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people are crazy sometimes I know I have all that other crap I mentioned in a previous post to catch up on, but I want to write about this now, while it is fresh in my brain. A woman recently contacted me on FetLife. She’d actually found my profile on CollarSpace but claimed to have difficulty sending me messages there. Whatever - it was nice to have someone expressing interest in me. We corresponded, there definitely seemed to be a connection worth pursuing, so we agreed to meet. I chose a pub not too far from where I reside, and on the evening of, arrived to find her already seated. Our talk was easy, and at some point she bluntly and boldly asked if we could hold hands in that no-man’s-land that is the middle of the table. For the rest of our visit, we did not relinquish hold of each other for more than a few moments. It was wonderful, refreshing, fun, and I think I’m correct when I say we both left the situation excited to see each other again. Now, a quick bit of background before telling you the other half of this story. This woman just recently had a very traumatic experience online. She fell for a man who turned out to be a scam artist. I’m still uncertain of what he intended to take, but it sounds like the guy was manipulating on a much more personal level. So, this woman began corresponding with me, and came to meet me, with that bit of history a mere 6 months old. Keeping that information in mind, I’ve been patient, understanding, and forgiving when things get unduly odd, uncomfortable, etc. She is suspicious, and normally that sort of attitude would turn me away from a piece of ass as well as a romantic prospect. I’ve had patience, and then more patience, and am quite proud of the progress we made in a short time. Trust is important, and I’ve gone out of my way to earn hers. Or, at least I thought I was… We’d been talking all week about meeting again, and spending as much time together as possible. She came up with several ideas of what we could do, and where we could hang out, just so our time together would be extended. There was light fear expressed, but mostly an abundance of enthusiasm, which I was proud and happy to see. Then I woke up Saturday morning (the day we were supposed to meet for the 2nd time) to a few messages that made me consider changing my mind about pursuing this woman. I’d given her the address of the apartment complex I am staying in, without revealing the unit number, the night before, and told her all she needed to do was pull into the parking lot and send me a text message that she’d arrived. No need to come inside, or even get out of her vehicle, which to me seems really safe. With technology what it is today, she could easily have typed the address I gave her into a site and actually seen the apartment complex, and surrounding neighborhood. Instead, I got a late-night/early morning message that expressed fear. What if I had a weapon and meant her harm? Could we possibly meet somewhere public? If not, she claimed she would understand, and there would be no hard feelings. My response was brief, but clear; I understood her fear, and respected it, but did not want to hang out with her. I wished her well, and suggested she stay in touch so we might communicate in the future. Shortly after hitting the send button, I received no less than 5 messages on FetLife, explaining how I had misunderstood, and she was ready and willing to come pick me up. I also began getting text messages directing me to the growing litany on FetLife. She said that she was prepared to show up at the time and address agreed upon, felt silly for being scared, misunderstood - it was a lot to deal with. I feared replying would only keep the torrent flowing so I remained mute. Put my phone down and went about my morning. I don’t know how long it was before I picked my phone back up again, but when I did, the light that indicated I had messages was flashing. Tapping in the code that allows me access to my smart phone, I saw that there were 4 from the same number. What I read was quite surprising. The woman I had been corresponding with, whom I had clearly told I did not want to see, had driven to the address I’d given her and was parked in the shade of a tree, waiting for me to come out. I really couldn’t believe my eyes. I quickly made up a lie about already being gone from the apartment, and after another 4 messages were sent to me (that I did not reply to) she informed me that she was leaving. I actually went to the windows of the apartment to see if I could witness her exit, but did not. There were no unfamiliar vehicles parked in the shade of any trees, and no movement of any kind, from anything. Perhaps she was never there, or maybe I just missed seeing her. Either way, I’ve not heard from her since, and am quite thankful for that small favor. Of course, I have no idea if this is over or not. She may be an unstable<b> stalker </font></b>type, or may just be sane enough to disappear. Time will tell. I am feeling like I dodged a bit of a bullet right now, and thinking I should once again be more cautious about affairs that might include the heart. This was initiated by her, so at least I take comfort in that fact. I’ve been lucky, and haven’t had to deal with many unsettling personalities in my past. Perhaps I was overdue? And I’m sure there is a lesson to be learned here, but dammit if I can figure out what it might be. |
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