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Books, reading, Books, learning, I bought this book It is about power dynamics At least, that is in the title. I did read some, here and there out of this book That got my intrigued.... I love being intrigued, by people, or books, or anything, that makes me wonder... So, i started reading this book, in a more serious way Got to a chapter about dating it is a book writtin from the Gay Leather Orientation of SM and d/s. He advised to just 'shop around' have lots of dates with this one and the other. ëxperience this fetish and that. have fun!, so to say. I was appalled.... Why would i wanne do that? With, sort of, totall strangers??? How about MY safety? With those totall strangers? That was what got me burned, in the first place, because i took "the casual road". I DOnt want to travel thát road again! I mean, no string attached sex? Sure, i did that, in the 70/80.... Alright, that i can see.. as sort of safe...ish.... "it is JUST sex". BUT, with things like SM in a d/s? Even, if it is "just" a play contact, or something more?? I need that connection, to be able to submit or surrender... It is not a shopping list kind of action, to me?! Oh, you like whips too? Great lets rock and roll! Hell no! I need to knów that person first, trust is very, very important to me. Patient too. How can i trust someone, when all i know about that person is, that he likes the same things..? When i dont know anything about his personality? Alright, the<b> author </font></b>also said, you need to negotiate with each other. The whole orientation was only on the play contacts.. "having fun".....   amp;So, i was a bit upset about that part of the book. Found that part rather shallow. Partners in Power is the title. |
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I will have to (re-) evaluate the whole book, after i read it all.....
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Like you said, safety is the most important thing!
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I like your take on the knowing first and trust. I always say there has to be a connection for me .  
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Lmao!...you crack me up Rosa!
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electrosex, Yes, the promiscuitity was and, maybe/ Is still going on! Beeen withness of that scene, too, in Holland. Ah, well, you must know, too, that we peoples  , allways have that idea, it wont happen to you, us, about getting AIDS> , or pregnant, or R^-a*p*e*d.... or in a bad accident....Untill it happens! Thank you, i did not have one thought about you, being homophobic, or stereotyping people, thank you   I know a lot of deep in the closet, gays in this shit hole of a place, married too..... I cant judge, i am not in their shoes.....
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electrosex, It always feels good, when you feel you are still "in the market", with your leatherjacket! 
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rosa You are very wise to stick with what you want!  A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw Jenny
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