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What is wrong with this ad? I read this, some days ago. Just checking the ads, alt thinks will match with my search..... Well, Well, Well... This person, for sure has NO IDEA about HIS responsiblity as a 'dom'.... He was advertising himself as a FWB/wanting a CNC something....  There was an other thing he advertised with... i forgot and cant find the ad back.... If you, as a submissive, also dont know a thing about the possible emotional impact on YOU, you are in big shit!! It is totally impossible, to be a FWB and to want to have a CNC dynamic, in my view of a M/s SM/ dynamic. To have a CNC, you first need to know each other, on all aspects of his/ her life. Mental, Physical, Family background, Childhood experiences, etc etc, BEFORE you get naked! So being a fuck buddy ánd wanting a CNC? Totall madness! You have the RIGHT to know everythings about him, you want to know, about his "experience" Ask open question, dont give him all your knowledge. Ask what went wrong in a scene? If he tells you, nothing ever went wrong? RUN! He is lying, every dominant did make mistakes, It can be small things, like "forget" to remove the clothspins on time... Leaving you with nerve numbness, or lasting nerve damage, for the rest of your life.... Or, with candle play, not knowing about burn wounds, if you use the wrong kind of candles, or holding the candle too close to the skin.. too long... I am for totall open communication, also during a scene... , for the dominant, to check in, on the submissive and for the submissive, to keep the dominant informed how you are doing, how you are feeling, what is happening with you... physical/ metally.... emotionally.. You dont need to discuss, every move, but you need to keep each other informed. The trafic light system is good, it does not surpace normal communication... you are the only one, who can keep YOU safe! It is not only the dominant who has to be responsible, knowledgeable, The submissive has her own responsibility. as a grown- up, an adult. This counts too, for only sex/ bedroom/ play 'dominance'.... FWB..... is like something casual, when the both of you, are in for some sexy kinky games, you message each other and you meet for some intimate "fun". CNC.... is taking on the responsibility, for her wholeness, her health, her safety, on every aspect {not just the sexy, horny gametime} the both of you agreed to give her /his controle over to that other person... Reading profiles, is such a treat!  
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Anyway, there might be people, who think the same thing about my profile... 
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very well said
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Having just looked up what "CNC" means, in my opinion, it is barking mad. There's a local phrase in the swinger community: alles kann, nicht muss. It means that anything is permitted, but nothing is expected. The same sort of concept out to apply to BDSM. Even wider aspects can be agreed beforehand - if the "sub" doesn't want to know what is coming, it can be selected from a repertoire of agreed scenarios beforehand. Not everybody invoved in BDSM is entirely sane!
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Raven, Oh? Is it? It is a way of having a relation, wich is build on 100 % open communication, totall honesty, talking, talking, talking with each other, there are a lot of couples who have build their relation on that CNC concept, because they are not happy in an egalitarian vanilla relation. Yes, i know that saying in the swingerscene, wich is picked up, by the play doms... I think, that saying is down right barking mad. There is a need for taking on responsibility, when you participate in a D/s or M/s contact, being it kinky sex in the bedroom or a full power dynamic relation. You are clearly talking scene play, this is about power dynamic stuff, Not about selecting a scene out of some repertoire..... That is a totall other ball game. You can not compare swingers/ bedroom play tops, with a power dynamic, 24/7 non egalitarian relation. Oh, i knów there are a lot of folks, hiding in the scene, who are very, very dangerous. not sane at all Thanks for your viewpoint.
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camperdude. thank you,
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I think for most people its like fishing.....throw out the lure and see what you catch
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drmgirl, Hahaha,Yes, and when "they" catch something, they dont know how to behave, or plan of act.... Are at a loss, what to do next? That counts for most, not all, on here...
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1/23/2022 5:37 pm |
there are lots of fakes here that haven't a clue what being dominant or submissive is. These fakes are only looking for pussy and they think submissive means easy pussy. Of course there are those men that hate women and want to hurt them. Probably because they have mommy issues, and have lived in the basement for years jacking off and dreaming about being a man. I'll try not to get banned from your blog. I have a habit of just being me. Most people would rather I be part of their ego support team rather than calling things how I see it.
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rosa I am sorry but I don;t know what "CNC" is, Please? I agree - the sub also has responsibility BEFORE getting involved! A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw Jenny
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jenny, consent, is what you give to the dominant, when you both engage in some scene. When you both discussed the why, how and what, hard limits, soft limits, The submissive nééds to give full and enthousiastic consent before a scene/ play can take place. Consent-non- consent, as i understand it, means, in a 24/7 or TAT, or how ever someone wants to call their dynamic, Is the rule were the submissive, or slave, is not able to say no to her dominant Master. This is not only about playing a scene, but this entalls every aspect, both did agree about. This can be, about (toxic) family contact, or spending money, or the colour of her/ his hair, or her/his job... He/ She, the dominant has the full controle over every aspect of the slaves life, within their own bounderies. That is one way some can have a CNC. If the dominant does not care for controling her wage, he wont. If the slave wants to keep controle over her children, it will be a part, the Master has no controle over.... It is all about negotiation, about what is essential important, or what is not. And if those aspects are agreed on, between the two persons... Also during the negotiated scene, play, the submissive has a say, responsiblitiy too. Doms are no mind readers.
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alwaysassertive, Agree with your view, about some people on here, and their inner /mental problems, the fakes, the wannebees, cleuless vanillas, and the mommy issue guys and galls. too. Há, banned? I dont do support systems, groups, i am me. Not many people appreciate my being blunt.  Being blunt can be very refreshing! While still respecting the person.....?!
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