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some way of looking at..... In the many conversations i had, over the years on sites like this. There was alway the difference between ... I will try to explain. Wanting to service the Master or playing the role and obey. There was this one man, who wanted to know, if he ordered me, to dress in a certain way, if i would obey... Somehow that just did not touch the right cord with me. It is about, knowing what the master like to see me in, and i want to make him proud and happy, so i will dress the way he likes to see me. * He does not have to order me, i will dress his way, from within * because i want to surrender to his will.. his wishes.... * Because i know, what he likes. and dressing up, because it is an order, ( not from within) This thing was always a deal breaker for me. Just like the qeustion; what are you looking for, on here? (<b> shopping </font></b>list bdsm) if that is what you want? go for it, it is not what i long for. When the person is asking this, when this is his orientation point, there will never be a match. He just lack the whole core of mé...... the subtleties..... The strangest thing is, they never understood the difference between the two. And most of the time got angry with me.  An other sign that there will never be a match If you dont understand something, you ask, untill you understand, you dont let your emotions get the worst of you.... The difference... Does that make sense? Wanting to surrender to his wishes, or obey some order...... |
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First explore each others mind, then, maybe then..... Not jumping into the playing game, without even knowing the other persons family name...... Or family history... for that matter..... 
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Thinking that barking orders is dominance is very irrational. It takes time to know each other and learn about each other before any play should ever begin. Yes, there are those that live much differently, and I'm not putting them down, I'm just stating what works for me.
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Another good read.....wish others would take what you say to heart..... 
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rosa Yes, please the dom/me is so different to obeying a "barking order" ! They must get into our brains first  A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw Jenny
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a great and insightful post!
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Yes, it does make sense to me at least, Rosa. I am totally with you and couldn't put it better myself. Obeying orders is just... I don't know... seems impossible for me, but me knowing what he wants, how he wants and me wanting to do things the way he wants/likes is a whole different level of "obeying"... It takes time and patience to get to know each other that well.
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drmgirl, I try not to put them down, i mean, who am i to judge, anyway. Only when it is sort of forced up on me, i cant stand that. As if the play, ordering someone around, is THE ONLY WAY, and THE RIGHT WAY, to experience sm. to experience a Master-slave dynamic or some play act time... are two totally different ways to experience or/ to live it.....
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meltwill, Thank you! Every one has her, or his own learning curve or not, you know....?
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electros Alas, so it seem, in our little part of the world...
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jenny Yes, that is why i always talk about surrender, not submit.. Most dont even understand that difference.. aah, never mind...
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Arstchool, Thank you! 
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ExName, i thought you would understand this and the differences, between the two Once, i had this play contact, we stayed in a hotel, having breakfast, it was a totall natural thing to do, for me, without thinking about it, to service him first. Hé, on the contrary, thought, i was still in the "playing the role", mode. i never felt more lonely.. empty, misunderstood, cold... Hé too, did not gét IT, at all.
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