Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > rosaenaluin > My Blog |
|
Family matters, Our aunt, who saved us, is very sick She is getting more and more demented... So much so, that it was not longer healthy and safe, for the family to let her stay in her house. She was living on her own, in a house attached to the house of her and in law...... A very big farm house. They call that kangaroo living... in the pouce of the family, in the close care of the family and still remain, some<b> privacy... </font></b>of their own.... Now, she is sort of living, in a care home..... I visited her, last Tuesday...It broke my heart, to have to see her like that... Some moments, she was really there, and enjoyed the fact that i visited her. The next moment, she was almost in tears, because she did not understand why she was in that house? It felt like a punishment, of some sort.... So confused...... It was terrible to see her in such a state..... When my daddy was getting more and more demented, he too, went to such a care home..... He too, did not understand why he was there...... Totally confused, telling me, they kept him there, he could not walk out, . he could not go away... i must not talk to loud, because they kept an eye on him.... So sad... so terrible.. so. He was in the army, during the war in Indonesia... he never talked about that time.... In the end, i told him, that if he wanted to go, "be free" he just could go and die in his sleep..... He got that message loud and clear. Because this is my aunt, i cant tell her that, it is up to her to say something like that, If she wants that.... I dont think, my niece is able to do that... That moment, is totally about their happiness, not yours at all. Sometimes family are selfish and dont want that family member, mother, to finish it here. They want to keep them "alife", for them, not for the sick persons best interest.... And, i do understand that, too... I can 'see' when they had enough, and need help... so to say... My sister is also not well, she is showing signs of something going on in her brain.... I really dont know, how and what... some sort of disconnection going on.. . I go visit her in a week or two and will see how she acts then... How bad it really is, because i was messaging her, and her reactions were very strange, just like she was typing to an other drummer, so to say... Just off.... strange... She never behaved like that before.... I have a heavy heart, it scares me to death, if my sister is losing it, too.... sighs... sad, very sad.. scary too....  And there is nothing i can do, to make it better....... or different, or.....? Alt is telling me, i cant post this, because of war arms and god knows what kind of bullzhit they think of, this time... |
|||
|
Sad times......
| ||
|
sometimes there is nothing we can do. my father was much like this, while living in an assisted care facility. Our wish to have them remain with us as we remember them often over rides God's will. I finally told my father to be at peace. He passed a week later, luckily I was there holding his hand. Best to you and your sister.
| ||
|
I was the one that told my Mom it was okay to go......I feel this very deeply. Sending hugs to you and your family.
| ||
|
I have read what you wrote last night, Rosa. It was hard for me to read, and I didnt kniw what to say. It must be very sad and tough to be there, to watch and see their changes and suffering and not being able to do anything. I always say that the only thing I would wish for me is to remain conscious and sensible till the end and to be able to take care of myself without anyones help... I hope nothing serious with your sister, Rosa. Fingers crossed it was just an episode 
| ||
|
bound, Thank you, Yes, i was with my daddy too, when he decided to move on..... when he let go..... It is the feeling of totall helplessness... that is killing me, emotional....
| ||
|
ExName, Thank you , Yes, my other, older sister, did make up her will, so when/ if she get demented, they will give her something, to finish this living.... because, she too, cant handle this situation very well... When my daddy got dementia, it all went very fast, in the end, so that was actually very fine, for him too, i believe.... The emotional break down, comes later... I hope it was an episode, too, with my sister, it was such a strange conversation.. It keeps coming back in my mind..... just as if she missed the meaning of the conversation, about what was written.... signs.... . I see her in a day or two..... In both cases, it was a shock to me, how life just went on, while i was in mourning... strange, i know....  My life was at a stand stil and everyone around me was bizzy and doing all kind of socalled "important things"..... job, driving a car, shopping... The meaning of live or living...?! 
| ||
|
When I was working undercover as a cab driver there was a call on the screen, "elderly gentleman need ride at nursing home xxx quebec st. Pull up at North side and he will come out window. He did and he gave me the name and address of the nursing home he just left, about once a week. They never did find out how he was making the call to the cab company. The nursing home had changed ownership and name but the sign on the front was still the same so taking a cab to the right nursing home was important after hearing the nurses answer the phone with the wrong name. I always drove him around the block and never charged a fare for 3 years about once a week. When I showed up at his funeral the nurses insisted on washing and waxing my car.
| ||
|
joseph, Oh, i remember, you told this story before. it was a great thing, to do, for this elderly man. This story brings tears to my eyes... Thank you, for giving me, the believe that there are still good people, on this planet. Alas, my aunt is too weak to walk away... Too confused to be able to call a cab..... or anything like that... Or i have to smuggle her out of there... and then, what? I cant take care of her, on my own... ?! The whole family will explode on me! How do i dare....? That too, is no solution.
| ||
|
We should spend some time with them before they leave life. I am really sorry to hear that. Greetings to you and all your family members, and good luck in your good deeds.
| ||
|
drmgirl I hear you, i hear you. That is what i did with my daddy, too..... In the end, he was soo restless.... so agitated.... as if he was 'searching' for something, someone...? Maybe i can visit my aunt an other time, alone, and tell her that, maybe she understands......
|
 |
 |
 |
| Become a member to comment on this blog | ||
 |
×
×