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Work, this guy..... The bike i am working on, is getting along pretty well, except for the brakes and the gear. It drives me nuts, that i dont seem to get it. And my man to go to, was not at the job, so i got to figure it out, on my own... Grrrr.... Then this sour man, did find it necessary to "help" me, with all kind of strange advise, about disassemble the whole gear box! Are you out of your brains! LOL So, i told him, you stay away from my gearbox. I will ask this Ronald guy...when ever he gets out of his booz stupor! Há. Today, Ronald was, thanks the goddesses, back again. And indeed, drank way tooo much liqour, He had a rush job, with this bike, so he could not help me.. Instead, i cleaned out more tool boxes, my god!! The stuff they collected??? We talked about my bike, he told me, how to do this.... But i was blank, i did not get it into my head!! Just not! So, we agreed, he would help me, next tuesday, fine I am a very visual, oriented person, i have to see it, in the flesh, so to say.... There is this other guy working there, i find him attractive. he is from Ucraine. He is a intelligent guy, just like this Ronald guy.... So, i try to talk with him, translate on his phone did help a lot. Then, all of the sudden, he wanted to meet at my house?! HUH??? I hate men, who dont have any patience, decency, and are very clear, about what they are after.... How disgusting! So i told him, i dont want to meet him, we can talk here. Told him, about the husband of my sister.... being terminal ill.... NO EMPATHY WHAT SO EVER. NO COMPASSION, AT ALL Well, so much for being intelligent.  amp;I, ofcourse, are already done, with him. This time, i stayed later then normal, i was in the shop, talking with this couple, customers of the shop, They were soo open and friendly, did come from the West of Holland, so we clicked, inmediately got to talking about all kind of stuff I totally forgot the tea break, came back into my part of the building all of the sudden, it seem to be 4 oclock? How did that happen! So i asked for my pay and got to talking with this W guy, one of the staff. We talked about this SAD thing, my family background, i think i shocked him, with my background story.. And i am always very carefull to tell the light version of my life, background.... Never give to much details, just the overall picture... I dont have any charge on that story, anymore, so for me, it is... Nah, not really a bedtime story,   but more, this was our normal,So? Most people cant handle the real harsh true... And i do understand that. All in all, it was a great day, although it rained and rained, and rained!! Gosh...... The rain is going away, so now we are getting below zero temps and maybe even snow and ice.... terrible cold winds, too..... Gosh!!  
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Later on, i talked to two other people, still working there, They dont have any inhibitions, You really dont want to know, what they did tell me........   I am always totally flabbergasted, about what they tell me. Their whole crime story, and more....  It is a good thing, people, cant shock me, that easily. Been there, done it, seen it all! kind of thick skin.... While, i, really dont like to talk about my background in all the gory details, at all. Because, i have experienced, that when i go into the details, of some events... They can only see me, as the 'victum' of that event and no longer as rosa, with her strange, harse humor, and all the other, nice parts of mé. 
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I agree with you about not wanting to appear as a victim. My childhood was very good, but it was the late teens that were troubling. But it all worked out and I'm a happy person.
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drmgirl, yes, i am much more then all the things that happened in my childhood. That was just the starting point, i did develop myself beyond that, but people are not able, anymore, when i go into details, to look beyond that... alas.... My starting point is just a bit crooked, from the socalled "normal" family life... In that way, that i would not easily fit in, that socalled "normal" way... of family life.... I am glad everything worked out fine, for you and you found your way. your core. and be happy!
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The less we share with people with whom we are in touch on an everyday basis, the better I think. They will take me as a victim if I say anything about my family history for instance because it is just not possible for them to pick up the bottom line out of a few details or just a general story I would share... so better not to say anything then... besides, there is that fact that people are in general not interested... just a bit curious so they could spread the word, which is again one more reason not to overshare... 
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sometimes youtube is a good reference for fixing bike issues. I've had to go there many times for my bikes when I can't take them into the shop. you are more than the things in your past. I liked when you said that. I'll remember that about my own life.
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boh, I was thinking of visiting Y Tube, too. Thank you, for the advice.🙏 Did that before about a bike issue, did not help, that time... but, you'll never know? This time! 😊 Yes, that too, it made me a very versatile, mentally strong positive woman. No matter what! 🤗😊😘seen, been in such a deep mess, except for my winterdepression, there is not much,that really can get me down...🤗 Sure, i can get upset... just like every other healthy person... about things, events, what people say or do...
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ExName, I,totally agree with you. + i never thought about myself as a victim, I am a surviver!! TO f with peoples mind, i, sometimes say; if i would tell you somethings about my past, i have to kill you afterwards! 🤣😂🤣 That stops it all! Or, say; not every one did have a "happy" - go lucky- childhood, and even if they say so, i doubt that very much... That stops questions, too. 😇😊 People dont like to hear that... 🤔 I find joy, in messing with peoples mis conception about who i am, based on how i look.... Just play around... 😇😇😇
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