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kivrin2 50F
76 posts
7/16/2010 10:14 pm
feeling on hold and frustrated


Ok. Try number 2. First try got deleted by random falling mouse. *sigh*

I am at a point where I am worried to meet anyone. Either the people I meet think I am going to divorce my husband and run off with them, or all they want is a one night stand.

What I want is somewhere between. There has to be a real connection with any play partner I have. It can't be just play and nothing else, then it doesn't feel real. However, I am very happily married. And yes, my husband is aware of what I do and with whom. I don't lie or sneak around.

I will happily talk with people, but when I try and move from online to a meeting, either I freak out or I realize that the person wants more from me than I can give (or some combination of the two). Safety -- of all kinds -- is an essential part of kink for me. I have to know that eyes are open, expectations are realistic, and limits are honored. That goes from the obvious condom to an expectation of privacy and discretion. However, that kind of trust isn't created by a couple emails or a hot n heavy cam session.

However, I also know that sometimes you have to test the water to know what it's like. You can stare at it, analyze it, draw it, photograph it, etc, but actually touching it requires a risk. I can't decide if I'm just too timid, or if my reticence is justified. *sigh*

uranus2323 65M

8/4/2010 6:38 pm

Kivrin, this is a little late. I just read this blog. I know you don't believe me or trust me but we were made for one another. You're married and so am I. My situation is a little different than yours but in many ways the same. There are many things that would be good for each of us. Both of us is happily married. Both of us is looking for a part time play partner. We live close to one another. We are not looking for any strings. I think in many ways you are looking for a friend and so am I. I loved your webcam. You are one hell of a good girl. Think it over. I honestly and truly know I would be good for you.
You can trust me.



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