Blog : my pain, my pride, these scars are mine

159 posts
5/25/2022 11:00 am

my pain, my pride, these scars are mine

While I’ve been recovering and rehabbing from this hip and pelvis travesty I have had bouts of doubt regarding my future as a porn guy. The pain was one thing I knew I’d get over eventually, and I made sure my penis was in good working order very early on, but the scars I knew I’d be stuck with worried me. How awful would they look? Would it distract from the beautiful cock action? What about cross dressing? Was there a chance I’d find a whole new audience who fetishized scars?

Lots of concerns, which is not very arousing, but simple biology kept me fairly horny during these past couple of months. Not only did I film a few solo scenes, I also spent a fair amount of time masturbating just to ease tension and boredom. It almost became compulsive for a while but I reigned myself in and got control. Now I’m mostly just jerking for the camera again, and once I’ve healed up enough to face fuck my sex slave ChrisSwallows things will shift into a higher gear. For right now though, I’m just trying to gain a bit of stability and confidence. As my body continues to heal and I grow stronger, so does my appetite. The scars won’t disappear but they’ll recede and hopefully not take away from the overall aesthetic. Making movies that focus on them is not just a necessity, it is also an attempt to accept and potentially begin to enjoy them. We’ll see how that goes as the healing and horniness continue.

Quite often I am the guy who sees beauty in imperfections. Some of the things past lovers found distasteful or embarrassing about themselves, I found sexy and arousing. With persistence I was able to flip the script for them and help them not only learn to accept their bodies but also love them. Perhaps I can do that for myself. I really don’t think the scars are that bad, and like I said, I think they’ll recede even more. I once thought I was involved in an industry that traded on imperfect beauty alone but long ago realized the truth is quite the opposite. Beauty and arousal are truly in the eye and crotch of the beholder. I don’t know how anyone could find burping or farting to be erotic but tons do, so why not a gaggle of perverts who like scarred up older men with beautiful cocks, etc?


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