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The real serious talk, Between my sister and me, about this whole new situation, for her. was always done in a in between kind of style.. We never sat down and did the real difficult talk about mourning and all the side effects on her... We did some, hanging the fresh new wash on the wasline, and talked about difficult stuff. allways very short and very to the point, in short bursts of intimacy... We laughed a lot, sometimes we even had belly ache from laughing. We are in sooo many ways, so alike! it scares me, and her too. We laughed a lot about our similarities.... And 'blamed' each other of this, too, in a kind way... Her really found this all very funny.... She was glad i was with my sister and helped her, in other ways wich she was not able to do. Her helped her in other areas. and that is alright, too. We were on the bikes, and talked, or we were doing some washing up and talked, all very casually. I think, that made it easier for my sister to say certain things..... |
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I think, i am good in matters like this. Giving people confidence, that they will survive this, No matter how much it hurts now.... Tell them, it is alright, that it hurts like hell and you dont know were to find peace, or something like that... Or you want to crawl under a blanket and dont ever come out of it, anymore... It is all too much, at once.... The emotions, the anger, maybe, the sorrow, maybe, and the paperworks related to his death.. too The lost opportunities..... to.... ? no more...
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Rosa Dear 💋 ...luckily time heals...😎
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Brandy is so right... but having support, like you are providing to your sister, unconditional, loving, caring, and still not pushing - is priceless and makes that time of healing a little easier.. .
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Sometimes, as the saying goes 'There are just NO words to express the condolences one is feeling for someone' that's going through what your sister just experienced. On the outside, looking in, you want to HELP SO MUCH, ANY WAY you can. And I think 'baby steps', providing support in the way that you did/do is the BEST way to get someone going through that pain on track again. There are highs and lows in mourning, just like LIFE itself, as, of course mourning is a part of life. But you've provided a means for your sister to lean on someone, YOU, when she's feeling those lows, and a way for her to overcome and cope with them. It always takes time to 'heal' and the length of time is different for everyone. Even when it's physical injury, no two people will heal at exactly the same rate, so it is with emotional trauma like the loss of a loved one. You've provided the link for your sister, someone that she can call upon, even on her better days, to chat with and provided her with the support from someone she KNOW, and KNOWS she can count on, what an AWESOME gift to give, and why wouldn't you, she is your sister, after all! I'm SURE she will be forever grateful for the support you provide, Rosa...  
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It seems like you and your sister had many good conversations!
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I think you bring back memories that life was good, before him. Showing it can be as well, now, after him... with the help of time... and YOU
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likeithot, I think, you might be very right, about that! 
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Ex, Oh, if you knew, how much i want to clean her house out!! That whole house if FULL of his stuff, his collecting of godsknowswhat!! But, it is not up to me, to do so! So, i do the best i can, to support her, in HER way of taking care of this. She will handle this, her way, step by step.
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1benquick, Your writing did ring home, it is like youre telling it. Yeah, baby steps it is, indeed. And, although she knows, i would have cleaned it all, out, already, i dont take any action, ( that is not up to me, anyway) and i dont say a thing about it. She comes with ideas to clean it all out, step by step, by her self and that is far better, then me pushing her, while she is not even ready for that. I wont do that! anyway! It is up to her, how she deals wiith this trauma. The trauma is still too fresh.
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