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Men! Explain! Please! Woman are allowed to give their ideas too.  Sometimes, i really dont understand other peoples motivations for their behaviour. As with my evil neighbours.. Why? What is their inner motiivation, what kind of satisfaction do they get, out of being just nasty, mean, sick fuck up people? How can that be a motive for your life? I just dont get that. I mean, i dont care one thing, about what my neighbours do, or dont do I hope they are happy and have a good life. I dont care if they do the laundery only on monday or on sunday, or on any other day. Who cares? Or what ever else they do.. The same, with some men. What do they think(?) to win, with being soo terrible lazy, to not put any effort in a conversation, for instance... What? Is their inner motivation, if they have any...? Wo wants a lazy partner/ lover, anyway? I dont! As if being lazy is a real great trait? Something, they can be proud of? I really dont get that. I, very much dislike lazy men. A vanilla male friend, told me, that are 18 year old boys in a mens body. They will never learn or grow and most probabebly have also a lot of womens issues. Are not able to grow, to get used to a changing society, with changin expectations, in behaviour of men and women, alike.. I think, i have to agree with this friend. Or, are they just vanillas who dont have any idea about the whole other rules/ structure of a D/s dynamic...? Think, they can behave in the vanilla way, of trying to find a girlfriend... to have some kinky fuckery? And call that SM? or "the lifestyle"? |
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And, maybe, i sometimes overthink things? Or not!
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Most men, especially younger ones, don't understand the D/S dynamic at all. They may THINK they do, because they've watched or read some erotica, but they don't really understand it, in part because it requires, a you noted, a lot of work, both in study, contemplation and implementation.
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I think a lot of the men on here are lazy, not the ones who truely understand the lifestyle of course. But a lot of the newer men come on here looking for sex & just use the Dom thing as an easy way, (they think) to get what they want with little effort. No realationship & little work, just give orders, they have no idea about the lifestyle. Although I'm not suggesting I'm an expert on the lifestyle myself. I do however realise it's a realationship like any other & like all relationships it requires work.
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Are you ready for the long explanation or would you prefer the cliff notes.. Part of the problem is most men have not emotionally matured past the age of 10.. Most boys stop being hugged,show affection by their parents around the age of 10.. Ergo any attention/ any touch by Women is instantly processed as sexual. This is why ALOT of men are just bad in the sack.. They don't get/ understand something as simple as " touch" or just enjoying a good conversation
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likes, I can agree with you, to some degree... That is the basic, Growing up, becoming a adult is also growing mentally, dont you think? Most people. men too?  grow out of that.....On your own power, and insight in your own behaviour, self reflection? We? They are not animals! We have to use of our brains! Come on! It is about devolop above that three year old stage, as a person. You say 10 year old, i say 3 year olds...
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RobertBishop, Thank you! 
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Dave, Thank you, too I think it is even more work, then 'any other kind of relation' because of the power shift and the amount of responsibility that takes... Most are not ever able to take on that amount of being responsible for an other human being.. Since they see it just as a sex game.
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