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Blogs > tasina99 > Journey of the Seas

tasina99 115F
62 posts
9/16/2008 12:37 am
“The Chains of Fear”

It starts with a very light expectation or perhaps it is elation or hope that He will be here and available and accessible.
When He is not, she searches for an email or note or message and finds nothing.
She searches out the rooms and frequent places, looking for Him,
asking others if He�s been around.
And then she finds out she�s just missed Him, that He�s left to spaces and places unknown.

No note, no communication: silence.

The heart saddens,
the eyes darken,
the spirit and soul become weighted down.

Time passes and still no sign of Him.
She tries to remain focused and tries to remain strong.
The tears fill her eyes, while she goes about the mindless attempts at occupying the time.
The disappointment and doubts creep in to the space where security and strength were before.
She becomes a shell, confused and seeking to understand.

And then He appears�
Her spirit and heart are in such turmoil,
she knows not what to do.

She desires to reach out to Him but knows not what to say.
Her heart cries but she can not express that to Him.

And then she understands the meaning of all that she experienced:
When she doesn�t know what�s happening, she fears
When she fears, she loses trust
When she loses trust, she feels unsafe, in danger, anxious
And when she feels unsafe, she withdraws from Him who is her protector.
Her fragility emerges and she is afraid.

As time passes and the frequency of the occurences increase, her sensitivities become heightened.
Eventually only a hint of the fear instantly shifts her heart, soul and mind to the dreadful path: the path that leads to no where, of being lost in her insecurities, and not knowing where she stands

Over time, she hides in her fear, never emerging �
And in that fear, she hides her heart and soul from Him, who has the power to set her free from the invisible chains she wears.

tasina
� September 2008
"like the seas, her depth and power will only be known by He who inspires her into submission”

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