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likesmatureones 55M
0 posts
6/12/2019 8:11 pm
Do you apologize or just move on


Okay had the second date..literally it was a vanilla date with the Domme..

And it went wrong..

Now we've all been on dates where it is going wrong and you just want to end it.
We've also been on dates where there was no chemistry.

Add to the mix this woman started to remind me of my ex domme and it sorta triggered me in a bad way..
Like everything I didn't like about my ex i saw now in this woman.

So after spending 4 hrs with her ( that is a movie and dinner)....I took her home..

Later that night she texted me and asked why I rushed the date?
??? A 4 hr date is rushed?

I wrote her some generic email about how i didn't want to be in a relationship...
And ofcourse she blasted me in a series of text etc.

Im really not a bad guy. But like I explained previously..
Dommes want the relationship before the kink.
Men want kink, but will let the relationship develope naturally.
Meaning I luv the domme/ lifestyle dynamic...but not really interested in the vanilla dating end.
I mean if I wanted to date in a vanilla fashion, I'd date a vanilla woman...
If with a Domme then i want that power dynamic.

Basically if you want control then take it...why the dating and judging. It's like Dommes want subtle control over men but won't engage in a power dynamic with them.

For example this domme wanted me to just quit my gym and join hers...
Yet as far as she was concerned i was just leo..not a sub..not her sub. Just up and quit.

To me it seems like the Domme is double judging you..are you good enough to not only be the sub but the bf as well.

Anyway i was wondering if i should write some letter of explanation...or let her just assume im some asshat male .

Im really not interested in her in a romantic way..we might make good buds or great play partners...
But that's about it...

Or should I just move along

likesmatureones 55M

6/12/2019 8:11 pm


HW13KineticBlue 55M

6/12/2019 8:23 pm

Send her a copy of this blog


RaymondWise 65M/51F
41 posts
6/12/2019 9:36 pm

Something to think about, if you go on a date, the implication is that there's the possibility of a relationship, and that's what's logical to happen first.

Maybe you could see if possible partners want to start with a play date.

My preference is relationship first (though it hasn't always happened that way.)

I do think telling her you're not interested, and I guess you did, is enough. I don't think explanations are owed when someone isn't interested. Having a conversating about it could be enlightening with the other party, or not, but I don't believe it is owed.


lancylad 78M
384 posts
6/13/2019 1:46 am

Always, but always, apologise as it's just plain courteous & there's not a lot of that about on this site IMO !!!!


robj1956 68M
1679 posts
6/13/2019 2:43 am

I'm with Charles above, too many leaving each other hanging, not necessarily apologizing, more explaining, who knows, maybe it can still work out. A good Domme is hard to find, right ?


pzkw 63M  
1298 posts
6/13/2019 4:06 am

A well-written blog post - it really captures my sentiments about this whole arena. My thoughts on this: move one.


drmgirl622 68F  
26140 posts
6/13/2019 6:56 am

I say just sit down and have an adult conversation with her. Just as you say you are not a mind reader neither is she.



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