Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > rosaenaluin > My Blog |
|
I dont care....., I dont care, how much "experience" you have in the field of SM. I am interested in how you learned the skills of whip yielding, candle play, belt use and so on. Your "experiences" were with other person, not with mé. So, your "experiences",... sure.... Those people are not mé, you dont knów mé. You dont know what i need or want, you dont know how being a masochiste works for me and how? You have totally no idea, who i am and how things work for me. "Experiences?" sure... Show me how you handle a whip, on a pillow Show me, on your own skin, how you work with candle play/wax. And now, show me how you handle the emotional part of the D/s. How emotional sane and safe you are. If you are emotional available. Thát i find much more interesting then your "experiences" To me, sm and dominance is not something you DO. SM and DOMINANCE is something you ARE. iT IS ALWAYS ON, in the back ground. As my submission / surrender is always on, in the background. It is something I AM. I cant change that, without voilating my core being. There are not many people around, who can trigger that feeling, that inner need. Most who do the play act dominance make me feel very uncomfortable, nervous, upset even, sometimes. My domina friend, she knows she can activate that feeling... Some words, framed in a certain style... triggers sometimes something... It is not negative, it just is. She also knows, i am 1hunderd procent hetero.... And without a relation, it is just a play act and wont ever work, for me. There is nothing to gain for me, out of some sexual game playing. It is not real, there is no real connection, to me, it is very superficial. It is not about the bodily statisfaction, to me, it is al about the emotional connection. Him understanding my submissive mindframe, my<b> masochism. </font></b>Those who wanted to "play" with my body, never had any understanding about what it all entail, being a masochiste. Just some slaps on the ass, yes? that will do. Or pinching the nipples, yes? Or, their one time favorite, slapping the face, no? That is all it takes... NO? Hmmm.... NO connection what so ever, no understanding, what so ever. They never took the time to educate themselfs, about anything SM wise. Our digged their own mind, as in why and how this was.. originated from...? within. it was a role, a play, a game, fun. I cant stand that word; fun, in connection to SM. Sure you can have a great time with your D or M, (f/m) But fun? It must be mé. Beause, as a masochiste, i want to "suffer" for him. Give him my all! Want to endure as much as i pysical can, for him. After we esthablished a real deep connection. Because, him being a sadists, he nééds that.... too... as i do,... his sadism.... hmm... STrange? isnt it? Try to explain thát to those vanilla play boys? For sure, they did call me sick and perverted. Whahahaha! Were afraid of me, and the depth/ power of my wants and needs.... Dominance, to me, is about the need to want to lead the relation, ( her) because that makes him feel good, it is in his character. Not some sociopath with womens issues, but a real man, who loves submissive women/ a woman / HIS woman.  Just some random thoughts.... about dominance, sadism, masochism, surrender.. |
|||
|
I always wonder if the things i write will resonate with someone, on here... If what i write down, makes sense to others, (like me.... ?) I know it makes sense to me! 
| ||
|
Thankyou! The delving into your thoughts, emotions and actions are causing me to go’further back’ in myself . With my limited education about Sm, I find myself grateful to you for your stimulating thoughts as well as admitting that I feel a tug, a huge one, one moment it isthe desire to lead and the other to follow. I am not explaining myself well at all so will just say my reading and studying will have to be expanded. I tend to be a bit skeptical about a lot of information that is projected to/at me and will continue looking for a source that provides accurate knowledge and strikes a chord inside of me. Apologies for the rambling. I don’t think I explained my self at all. I will simply thank you for your writing and hope to see more.
| ||
8/4/2022 4:48 am |
Experience tells you which end of the whip to use . . Knowing your masochist is so much more than that. If you think she's just about pain your lack of knowledge is showing. But make no mistake, she will walk through hell itself to hear two words, good girl.
| ||
8/4/2022 5:55 am |
I took lessons on using a whip and also learned from practicing. using things on a real person is very different than practicing on a pillow for sure. I am confident in all that i do with a real person. I am a switch so still learning all the time
| ||
8/4/2022 7:41 am |
Well written rose and you some excellent points as well. I PONDERED ON A FEW OF YOUR POINTS. TS
| ||
|
Every person is different. The Dominant has to start slow with each new sub and gradually increase the intensity and amount of strikes over time to find the sub's tolerance level. They can't just take the sub's "word" about what they can handle and dive into the deep end.
| ||
|
Just as your Domina friend can activate feelings, I have found that in someone that I connect with very deeply. It is something that can't be explained, it's just felt.
| ||
|
ron, Sure, that is your view, and that is alright. BUT, you totally mis the point of my blog...... Never mind.
| ||
|
hardtop4you, One size fits all? All submissive are the same, have a hive mind? I dont know.....? She gives her hunger/ lust for pysical sensations to the D - Sadist, because she also knows, it will make him very happy, he needs it..... Just as much as she does, to feel fulfilled. It is from within, from her soul, not as some act, role play..... Thank you, for your reaction.
| ||
|
Alapbe, It is just how i experienced this all, my view, i am not the BDSM BIBLE. Most just want the kinky role play/ sex.. till next time....with a minimum of emotional connection.... They are role play orientated, they DO, act dominance, sex orientated. There ARE not dominants, they role play.... I am relation D/s, Power Exchange/ Authority Transfer orientated, there is a huge difference of approach between those two....
| ||
|
bipanty, sure! By training on a pillow, you at least can hold the same place, (during a scene) while you use the whip. And dont hit her /his kidney, liver, backbone, etc... Most just dont have a cleu, and make huge mistakes. Sure, the interaction between the two is some new demension brought to the scene. Wich asks totall other qualities of you, as a human being.... D, or switch... So you know both sides of the lash? As a switch.... Great you feel confident, in how you act with your (lay) parther(s). That makes a hell of a difference, is you can back that up, with practical knowledge.
| ||
|
TS, thank you, 
| ||
8/4/2022 4:01 pm |
I am often torn between the different sides of me that are not always engaged in a collaborative effort. I am a Dominant, a Sadist, a Daddy Dom, an abuse survivor, an ex-gang member, a former ordained minister turned atheist, a control freak in vanilla life and one I've come to understand does not always treat others in appropriate ways. I NEED an emotional connection to a partner to engage in some of the more edgy play. I don't feel confident in my ability to properly read my partner if I don't have a certain level of familiarity beyond "Hello!" I don't feel confident in their ability to properly advise me if things are not going as expected. Now, that doesn't mean I don't engage in play with casual partners. I'm happy to do so. I've taken volunteers when giving a training session at an event or perhaps just a play party. But it won't be on the same level as a partner with whom I've created a connection. And sex? Well... That's a whole other thing... I don't do casual sex... I mean, sure... I was 20 once. I have had casual sex. But for me with all the childhood trauma I experienced I've learned that is a bit of a minefield. Sex is great, but casual sex just wasn't worth the risks. I've strayed a bit off the point here but just a note to say thank you for your post and rest assured there are some of us on the other side of that implement who feel the same.
| ||
|
FleetingThoughts, Hmm, in a lot of ways we look very similar, i think... In experiences, in way of lving, the choises you made, and i made... Been in a sect, volenteer, at first, got out just in time, with the help of friends. Radical left wing political actions against injustice, political or economical. A middle way is somewhat unknown territory for me... I know how to act civilised.. the middle way....
| ||
|
FleetingThoughts, I was not ready yet! pushed the wrong button. Yes, especially in edge play, wich i fancy very much, you need the deeper connection, You nééd to really knów your partner, both ways.. And, indeed, ive been 20 too, casual sex, was just that, a physical exchange of body fluids, with a very good outcome... cough..  BUT< sm = NOT SEX to me. SM is about surrender on a much more, much deeper level, then when you just casual play with someone. Because my feelings run deep, i cant "just casual play", with someone i dont really know and not sure if i even maybe would like him, as a person..? it is NOT, NEVER, about the physical orgasm. How can i trust someone, when he only knows my sexual needs??? It is NOT about sexual needs, I can have much better orgasm, on my own.. being vulnerable is not going to happen, with casual play. it is a working deal, to me. You do mé, and i will do you, so we both get our kicks fixed... Not my way. Mutual masturbation, to me. ( how can somone, who does not know mé, in all my ways, give the orgasm what makes my toos curl....? He cant, it is superficial, a show, an act.... . About childhood trauma, we were with 5, and we could protect each other, sometimes, and we also talked about what did happen, and most of the 5 took some serious deep psychological therapy. To let go of the anger, the fear, the missery. To understand, it was never against us, not personal, we had no fault, or cause in this....... This is a whole lot, you triggered that in me... I recognise a lot in your life story. Thank you! for the trust to tell me all this. It is sometimes, almost impossible to explain this to other sm people, because to most it is just sexual/ physical.../ fantasy. They cant even grasp what i tell them. Or they are afraid of the depth of all this, sighs....... Thank you, _][_ NAMASTE.!
|
 |
 |
 |
| Become a member to comment on this blog | ||
 |
×
×