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It is about -othe other-. I cant say this enough, it seems. When i get into a conversation with a man, i always know, it is all about thém while, it should be all about mé... within two or messages. it is in their style of writing, it is in their not willing answer my questions, BUT< demand i answer any and all question they have for ... ( and those questions, all evolve around kinky fuckery) with some minor side steps my personal life, but most of the time they dont remember those (very important answers) and only remember what i told about my sexual preferences... I dont do that no more, IF you have no personal interest in whó i am? I, for sure, are not telling you anything intimate about my being submissive/ masochistic, and what thát means to mé. Because you are not worthy of that knowledge. Show interest in mé, as a whole person - not as a fetish dispenser. It always comes down to what they want from me, never about what they have to offer mé. my neigbour has a very bussy job, she is living alone, has a very big demanding family, so she has not much time to clean out the leaves in her garden. For her, it is very important that her garden looks neat. When she comes home, it is already dark. I, on the other hand, have a sort of ecological wild garden, i leave the leaves lying around so the little animals, funges and what not, can eat and find protection against the winter times... I do keep my path clean, sort of....  So, the other day, [ it is about them/ the other ] i was bussy in my front garden and noticed she did not cleaned away the leaves, yet So, i cleaned some of the leaves on her part of the path and some other parts too. It is all about - the other - Now, i dont have a love relation with her, but i like to help especially when her family is demanding stuff from her.... I dont say a thing about it, i dont need to be praised, I just do!. It is about - the other-. thát is a mind set. my submissive mindset, if you like to call it that... As a Dominant has such a mindset too. it is about the submissive, his care, his guidance, his making her into a better version of herself... without her knowing she was able to make that happen.. He can help her make that happen. It is -about the other- | whén you want a relationship. Not some sex fuck kinky contact, once in while, to get your fluids pumping.... When you just want to pump some body fluids, who cares who she ís, as a person? as long as she does, what you want, when you want it, RIGHT? Does that sound dominant? Not to mé. To me that sound like a sexkinky fuckery player. Or, just an other selfcentred, egoistic prick? So, this *** contact? ***  was just an other learning moment, for me.I am thankful for all the learning moments those wankers make possible for me, to grow and know. Now, i would like to meet a man, who is really, really interested in mé, in having a 24/7, TAT, powerdynamic, with the kinky sex fun too. BUT thát is NOT the fundament of the whole contact/ dynamic. The one thing is kink orientated The other thing is relation/ dynamic orientated. Thát is the difference. (most of those wankers dont even know, there is a difference!) Love to call themselfs Master of the Universe, Lord, know what... And, all lack soo much substance.... |
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Ofcourse, it is not all a one way street. It is not all altruism, subs have needs and wants too.... every submssive has needs and wants, and she.he needs (!) them to be fulfilled, in one way or the other... to be able to grow, too To be able to feel loved, cherised and cared for...
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The one thing about the Mistress I currently serve is that she is always interested in my day. She wants to know what I bought when I went shopping, what did I do in my courtyard......it goes on and on. It's not a matter of control, it's a matter of showing her interest in me.
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A position well thought out and clearly explained. AND 100% correct. The lack of understanding of a power dynamic is disturbing. In fairness, if someone is new to this kind of exchange they will be lack the experience but they need the maturity to be able to learn. To your point - It takes two to tango. May you find that for which you search and get what you deserve. Mojo
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Rosa Dear it's really good you are not as shallow minded as ME 😏
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Great post rosa... It doesn't take long to spot these so-called Dom's in conversations... The constant same questions, "what do you want"?, "what's your kink"?. Usually before they even ask my name! Give me a fucking break...  ~ Physical strength is measured by what we carry. Inner strength is measured by what we can bear. ~
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brandy, NO! You are not shallow. You just have other goals, witnin the SM community?  or something like that..It is what you want and that you/ who ever that is, \ is clear and honest about that. Most socalled "dominants" , dont even know the difference between kinky fuckery, BEDROOM SEX DOMINANCE, just for the fun of the two,Or a real life build connection, where the compatibility is far beyong your sexual preferences, but entails your whole life... They are totally sex/their dick orientated.
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pac, Indeed. this time this person, i dont know one bit about, wants me to "accept him".... upfront! Is he totally out of his mind! or what! What kind of utter bullshit is thát?
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drmgirl! YEs! Yes!Yes! exactly thát, have interest in the other persons her daily life! Every single bit of it! Because thát makes you, YOU. I am soo happy for you! 
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Mojo, Indeed, the willingness to learn is one important thing, for wanting to build a power dynamic. Alas, most just want to play role the power dynamic, and dont understand it takes more, much more, to really build such a bond. They are just on here, for the kinky fuckery, bedroom sex dominance, i dont have a problem with that, at all. I have a problem with those persons who pretend to be a Dominant-Master and just want to f8ck me, and call that a powerdynamic. Just know what you have to offer, and especially, what you DONT or CANT offer. lying wont get anyone into my pants!
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