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The Reason People Seek or Accept Pain The Reasons People Seek or Accept Pain By CHIEFTAIN50, from FETLIFE, WITH HIS permission & APPROVAL. Questions come up in various forums all the time from people who are new to alternative lifestyles and are trying to understand the attraction of pain. I writing this to give an overview of the different motivations that cause people to seek or accept pain on a regular basis. By necessity, this will be only a brief overview. It would take several books to cover all of this in detail. First some logistical things: Since I straight and my experience is with women, that is the perspective from which I will write this. I have no reason to think that this would be any different for men, that’s just not where my experience lies. Next: To make this explainable, I will break things into discreet areas and motivations. Understand that this is a convention for the purpose of writing this. In the real world, you will not find hard lines separating the different areas. You will also find that many people are a combination of more than one category. Also: This will be about the basic motivations and the most common ways in which people express those motivations. People are amazingly creative; there are thousands of individual variations on this that I couldn’t even begin to cover. Use this as a starting point for understanding, with the knowledge that no one will ever know all that there is to know about this and that people will always surprise you with something new. Last: When I use the word “Spanking” I will be using it in a very broad sense. I am including strikes to the Butt, the Backs of the Thighs, the Insides of the Thighs, the Breasts, and the Pussy. I am also including all normal implements: Hands, Straps, Paddles, Canes, Floggers, Whips, etc. I will start with Masochists, because that is what most people think of when they think of someone who voluntarily receives pain. There are different kinds of masochism. Some masochists can actually experience pain as pleasurable and not painful, at least after they are some way into a session. Their neural system somehow switches the message so that they experience pleasure. Contrary to what vanilla people might expect, this ability is only present in a small minority of masochists. There is a variation of the previous type of masochists who experience pain as pleasure. These are the women who go into “Subspace”. These women don’t find the pain itself to be pleasurable, they experience pain the same as anyone else, but the pain causes them to go into an altered state of consciousness where they no longer feel the pain, and they find this altered state to be very pleasurable. Subspace is a fascinating and poorly understood area that could be the subject of a book all by itself. There actually appear to be several somewhat similar but distinct phenomenon that get lumped under the general heading of Subspace. One of the first things you will discover if you investigate Subspace is that people will disagree radically on what it is, how it is experienced and what triggers it. This is because they are not all experiencing the same thing. To my knowledge, no one has ever studied and explained all of the different states of being that fall under the heading of Subspace. It is sufficient for our purposes to say that they all involve some form of pleasurable altered state of consciousness where pain is not experienced in the normal way and in most cases is not perceived as pain at all. A critical side note: One has to be very careful when dealing with a woman in Subspace. Their judgement is suspended and they have little rational thought capability while in that state. They will not use a Safeword or even think of using one, no matter what is happening. Even if hard limits are being violated or serious injury is being sustained. The Top in this situation must be very careful to watch the bottom’s condition at all times because full responsibility for the bottom’s safety is in the Top’s hands while this is going on. I cannot stress this too strongly! This brings us to a somewhat milder version of the women who enter Subspace. That being the women who crave pain for the Endorphins that the body releases in response to it. There are a lot of women who feel the pain just like anyone else, but seek it for the natural drug high that they get from it. This is similar to the “Runner’s High” that athletes sometimes experience. It is caused by the body releasing natural pain killers, similar to Opiates, in response to the trauma. The resulting natural drug high can be emotionally addictive and can cause women to want to be spanked on a very regular basis so as to get their “Fix”. (It should be noted that there is some question scientifically about whether Endorphins are actually the cause here or whether it is other chemicals released by the body, but in any case, the effect is the same from the standpoint of what we are discussing.) There is some debate on whether Endorphins are also the source of Subspace, if it is just an extreme version of the normal endorphin high. It appears from my observations that this is quite possibly the cause of one of the altered states that are lumped under the general heading of Subspace, but certainly not all of them. We also have women who want to be spanked for the emotional catharsis it brings them. These women build up emotional stress as part of their daily lives, which they have only learned to release through tears. They become more and more cranky and stressed-out until given a sufficiently hard spanking to cause a really good cry, which releases all of the stress and leaves them feeling peaceful and relaxed. These women generally need much more frequent spankings during stressful times in their lives. Next we have the woman who feels the pain just like anyone else, but finds it to be very sexually stimulating. There are women who can have powerful multiple orgasms just from being spanked. There are also women who, while they don’t orgasm directly from the spanking, find it an incredibly powerful turn-on. They become massively aroused and have orgasms from the sex that follows it that are much stronger than what they can get from vanilla sex. For this group the pain is almost always preferred in areas that have strong connections to the nerve ganglion involved in sexual response. This will almost always include the “Sweet Spot” on the butt, and for some, will also include the pussy and/or breasts. Then we have women who equate punishment with being loved and cared for. They feel that being firmly disciplined shows that someone really cares about them and about what they do with their lives. For them, having a partner who is a stern disciplinarian and spanks them soundly when they have done something wrong is the proof that that person really loves them. Without the discipline, they don’t feel truly loved no matter how many other ways their partner may demonstrate their love. Along somewhat similar lines are women who are motivated by strong feelings of guilt or some personal inadequacy for which they feel they should be punished. These women frequently develop a pattern of this, and so they come back over and over for repeated punishments. They want pain precisely because they don’t like it. The more it hurts, the more they feel like they have atoned for whatever it is they think they did wrong or whatever personal failing they think they have. Now, we come to the group for whom pain is a test or a proof of strength. The main thing differentiating this group is that taking the pain is strictly something they do for themselves rather than to show devotion or obedience to someone else. The motivations for this group are very complex and are not the same for all members of it. The common thread is that they feel a need to be very “Strong” in their lives and being able to take and withstand pain is a way of showing themselves that they have the strength that they feel they need. There are deep and complex psychological reasons and drives at work for the “Proof of Strength” group that even they frequently don’t understand. This is probably the most psychologically complex group that you will encounter. A side note is that while many people in many of the groups like their bruises and marks, this group frequently takes that to an even higher level; wearing their marks as a kind of “Badge of Honor”, and taking great pride in them. For some members of this group, the marks will even be the most important part of the entire process from their standpoint. Now we move into women who seek pain for reasons other than the pain itself. These women frequently identify themselves as Subs and Slaves rather than Masochists or Painsluts. For them, what they are really seeking is a strong sense of being controlled. They have a need to be dominated, to give themselves up to a man and be controlled or owned by him in a very literal sense. I won’t go into all the motivations for this here, that would be a book all by itself. In this piece, I will only cover the parts of their motivations that apply primarily to pain. For an adult woman to have a man order her to remove her pants and underwear, exposing herself completely, and then bend over something and take a hard spanking from him, brings a feeling of being controlled or owned that many women find to be an incredibly intoxicating turn-on. It is an experience of being dominated that they may not have had since childhood, but that they deeply crave in their lives. For these women, the fact that they don’t like pain is a critical ingredient. If they enjoyed it, the control and domination would be minimal. Forcing someone to do what they already want to do, requires little control. But when a man can make them do things that they absolutely hate, simply because he tells them to do it, then there is a very strong level of control operating there. With women like this, it is sometimes better not to restrain them in any way for a spanking. Strange as it may seem, if they were tied they would not experience the same level of being controlled. Having to hold position and not move during their spanking, simply because they have been ordered to, gives some women a much greater feeling of being controlled than being tied up and spanked would. In a somewhat similar vein we also find women who hate pain, but want to take it to show their absolute devotion to their Master. They endure the pain as proof that they will do anything for him, no matter what it is or how much it hurts. Both of these groups actually seek out pain precisely because they don’t like it at all. In fact, the more it hurts and the less they like it physically, the more they like it on an emotional and symbolic level. These women will come back over and over again for something that they really don’t like, because it is fulfilling very strong needs for them on other levels. Last, we come to women that “Regress” psychologically to a younger age. Being spoken to and treated like a , and then punished like one is part of the process of regression for many of them. The reasons for this need or desire to be younger are frequently tied to a feeling of being unable to take care of themselves or of feeling unsafe by themselves. They want to go back to a time in their lives when life was simpler and they felt safer because someone in “Authority” had control over them and was responsible for their care and safety. It is in this group that you often find ‘Littles” and 24/7 slaves. This piece has, by necessity, been a rather quick overview of a very complex subject. I think however, that I have covered enough territory to help people who are new to all of this understand the most common motivations that cause people to seek or accept pain. Also, remember that these categories are not mutually exclusive; many people will be a combination of more than one category, and many will show unique ways of expressing their needs in their particular areas of focus. Chieftain50 |
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Hopefully and once and for all, this writing makes an end to all the bullshit that is going about, what being A MASOCHIST is, means... What makes someone a masochist... We dont do nature versus nurture, because for every argument against it, there is a opposite to find... endless going around of nothingness. Little do they know.... It is what it is. Your nature, you are wired that way. Vanilla is just not your path.
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8/30/2018 9:21 am |
Pleasure from pain is at the root of all masochism.
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Rosa Thank you for two VERY informative posts! I hope many learn from them .... A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw Jenny
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1uncommondom;  .
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jenny, welcome, Yes, i hope that too, but you know what they say, dont you? those who really, really need this, read this, dont..... sighs, aah, well you cant blame a girl for trying? dont you? 
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7/25/2020 4:22 pm |
Very good post.
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