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My sister and i, We do look like twin sisters. We laugh the same way. same kind of wild curly hair, eye colour. We are also very, very different in other ways, ofcourse..... When *he* finally died, she called me, and asked me if i could come, Ofcourse i could, told my work, i have to be with my sister, i already told them, there will be a funeral or something like that, in the near future... She told me, he is still in the house, in his couffin... Shudders I really, truly hope to never ever have to witness thát again! Untill his last moments, and even in his death, he demanded his way.... It is a very small house, there is no spare room, you can to go, him lying there in the livingroom.. Being very much present. Even in his death, not ever considering his wife, and her feelings, how she has to cope with this.... It says it all! My sister and i, we did have some conversation about their marriage and his behaviour, but it being all too fresh, so to say..... was most of the time, too much, for my sister. she was just in shock! for days, walking around like a zombi..... That talk came later on. we also did laugh a lot, cooked together, did some shopping, taking a walk, to just be outside. going on the bikes, To get out of that house.... She came with some revalations, wich i only could confirm.. Again and again. That made it easier, i think, for my sister to really see in what kind of a shape their "marriage" really was.... Wich made it easier, again, for her, to make disicions, change things, throw things out, and so on... I dont sugar coat, i say things as i see them, or i dont say anything at all I practised that last part very much, during my stay at my sisters place... I saw her struggle with the new reality, trying to find her ground, in all this. I also dont like hypocrisy...... I had a hard time, at the cremation ceremony ......... Knowing, me saying things, would not help her, at that moment in her shock. She has to do things her way. My way works best for me, not for her, at all. And sometimes my way, works best, when i want to shock people out of their comfort zone. I enjoy doing that...   Sometimes, that helps people open their view, mindseye.. sometimes, not so..... Aah, well, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose |
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going to visit and stay for a week or so, at my sisters place the coming months, as long as she needs that.
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VERY kind of you, Rosa, I'm SURE your sister appreciates your efforts and that your presence there was uplifting to her, to have your support at such a difficult time...
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rosa I am very sorry for your loss and I wish you and your sister well! Grief is very difficult but it does ease eventually.... A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw Jenny
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Rosa Dear💋 I understand and i agree with your feelings❤️.... However that old saying... Never Speak I'll Of The Dead😔
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You are a good sister Rosa!
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It's good you can stay at your sister's house for a while. When my wife passed away, I really didn't have anybody that could stay with me after the funeral - and the loneliness was tough!
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I'm sure your sister was so glad to have you by her side. Your kindness will always be rewarded.
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Rosa family is most important thing in life even if dysfunctional...l hope you two grow closer now!
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Rosa, not only that you are a wonderful sister, you are a genuine sister... having someone who is close to you and who does not sugarcoat as you say things is such a precious thing... sometimes we don't see things as clearly as those around us... I am so sure you and your sister will find your way to tell each other things that are in your hearts.... take care of yourself too, Rosa 
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rosa,I am so sorry.
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ryder, Me too, thank you,
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pzkw, Ooh, man! that must have been real hard on you! I am sorry for you, that there was nobody there close by, to help support you. Even while i was with her, my sister was at a loss too... 50 years together.....
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brandy, Oh, i know that saying, do you know the saying, i dont like hypocrites! LOL  death or a life!
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bdsmDd, Thank you,
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jenny, Yes, it just needs time and people to talk about it, i believe.. Process all aspects of it,
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likeithot, Thank you, much appreciated.
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drmgirl, Thank you, i made the commitment to visit her every month, untill she is sick and tired of me! LOL To support her in her way to find her own way of living.... And, able to pick up her own life again....
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ExName, Thank you so much for your very kind words. Yes, i also do take care of myself.
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