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Why I cam Lately (the last week), I've been camming more than normal. Firstly, I have to say, people have gotten much nicer and less abusive from the last time I tried camming. I stopped for a long time since people were rude and called me fat and such. If you don't like my body, well, stop watching the video. I am not into being ridiculed. Ok .. back to topic at hand. Yes, I have found I am an exhibitionist, although maybe not in the same way everyone takes it. I am not "modest" -- mostly because I don't think the human form is something to hide. I am an artist. I try to go to life drawing class at least once a month. To me, it doesn't matter if my model is female, male, etc. I like figuring out how bodies go together and work. I love being able to see muscles move under skin. Sometimes tattoos are awesome, they accent a body, sometimes they get in the way of me seeing what I want. As I often say, either you have the parts I have, or you are attracted to the parts I have, or maybe both. I also enjoy sex. I really like orgasms. They feel good. I've never understood why people think that you should avoid your own personal playground. It has taken me a long time to get to that state of body-acceptance/positivity/what not. My parents were very insistent that I should not be comfortable in my body. (This isn't therapy, so just deal with that they were not good parents on this part.) My mom was anorexic, so my relationship with food was odd. However, I'm now to the point, that I want my body to work for me. If I am unhappy about part of it, I work on it -- I've noticed my arms getting a little weak, so I keep a dumbbell by my workspace. I try to remember to do a few sets a couple times a day. I eat mostly what I want -- I try to be healthy, but everyone is going to die of something, I don't want to be miserable. Camming is nice. I can share my happiness with others. Sometimes they appreciate and say something, sometimes they don't. As long as its not negative, I don't mind most comments. It also lets me have an out for my desires without engaging in unsafe behavior. Meeting people is scary! However I like chatting with people.  I know, conundrum!!! Camming also lets me experiment with some ideas while not committing to them in person. I often find out how other people see kink, and I get some great ideas! Sometimes I learn what not to do -- I've also learned that the folding table I keep my keyboard on is NOT stable enough to hold my legs in an orgasm. However, I also didn't get weirded out by going ass over tea kettle while trying to cam and use a vibrator. I did change my space some! This didn't turn out to be the post that I started writing. However, I'm retired and not longer have to worry about word limits and ordered writing. I don't even have to worry about being "outed." Who would care? There are very few people who would gasp over it, and even fewer that I would care about. One advantage of now longer having parents, there isn't anyone to give you the "I'm disappointed" talk. So, I guess the tl:dr: Enjoy yourself. Get off when you can/want to. Take the compliments as much as you can, and realize that everyone is exploring life. |
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I'm glad to hear that you're at a place where you have accepted your body and can enjoy it. I enjoy it too 
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1 post 5/12/2022 9:13 pm |
Hi Kivrin I just read your post and My Apologies One never knows the struggles any of us go through Life doesn't come with a manual we take whats given to us and we try to better ourselves I hope your Journey will make you the person you want to be the Artist that you are and the woman you've became your a beautiful soul and I'am proud to be your friend
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Very well written very good way you explained self and what you do and what you like. Thanks. Tews
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