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Is it important? This question just popped up, in my mind after this conversation with a man. Is it important to "be in love" with your D or s? Or is it more about building that bond and finding love, acceptance, understanding? I just dont know. i am not someone who is very bussy with "being in love" I am more in wanting to get to know that person, ALL about him, also the bad parts, and feel safe with him, and want to be with him. "in love"? This man told me, he wanted to feel the butterflys again. Wanted to meet very soon, did not take any time to get to know the other Just the "klick"., was his goal.... Or so it seem... That is an other thing, i never understood, How you mean, 'klick"? You mean, you are projecting all your fantasies onto the other person>?? And "fall in love" with that self made image? Not the real person? I dont get that. Or, you want to see her, so you can make up your mind, if you can get horny on that persons outside appearance? How? is that working? After i asked this man, about this butterfly and how that worked for him, if that was not a projection of his feelings? On to that woman? How he could "feel butterflys" when he did not take the time, to really get to knów her? he disappeared....  Whát did i do?  I am much more interested in Love him Bé part of his life. Make his life easier. Care for him. |
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I was not hostile in this conversation, at all I was just curious how that worked for him?! When dealing with loser no-nos- i can become very hositle, ( i did that, in the past.... waste of energy, time and oxygen) but most of the time they are not worth the effort...So? What did i do, (wrong?) ?
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you did nothing wrong Rosa sounds like the guy likes that “new” feeling w being w somebody new it quickly wains & they’re off for the next conquest...it takes all kinds of weirdos to build a village!
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He was a golfer, meaning he wants to put his balls in as many holes as possible with the fewest strokes... what he sounds like to me...
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I think love comes after making a deep conncetion.
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Love will either grow or not. When I'm vetting, I want someone I think I can grow to love. I don't want an automaton relationship. Maybe some can have that "no feelings" relationship, but that's too cold for me.
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Sounds like the men you speak with are not prepared to converse with a lady that is educated in the lifestyle. You are not wrong to know exactly what you want out of a D/s relationship (if that is what you want) and it sounds like the men approaching you are kinky perverts and not Doms.
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"bdsmDOMdaddy, Aha, so he was an other player, as i call those men...?! What a waste, for him, to chase after that feeling, again and again It has nothing to do, with (wanting to be with) the person, at all. How cruel....
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likeithor, You made me laught, golfer?? Huh? LOL great comparison!
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drmgirl, Yes! my thought too!
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rondiri, I understand, getting to know each other is also about accepting the differences and loving the similarities? And knowing there is a big base to build that relation/ D/s up. compatiblity is key.
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blossom, Yes, what i call players, changing from partners more often then they change their underwear.
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