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statement of purpose I’ve lived a very full, selfish, self-centered life and although I’ve cared deeply for the pets I had, my love for animals in general could have, and should have, gone much deeper. Growing up, I wanted to be a veterinarian but when I found I couldn’t stomach the bloody parts I at least vowed to be a good pet owner. I’ve never mistreated an animal, but I have definitely gone out of my way to give them a better quality of life, and even been there to make sure they had a peaceful exit. animals have been a very important part of my life, and at times the love I felt for them has been far greater than what I’ve felt for humankind. People are evil, puppies and kittens are not. So I’ve made a decision, and it’s basically this: I want to end my days in service of animals. Maybe “living creatures” would be a better way to say it. I don’t know how feasible it will be due to my (soon to be) isolated location, but I want to open an animal sanctuary and rescue. This will require funding from outside sources, of course, and it might sound unromantic to say it but I am going to openly seek a female companion who is a veterinarian, or at least wants to be one. I’ve taken so much joy from this life, and I don’t think animals get a fair shake in even the best of circumstances, but maybe I can tip the scales just a tad bit more in their favor, at least if they come into my orbit. Birds, rodents, domesticated pets and wild animals - if they need a quiet, calm, loving place to live (or even die) I want to provide that. Spending all my waking moments taking care of my brood, until my last. That would be a worthwhile end to my story. Linda Blair, the actress who played the possessed girl in “the Exorcist” has dedicated at least a portion of her existence to helping animals, and I’d like to walk a similar path. Obviously I am not famous, and have no real idea how to raise money the crowd funding way. I am the biggest antisocial introvert in the world, which means nobody knows or cares about me, or what I might want to accomplish, no matter how altruistic it might be. So this dream might wind up being nothing more than that; a dream. If I can’t manage that, then I will at least be adopting dogs and cats from shelters that have been there a long time, and seem unappealing for some reason. If I can afford to end my days taking care of unwanted, unloved animals that didn’t have a chance at a good home I will die with little regret. Heck, maybe having the critters around will make me want to stick around longer. I recently started taking a serious look at Buddhism, mainly because I was feeling spiritually lost again, but there was also something else going on in my mind and heart. Lately I’ve been trying to respect the sanctity and gift of life that is given to all creatures, not just people. Every living being has the right to exist and I have no right to put a stop to that. In fact, if I believe in karma at all (and I always have) then it behooves me to not only live and let live, but also care for those who cannot care for themselves. Since my relationship with humans is terrible, and the one I have with animals is magnificent, I intend to expand on that. This means I have stopped lashing out at the living things that frightened or repulsed me, like spiders. It means I have to live with watching the one that has been in my room for the past week make its way across the ceiling and walls, but not going over to squash it. Simple enough for some, but there are others of you out there who probably wouldn’t blame me because your repulsions equals or even trumps mine. It used to be I would either kill the spider or find a way to it outside but now I am learning to live with it, and that is the kinder, gentler me that I want to freely give to any creature that crosses my path from now on. The birds who make the noise I hate will receive my love - or at least a little less anger spewed in their direction. The bugs I come across will remain uncrushed, but I can’t promise to refrain from trying to shoo a few out the door, because insects still kind of ick me out. I will strive to do better.  For now I will give some of my love to Ziggy, even if he does try to bite my nose off (he’s just giving me a kiss but I thought the picture looked funny) and there’s a cat I’ve been running into during my nightly walks that I can’t resist giving some scritches, but once I finally head to Southern Oregon I hope to be taking a few furry friends with me. As much as I dig Ziggy he and I are not meant to be together. I can’t provide the kind of home he needs and he can’t provide the kind of peace and quiet I desperately require. So I will do my best not to get too attached and just create my own furry / feathered / scaled / ? family in due time. I have so much love to give and I have a feeling there are plenty of beating hearts that would accept that with genuine gratitude. I take what I can get in the form of purrs and lickings and whatever else comes my way. That will be reward enough. |
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