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Negotiation? Or just talk with each other, find out, what makes this person tick... What is important in her/his life. her/his dislikes, childhood events, overall preferences.. And find out, whó this person is, inside, deep down.. To be able to make a whole mental inmage picture of the other person, whó she/ he really is.... Negotiation is like vetting, something you DO to explore the area where you and that other person have somethings in common, on the BDSM play list...activities. TO find out, if you and the other, are going to have a great scene, role play, bondage scene or what ever you fancy. find out what the soft limits, hard limits are, and know the differences between the two. If you need aftercare, of if you take care of that, yourself. things like safety, drinks, something to eat, after the scene.. If you want sex, or not. If it is necessary to keep in contact, days after the scene you both did, to see if the s type is still doing oke. Not letting the s type drive after a heavy scene, because when in subspace, the brains works differently... You are not in controle. Some compare subspace with a runners high, or with smoking those green leaves, with that funny smell....? I dont like the meaning of negotiation, to me, it is not some business deal. I need that commitment, that involvement with me, and my life, it is not, at first a sexual act, to me, although there are some very deep intens feelings 'in play' First, there must be a mental connection. I must have to like you, like the way you think, act, be, in day to day living... be able to talk about anything, with you and most important be able to laugh with and about you, too. My experience with those bedroom players, is that their level of being interested in me, is really, really very shallow It is only used to get to my pussy... The short track, that is. They are not really at all interested in who you are. Only as long as that brings them to the pussy part of me. My preferences about sexual acts..... Also, one other thing, about those bedroom players, it seems like they never remember anything you ever told them... How is that, for being reliable? How does that effect the safety of a scene? If he cant remember your favorite food, or pet, or if you are allergic to something or other, how is he going to remember your hard limits, or trigger points....? With or without negotiation. If you both, just start an conversation like you would do, with a new colleague, and find things out, about the other person, you build something up, like friendship and really getting to like each other. BUT, those bedroomplayers are not at all interested in that. They just want to play a scene... |
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And most of them, are very bad in negotiation. or in communication in general, while that is thé most important ingredient of the whole scale of BDSM activities, living it, or just role play in the bedroom....
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3/4/2024 5:15 pm |
Compromise or submit
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Há, are "we?" talking about the same thing, here? 
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