Blog : the ugly truth (an anniversary)

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6/30/2020 12:55 am

the ugly truth (an anniversary)

This is not going to be fun or easy, but sometimes the truth is very ugly - like this photo:

That is my booking photo. Please don’t look at it for too long - ugh.

Today is an anniversary of sorts. On July 29th, 2015 my (now ex-) girlfriend and I were rudely pulled from our sleep by someone banging on the front door. This alarmed us greatly because we were staying in an abandoned vacation home on the coast of Oregon, and had been doing so off and on for about three months. We were also freaking out because parked outside, in front of the house, was a stolen vehicle we had been driving back and forth between central Oregon and the coast for those same three months.

I’m not going to do a play-by-play of what happened because if I did, this post would be miles long. Here’s what you need to know:

1) My girlfriend and I had moved to the coast for some peace and quiet. On the second day after our arrival it was revealed to us that our next door neighbors were transforming their home into a professional wood shop. The ensuing noise from construction was endless, and it had a severely adverse effect on both of us. With no alternative housing available, we made a very dumb decision and decided to begin staying in the vacation homes we could see all around us, that were empty day after day. Eventually we settled on one place that seemed to have been abandoned, but was still in good shape. While we were there we used the electricity and water, but we also cleaned it up a bit. I wouldn’t call it a fair trade by any means, but at least we weren’t wrecking the place.

2) We’d traveled to the coast with the intention of riding our bicycles all the time, but when we were forced to move it became clear that a vehicle would be necessary to transport our belongings. So one night I went out and, no joke, began looking in the wheel wells of vehicles for those magnetized hide-a-keys. I think I found one under the sixth vehicle I looked at. It was crazy. I pulled out the key, got in the vehicle, started it up and drove away. For three full months (probably more) I drove that thing, and never once got pulled over. Here’s the thing though: the vehicle was stolen probably less than a mile from the abandoned vacation home we were staying in, so for those three months I parked it in places that would keep it hidden from view, and my girlfriend and I would walk to the house. Every day I woke up, I went to get the vehicle wondering if it would still be there, and it invariably was, time and time again. The night before we were arrested, we drove into town really late, and were both exhausted. We had definitely become complacent by then, so I parked the vehicle I’d stolen from people who lived less than a mile away, right in front of a home I had no permission to be in. Stupid.

I could try to justify my actions and make this seem like a sob story, instead of the tale of a jerk and his girlfriend breaking laws, but I like to be honest here, even if it paints me in a negative light, or is just plain embarrassing. I could tell you that my girlfriend was often sick and needed to go the doctor on a regular basis, which would partially justify the theft of a vehicle, but who am I kidding? I was a prick; I saw something I needed and I took it. Eventually I paid for it.

Back to the story… the police came knocking on the door in the middle of the day, but for my girlfriend and I it was still sleepy time. We were caught off guard, and we did our best to get out of the situation, but it didn’t work. Too many items in the stolen vehicle could easily be linked to us, and despite my minimal knowledge regarding the owners of the house, it was easily established that we did not have permission to be there. We were both arrested and taken to the local jail where that horrible photo you have to promise not to look at again was taken.

No, I was not on meth, or cocaine, or heroin. I repeat; my girlfriend and I were sleeping when the police arrived and that is why I look so terrible. Yes, my weight was down, and I was skinny as can be, but not because I was doing anything bad. My diet was consistent, and I was getting a certain amount of exercise, so my weight had settled on the low end, as it often does. The only thing I was doing was smoking marijuana, and if you know anything about that, you know pot smokers usually get the munchies and eat all the time. That was me, and no matter how much I ate my weight stayed the same. But it’s been that way my whole life, and is still that way today.

Here’s what I was booked for, and charged with:

First-degree burglary
First-degree theft
Second-degree criminal mischief
Possession of a stolen vehicle
Unauthorized use of a motor vehicle

Notice how some charges just seem like a rewording of the same thing? I guess it’s important to establish that I didn’t just have (possession) of a stolen vehicle I was also driving (use of) it. I will discuss how they stack charges like this in the hopes that it will scare most people into taking plea deals, but I want to tell you something different right now.

You are not going to believe this, but the police initially wanted to charge me with White Slavery. My girlfriend and I were honest about what we were doing for a living (making porn) and they tried to convince her that she was being controlled and used by me to make money. It was completely absurd. They knew nothing of our intense love relationship, that was actually being documented every single day in my blog, they just saw a young girl with an older man and thought they could add some more trumped up charges. It would have been laughable if they weren’t serious about it.

Of course my girlfriend refused to cooperate in any way. She made it clear we were a loving couple in a healthy relationship and they were forced to abandon the idea. As I’ve said before, I made sure to take the blame for everything that we had collectively done wrong, and as a result my girlfriend was out of jail in three days and received probation, whereas I pled guilty to Burglary, and was sentenced to 28 months.

And that is the ugly truth of how / why I was arrested and sent to prison.


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