Close Please enter your Username and Password
Reset Password
If you've forgotten your password, you can enter your email address below. An email will then be sent with a link to set up a new password.
Cancel
Reset Link Sent
Password reset link sent to
Check your email and enter the confirmation code:
Don't see the email?
  • Resend Confirmation Link
  • Start Over
Close
If you have any questions, please contact Customer Service
Blogs > HetFlex_K > Heteroflexible K

HetFlex_K 51M
159 posts
3/22/2024 11:15 am
here comes the rain again
Misophonia is an irrational response to specific sounds - a condition that for many is chronic and debilitating, and that I suffer from. When I hear the sound of a person chewing, the clicking of a pen, dripping of a faucet, chirping of a bird, hammering, bass from passing vehicles, and overly loud exhaust from passing vehicles it puts me in fight or flight. I want to “run and hide” from the noise or I want to attack it so it will cease. It’s an extremely difficult mental condition that gets worse every year.

While I was off grid last year I spent the entire time in a tent. When it rained - and it did so frequently - the sound of drops on the plastic roof went from calming to maddening. There were times when I literally felt I would lose my mind from the tap tap tap tap tap that seemed loud and endless. Fast forward to my current situation, living in a van, and you can maybe imagine the kind of noise 2 / two straight weeks of heavy rain did to the roof of it. It caused me immense stress unless I was sleeping, or could escape the vehicle and go into a building. That meant my time in the library was extended a bit, and I went grocery shopping more than I needed to, but then I had to return to the tap tap tap tap tap tapping. Playing<b> music </font></b>in my earbuds helped, as did watching movies. Any chance to escape helped immensely, but there was always the return to hell, looming.

The reason I write about this is because the rain is coming again. The forecast for the next few days is rain, rain and more rain. Knowing I have now added the sound of rain to my long list of audible tortures is depressing, especially since I feel like I’m going to be in this van for the rest of my life. Either I need to find my way out of it, and into a more traditional living situation, or I need to somehow learn to deal with the sound of drops of water ceaselessly tapping on the roof of my home. Isn’t that fucked up? How sad is a life when you have such a negative reaction to something so natural, and ultimately beautiful? Misophonia is terrible!

Become a member to comment on this blog


×
×