who and what we are before it is too late and we are alone with our memories as I am now.

He and I lived our life in secret, we were a tight couple, unfortunately no one really knew what we were to each other. I attended his memorial and had to sit in silence, unable to tell people how much he meant to me.

Consequence be dammed ,we should be proud of who and what we are and live our lives openly. Given the chance to do it all over again, I know I would.


roudou251 66M
989 posts
8/18/2021 1:04 am

really sorry for you barry



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