Blog : A Carlin Goodbye To 2015

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12/31/2015 1:34 pm

A Carlin Goodbye To 2015

Rather than sitting here, bemoaning the bumps of the past 12 months or singing the praises of the latest IPhone or Flogger, I thought it might be better to end the year with a random selection of George Carlin quotes and reflections...

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam.

Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.

HERE'S WISHING YOU AN AWESOME 2016 FILLED WITH LOVE, COMPASSION, HEALTH...AND A FEW WITTICISMS!

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