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SAD and well meant friends? SAD is actually a lack of some brain chemicals "normal" brains, of other peoples, do not get this. They might not really like the autunm and winter, but they can handle it maybe even enjoy it... Are maybe a bit slow, tired BUT nothing mental So there is this disbalance in my brains. This starts, reveals it, during puberty WIth the change of hormones in the brains, and girls become women, menstrual cycle, getting breast, hair in strange places..... So, while as a girl you are coping with these big changes, i did get the SAD symptoms to deal with, too! It felt like my body was betraying me. It was, or had nothing to do, with who i am. It felt like a fucked up, sick trick!! So, around 14 i got to deal with this, every FFF winter again! I always, all those years, did search for what it was, talked to my aunt, because she was a stable source of knowledge about the family history... Year, after year, i went to my doctor, explained the why and how And every FF year they send me away! Only after i threated to commit suicide , this doctor send me to a psychologist.  I got to this doctor, i get into her chamber, sit down, i am almost on the verge of tears...... I telll her just a very little, small part of how i feel, every autunm, winter time again... She looked at me, told me; girl, there is nothing wrong with you. It are those doctors they have been wrong, to try to put you on antidepression "medication" Thát is the worst to do! With SAD people! For the first time, i felt accepted. Understood. a very heavy weight fell of my shoulders At the same time, i did became very, very angry with all those lazy fuck upped doctors!! How in hell, did they dare to act like that!! FF criminals!! Ingorance is no bliss!! GGGgggrrrrr So, i had a name to my symptoms I finally got to understand what happened in my body, brain. Stil no cure, but this was a start. Then i became part of a rollor coaster trip to all kind of tests.... I was tired like hell, because those tests needed to be done, in the midst of my SAD, dragge meself to the hospital ... Test, test test... And, then came the desillusion. There is a very, very small percentage of people, who dont react to the daylight therapy - lamps!! I fellt soo teriible sad, down, when i got that outcome!! MAD, too, again!! I just want it to end it all!! ENOUGH!! So, after some days of very heavy depression.... feeling like i was with my back against, up to the wal, nowere to go! Nowhere to heal, too I put myself, together again, Researched all and everything i could to find some kind of medication, herbal, anything!! Tried soo many new supplements, every time there was something new on the market, i bought it, tried it. I really made some companies rich!! N.O.T.H.I.N.G. W.O.R..K.E.D! And now i have these.. well, they call themselfs my friends......  Wanting to 'heal me' from my SAD. I can not get more angry, when such ignorance twits, think with their microscopic small brains, that they can cure this!! I am on the ferge of explosion!! And, i did explain to them, how SAD works, brainwise, mental wise... Murderous angry!! How dare they! Anyway.... I decided to ignore them. This hurts me, you know? I became fulnerable, to explain all this stuff and this is their reaction>? To show all my pain, about this... Years ago... and now this?? Yeah, Yeah, dont come telling me, they mean well! Nó! They dont! This is all about them, not mé!!  Soo many people, "all meant well", trying, without really understanding, to "cure" me. Before long, they want to pray for my healing!! god forbid! Real sunshine, is all that works on my brain unbalance. My brain does not go, for the chemical, artificial 'sun'light of those daylight lamps When i was in Portugal and Spain too, worked there, also in what is called winter time I never had any symptoms of this SAD, ever!! I was, mé, again! So well balanced, so full of energy, ever sooo happy! Mé - not this SAD person, who is very alien to my core being. |
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Sighs, ignorance is no bliss...  You cant see this on the outside, SO, people tell me, how happy they are when the winter is coming on. It makes me want to murder them!! Tell me, dont do so histerical, dramatical, it is just wintertime, the sun wil come back, again. I tell you; axe murderer!!  Like any other kind of depression, most people are rude in their reaction to this, also most of the time afraid too... Maybe it could happen to them, too! Have to stay away, you never know, it might be contageous  amp;
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Well, it sounds like you have an understanding of what's going on. Now , with that knowledge you can move forward. Best wishes.
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happy blogging
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rosa I don't know what to saty except I hope writing about this helps! A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw Jenny
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In Arizona, US, we get sunlight about 300 days a year. I'm glad you found the right doctor to let you know what's going on.
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I think Portugal is the way out, dear Rosa and I keep my fingers crossed that all work out well and as planned for you ❤
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Sad happens to everyone at times for a lot of reasons. I think it's like a storm, you just have to ride it out and wait for it to pass. And it will. Just don't dwell on it.
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Sophie, Thank you, you are absolutely right,
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SMC, You too, i hope...?
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jenny, Thanks, it did, 
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casio, Thank you.
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Boh, Ooh! mAN!!!  that is the kind of place i need to be, in Portugal/ Spain there is 361 days of sunshine!!
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Ex, Yes, that is the plan! working at it!!
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