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waking up on the wrong side of technology  Maybe it’s just bad luck, but I have a difficult time with technology. I know that’s vague, but just deal with it. From forced updates temporary loss of internet, I seem have a horrible time finding anything akin symbiosis when it comes all the supposed advances in technology, or maybe I should be more specific and just say electronics. My phone will insist I have an update install, and I am not exaggerating when I tell you that a mere 2 / hours after allowing it do this, it will insist there is another update ready be installed. Are you fucking kidding? That’s a perfect example of how idiotic and frustrating technology is for . A few nights ago I woke find that there was no internet service in our home, but later it turned out that maybe there was but my laptop had updated and I didn’t know it, and somehow that was causing an issue. The thing kept telling me I had wi-fi and it was connected, but then I’d go to check my email and it would say there was no internet. I had to click a whole bunch of buttons to get it to work again, but by the time I did that the entire night was ruined. No productivity and a whole load of angst. Score one for technology. Tonight I woke up knowing that I needed to for another month of cell phone service, and that should have been no big deal. Every month I dial a few numbers, input a few more and my fee is paid, but for some reason the exact same information I’ve typed in for the last few was suddenly registering as invalid. And before you know it, the system had basically locked out and made it impossible for my bill. Calls all 800 numbers resulted in the same thing; I can’t talk a person and can’t my fucking bill. So, as of this posting, I do not have a phone and if I don’t manage in a certain amount of time I’ll be forced get a new number, which I definitely do NOT want do. It’s a mess, and another victory for technology. And then there’s my ongoing issue with my DVD player. For reasons unknown it will get to the hour mark of some discs and then just malfunction. Refuse to play, pause the screen, or fast-forward to the end. It’s bizarre, but even more so because it doesn’t always happen. Tonight it interrupted my viewing of a movie, so until I get another player I don’t know how the flick ends. Score one more for technology! All these setbacks seem like personal attacks to me, even though I know damn well some of you must experience similar things, if not worse. Things that frustrate me, that I cannot control or fix, become very difficult for me to handle and it brings out the worst in me. Those tics and flashes of anger I hold at bay flow forth in embarrassing abundance, and it takes me far too long to get back to a level close to what one would call normal afterwards. My reliance on these electronic objects is unfortunate, but necessary, so when they don’t work it puts fear in me, and nobody likes to be afraid, right? That’s when fight or flight kicks in, the emotions boil over, and a reaction HAS TO come forth, come out, come alive in me. Unfortunately mine is usually fight, and I do that in very destructive ways like yelling at the computer, and even handling it roughly. Sometimes doors get slammed and I curse out everyone and everything in existence because I just don’t know how to handle one more disappointment, failure, setback, upset. Reactions are difficult to control, but I do my best. My rational mind doesn’t have time to argue and tell me that this not only happens to other people, but it’s bound to happen to me again no matter what I do, how carefully I treat my electronics, and so on. Call it bad luck or the law of averages but eventually technology fails everyone, so I best just get used to it. And that, dear readers, is much easier said than done for me. |
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