truly tasteless
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Posted:Jan 23, 2022 6:58 pm
Last Updated:May 17, 2024 1:14 pm 2309 Views
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Growing up, I only saw my Father on some of the big holidays, and every other summer. He was 50 / fifty years old when I was born, liked to bowl and play cards with his select few friends, and sit at home smoking cigarettes and watching a ton of television. He was an unapologetic and equal opportunity hater of humans. When people accused him of being racist he liked to say he wasn’t, because he hated everyone. It was through jokes about Polish people that I learned our family (on his side) was from Poland. My Dad told Pollack jokes with zero hesitation, because in his mind and heart he wasn’t trying to disparage “his” race and all that blah blah he was just being absurd and funny. I now believe, based on my own mental struggles and discoveries, that he likely had Asperger’s, among other things, and that’s where a lot of “who I am” comes from. He and I were similar in many ways, not the least of which was our delight enjoying offensive jokes. We didn’t see the harm, just the humor. That’s still how I feel, and it’s why I think woke culture is so pathetic.
One of the weekly treats my Father and I anticipated was the release of the newest volume of “Truly Tasteless Jokes” at our local grocery store. Now, before I go on I want to let that sink in. The books I am about to reminisce about were sold at the grocery store. They came out in paperback, and were almost always located near the register, in that small impulse aisle where nowadays you see candy, gum and magazines mostly. Every week my Dad and I went to the store and looked with eager eyes for our fix of offensiveness. How many dead babies? What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? How many Mexicans does it take? We giggled and guffawed with genuine glee, and I remember those were the first times, as a , that I laughed so hard and for so long that I cried. It didn’t make me dislike Hispanic people, nor did it desensitize me to the point that I couldn’t hold a polite, intelligent conversation, but it did score me points among other males I came across throughout my life. When someone asked me if I “knew any good jokes” I had a ton ready to go. The difficult thing, over the years, has become figuring out just how rude and crude you could be with any given person. Nowadays; forget about it. But finding someone you can share a nasty joke with is like winning the lottery. People are just far too sensitive now.
Were anyone to try and release a series of books right now similar to “Truly Tasteless Jokes” I think they’d find heavy resistance. There was absolutely nothing p.c. about them in any way. One offensive term or phrase followed another at a steady pace. Most of the jokes are now considered classics I suppose, but were new versions or variations to suddenly appear I wonder how they would be received? Would they be relegated to the dark web or find a place somewhere amongst all of the growing p.c. / woke / cancel culture factions? I think there are still enough people in the world who don’t take things too seriously and would genuinely enjoy some newly offensive jokes, as long as they got a good, hearty, nearly hysterical laugh out of it or something. A joke, concept, or turn of phrase so funny their jaw drops open and they just have to pause what they’re doing to smile and marvel at it. That’s why I see the simple but intrinsic value in something like the animated comedy series Family Guy. Not every joke was a genius gem but they took enough chances and tried to spread their offensiveness across the board so that nobody escaped, and for that I am a forever fan. When the world stops enjoying and supporting stuff like that I fear it will be a dark time indeed.
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more birds equal more bills
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Posted:Jan 22, 2022 1:18 pm
Last Updated:May 17, 2024 1:14 pm 2256 Views
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It is wintertime, which means it is cold outside, and electricity bills are usually higher because people are heating their homes and just keeping things warm in general. Since the very first day I moved into the side office that belongs to my sex slave ChrisSwallows he has been on me about conserving energy. Keep this door closed, only run this heater on low, things like that. It’s his home, he’s the one paying the bill, and I’m staying there for free so of course I am doing my level best to comply. Sometimes I mess up, but I’m working on it.
When he first told me the size of his previous electricity bill I was astonished. Yes, he has a large house with no carpeting and high ceilings that I think was built in the 60’s, so it doesn’t even have much in the way of insulation. Furthermore, he has 2 / two parrots and 2 / two tortoises as pets, both of which are animals that need consistently warm environments to thrive. Despite all of that, I still thought his bill sounded a bit severe, and I knew my presence in the house wasn’t going to bring it down any.
At some point someone asked why I’d moved in, and ChrisSwallows chalked it up to empty nest syndrome. Just a few months before he’d been living with his and her boyfriend, so having me around was helping with some of the newly felt loneliness or emptiness I suppose. It was at this point that I joked with him about the electricity bill that had him so concerned. Even if I kept the heat off and followed all of his directives, he hadn’t taken into account the fact that I would be cooking on a daily basis, doing laundry, and so on. No matter what, my presence was going to drive up the electricity bill. That’s when I joked that more birds (me) would equal more (higher) bills. He stressed and fretted, but in the end it was all for nothing. It turned out his had some habits that were electricity-sucking, including things like taking extended showers that ran a 50 / fifty gallon tank out of hot water. I don’t know if that’s an exaggeration, but it would help explain why his bill was so high, and why it has come down quiet a bit since she moved out.
As of this posting the current electricity bill is half what it was the previous month, and it’s actually been colder outside. Nobody is taking hour-long showers and there’s probably a lot less laundry being done, but I can’t say if my need to cook just about every day has had a negative impact. ChrisSwallows and I, working together, are doing our best to conserve and be responsible, and it seems to be working. His nest doesn’t feel so empty, nor does his wallet.
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random silly thinking
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Posted:Jan 20, 2022 12:05 pm
Last Updated:May 17, 2024 1:14 pm 2129 Views
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My sex slave ChrisSwallows has 2 / two parrots, and sometimes we put on music to entertain them, or keep them company. He likes to play piano music and nursery rhymes while I’ve been trying out opera and Jack Johnson. The other day I thought about actual bird songs and language, so I asked Alexa to play something like that, but it took a while to find anything. I think the key words were “jungle” and “bird”, perhaps “nature” was in there too, but what the device finally came up with was halfway decent. There were plenty of birds chirping, as well as a few animals making noises I can only claim to vaguelyI recognize. Add some buzzing and whatnot from insects and I thought it was fairly realistic, perhaps even an actual recording of a jungle somewhere. Of course I’ve never been to 1 / one so what the heck do I know?
The first time I put it on, 1 / one of the parrots began to vocalize fairy quickly, in a way that felt harmonious and not just random. Was he reacting to what he was hearing, or was it simply chance? Were there in fact any birds at all that the parrots would recognize? And once I got thinking down that track I got a little silly with it.
Let’s assume the birds were not born in captivity, which means they were captured at some point and then made into pets. Don’t think about it too long though, because that’s sad.
Anyways, these parrots have lived with a few different owners over the years, and they’ve heard tons of music, humans talking, the sounds of electronic devices, plus all the birds screeching and chirping outside the window everyday, and then 1 / one day they hear a recording of “the jungle” and actually recognize a call / voice. You know, as if a parrot taken from the Amazon (is that where they come from?) could years later hear a recording someone made of the Amazon rainforest and actually recognize the call of a fellow parrot. That Bob in the next tree who was always making that annoying click sqwuak screech combo thing…
Before I go, I do want to mention that both parrots seem to enjoy listening to Jack Johnson but it might be because I also sing and dance around a bit in front of their cages to keep them distracted and stimulated. Maybe I’ll try some heavy metal and see if there’s any difference…
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cat or cunt?
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Posted:Jan 17, 2022 4:49 pm
Last Updated:Jan 20, 2022 12:05 pm 2048 Views
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In my haste to vacate my previous living space I inadvertently left some personal belongings behind. Nothing important, but it was taking up space in ex-roommate’s shed so I agreed to drive back to Vancouver, Washington to retrieve it. Part of me was interested in taking advantage and fucking her while I was there, but mostly I just wanted to be done with her, once and for all. So without intention I arrived and let fate play a hand in what transpired. We talked briefly, but I mostly attention to the animals I used to care for, then I loaded my car up and took off. There was the briefest of embraces as we parted, but nothing close to passionate was exchanged between us. Had she shown up at the door dressed scantily, or had she been groping while I was within reach I might have gotten in the mood, but it didn’t happen that way. We were familiar but cordial, and in the end I was just happy to be gone.
The next I received a message from her; “I’m surprised you didn’t take my kitty while you were here”. Since she does indeed have 2 / two felines I grew quite fond of, I thought it necessary (and amusing) to clarify by asking if she meant her cat, or her cunt? This did not please her at all. In the end, I came up with the lame excuse that she’d been wearing too many clothes, and she was her typical passive-aggressive self with her reply of “Oh well, if it wasn’t worth the effort that says enough”. It helped me feel like I’d made the correct decision though. I refrained from sarcastically replying that I’d put forth exactly the same of effort as she had, and just left it alone. As far as I know, that’ll be the last exchange we ever have, and her rejection will be the last thing we ever communicate about. Honestly, I’m not too sad about that. She is not a very nice person.
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the purge
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Posted:Jan 11, 2022 4:23 pm
Last Updated:Jan 17, 2022 4:49 pm 2106 Views
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This week I am trying to go through my personal belongings and do a purge. I have 3 / three categories; items I want to take with to my spot in Southern Oregon, items I want to place in storage to retrieve a later date, and items I want to get rid of. Whether I them, or them, I’m doing my damnedest to get rid of as much as possible. The (now) / boxes of books over in the corner of the room mock my efforts, but I am making progress, and they too will have their of reckoning. I’ve spent a lifetime collecting these tomes, and it’s going to be nearly impossible to part with them, but my plan is to take 1 / one box with me and store 6 / . Sorting through my books will likely be the last thing I do, because I know it’ll be the hardest on . I truly love them.
A factor that is driving my decision about whether to keep something, or toss it, is my potential untimely demise. Should I die of starvation, or freeze to death or something, I envision my poor having to sort through my meager belongings, so I have been getting rid of potentially embarrassing items. My dildos, for instances, will not be going with me, nor do I plan on putting them in storage. This is not the case with all sex toys, but sometimes I just hold something in my hand and imagine my coming across it. She knows I make adult movies, though not the specifics, so I wonder what she’d think when she found a couple boxes of lingerie? Would she guess I was cross dressing or figure I had a girlfriend that was visiting , even in my isolation? To be honest, sex toys and things like that are all that really concern . I don’t have a closet, or boxes, full of secrets. So I’m mainly just talking about the “adult” stuff.
I used to pride myself in being a person that didn’t consume unnecessarily, who didn’t let the acquisition of “things” rule my life, but by the looks of my room I see that my pride has been a bit misplaced. This purge will be healthy, even if it is difficult to part with things I worked so hard to earn, or find, and have kept in my life for all these many years. Some of the things I’m getting rid of have a history that goes back decades, so I’m having a tough time of it. Memories are hard enough for me to get a good grip on, but having some “thing” to help jog or solidify that has always been helpful, and a pleasure. I very intense levels of deja vu sometimes just by holding certain items, or listening to specific songs. Time to let those memories and feelings go I suppose, and just focus on the future. New memories and experiences will attach to new “things” and before you know it I won’t have time to mourn, or try and recall, all that I have lost or given away.
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my horny roommate - encore
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Posted:Jan 9, 2022 5:58 pm
Last Updated:May 17, 2024 1:14 pm 2052 Views
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I thought for sure I would never write another entry for this series. I’ve moved away from this woman, and nothing short of a cash incentive would get me return her house, so how or why would I anything more say? Well…
Out of the blue I received a from my horny ex-roommate. “You fucking broke me” was all said. I figured had something do with her current inability achieve orgasm, mainly due the fact that she is still recovering from neck surgery. turns out I was incorrect, and was a bit more involved than that. Before I moved out, I was helping her put up fencing around her property keep the dogs and chickens in, and predators out. Some work was done by the 2 / two of us, some by professionals, and before I left she was scheduling contractors and taking bids for a gate. That’s a lot of swinging dicks going to and from her house, so something was bound to happen.
seems a certain gentleman had done some work for my horny ex-roommate in the past, and though the story was vague she pretty much admitted that the he came out and told her about fantasies he’d had about her in the past. She told me the guy left, drove to a nearby store and purchased some condoms, and then returned to her. This is highly unusual, since her thing is avoid them (condoms) if possible. Such is her hunger, apparently, that she went through with it. The guy was not well hung but at least she felt desirable, and a bit naughty. Right now I think being “naughty” is what drives her more than anything. Sure, a few orgasms would be nice, but the attention is a decent substitute. Obviously I’m guessing, since I truly don’t know the mind of this crazy woman.
The life of my horny ex-roommate has always smacked of desperation, and I can see my absence has not changed a thing. Her new roommate won’t be moving in for another week, but when she does ’s all supposed stop. That’s a shame because the world could always use more cum dumps, and she is a good one of those.
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I hate to move it, move it
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Posted:Jan 4, 2022 5:08 pm
Last Updated:May 17, 2024 1:14 pm 2147 Views
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Pardon the absence, but I spent the last few days moving from Vancouver, Washington to Milwuakie, Oregon. I mostly settled into my new digs, so now the plan is to sort through my belongings, keep what I want and purge what I don’t, then stage my escape to my spot in Southern Oregon. My unrealistic but fervent hope is to accomplish this by the end of the month. Ugh.
I am currently staying in the “side office” at my slave ChrisSwallows’ house. He spent a day helping me haul the large items I still own, like a custom-made red love seat, from my old residence to his place. To his credit, he was fighting a cold, so I am doubly grateful. He continues to be a true friend.
During a conversation with another friend I learned that he had begun playing music on his guitar again, and it inspired me to set my drums up in the room I am staying in. I don’t yet feel comfortable enough to play more than a couple of songs, mainly because I’m worried about pissing off the neighbors, but those few moments been magical. I feel so comfortable and capable while playing, is a genuine stress release. I might be slightly exhausted when I’m done but I almost always feel euphoric. Yes, I think I’ll them until I’m ready leave, and then try and find the store them somewhere, for later. Ideally I’d like to set them up on my land in Southern Oregon, because I seriously no neighbors worry about.
The move exhausted me physically and emotionally. I can’t say I miss much about my last living situation, but it was still tough to pry myself from the familiarity of both routine and surroundings, and put myself into something new. Despite my initial fears I’ve slept pretty well, and it wasn’t too difficult to get my food intake / diet back on track. The noises that plagued me in Vancouver are nearly non-existent here, but what does occur tends to leave me mildly irritated for short periods of time. Not having deal with it hourly, on a daily basis, helps raise the level of tolerance I guess. My spirits are also rising a bit at a time as well, though I know I won’t be able fully relax until I am on my way Southern Oregon. is my destiny and I intend fulfill .
This obviously means the demise of the “my horny roommate” series, though with ChrisSwallows being the rabid cock sucker that he is I could just change the title and keep writing. I just don’t know that “my horny slave” has the ring . He intends on being available regularly, and keeping my cock drained, so if I do write updates they will likely be numerous. I think filming solo material is probably out of the question for the next couple of weeks at least; not will I not the sexual energy spare, I’ll hopefully be making up for by capturing moments between ChrisSwallows and I, as well as any other couplings he can manage arrange for me record. My cock and camera are hopefully going be very busy.
’s temporary, but ’s my new home for now. I’ll a way station…
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a good way to end the year
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Posted:Dec 29, 2021 7:52 pm
Last Updated:Dec 30, 2021 7:40 pm 1866 Views
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For the month of December sales were better than usual.
Part of it had to do with the fact that nearly all of my videos were half off the normally very low price. I do believe that is why some people bought several at once.
It also a holiday, which is typically bad for the adult industry in general, but good for specific adult personalities I suppose. Sometimes generosity can extend beyond close family, even during Christmas time. I'm just thankful some people out there found my movies and liked what they saw enough to buy more than 1 / one. Happy holiday to them, and to me!
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the unclean
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Posted:Dec 28, 2021 8:39 pm
Last Updated:May 17, 2024 1:14 pm 2054 Views
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I could just as easily file this the “my horny roommate” series but I will talk less about the experience of being intimate with her and more about something else. Mainly cleanliness, and her lack of it.
Without grossing anyone out I will do my best to honestly and bluntly describe what my roommate is like when it comes to hygiene and cleanliness. She does not brush her teeth, or if she does it is with turmeric. Her habit is to not shower until nearly half the has passed, which means she is often dirty and smelly in the morning and throughout the first part of the . She lets her obsessively lick her hands and does not ever seem to wash them, her feet are always filthy, and there is a distinct odor coming from between her legs. It’s not wholly unpleasant but there is a tinge of sourness to it I find repulsive. Those are just off the top of my head.
Some guys might not find what I just described unattractive, or unpleasant. I like the women that I am in close proximity to, or intimate with, to be as feminine in this regard as possible. Clean, and either smelling fresh or flowery. I know some women like the musky smell of a guy, and I’ve had many say they enjoyed the smell of me in general, but I’ve been with a couple of females whom I could say the same thing about. Hygiene and grooming habits were a big part of that, as was diet and biology. My last regular lover had a pussy that smelled like Taco Bell - no bullshit - and I was grossed out by it. Some guys might think that sounds , but not . I want it to smell and taste like a fresh breeze, or strawberries, not a Chalupa.
So when I woke up horny a few days ago I eyed my roommate with a bit of hunger, but then all the things I described above began to come into focus, and it slowly changed. The desire never went away exactly, I just put it on pause and waited until she took a shower. I did not communicate my thoughts or let her know I was horny in general, just decided to wait it . Eventually she did freshen up though, and shortly after, we had sex. For a reason I can’t currently recall, our post coital conversation led to her asking why I’d waited until after she took a shower, and I recall giving her a polite but blunt answer. My preference is for a clean, nice smelling individual. I don’t think saying it upset her, nor did I phrase it in such a way that it seemed passive aggressive or anything like that. She took it simply as information, which is what it was, and appeared to file it away for later. Maybe she’ll start showering earlier now, I don’t know. In the end it doesn’t matter; I’ll be gone in a few short days. Then she can be as clean or dirty for whoever - or nobody at all. It will, thankfully, no longer be my problem. My sex slave ChrisSwallows always makes sure to present himself as clean and fresh as possible, and I appreciate that about him. It makes him (a guy) more appealing than a female, and my preference is for women. Obviously my need for cleanliness trumps that.
The day after Xmas, when my horny roommate was trying to get laid, she at one point informed me that a guy was on the way, but at the same time was whining to me about not being clean. She hadn’t taken a shower all day, and now that someone was on the way she still didn’t want to freshen up. This is the same person who won’t even straighten up the area she plans to use to get laid. If it was a mess before, it stays a mess. Not an attractive trait, in my , and it’s compounded by the fact that she doesn’t want to exert much effort in general. Unappealing on so many levels, but chief among them for is the cleanliness issue. I like my sex partners to be dirty, but not in that way.
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roughing it
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Posted:Dec 27, 2021 8:31 pm
Last Updated:May 17, 2024 1:14 pm 1867 Views
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As the weather turns bitterly cold my mind shifts to thoughts of the spot I’ll be moving to shortly, in Southern Oregon, and the challenges of keeping it warm. Recent rainy days also have me in a bit of a panic, because it is my intention to live solely off of water collection techniques I’ve been learning about. I’m not up there though, and neither is the equipment, so all this time passing means gallons of water lost. That might not seem important now but come the middle of summer, when there isn’t even dew to collect in the mornings, I’ll be wishing I’d already been on the spot in December. Timing is crucial, and it looks mine isn’t all that great, which means my first year there is going to be a challenge.
I’ve lived in some pretty poor conditions before though, and managed just fine. There was the time I was sleeping in the warehouse of a business I was working for, bathing in the bathroom sink, and cooking most of my meals in a toaster oven. Later, I would rent a studio across the street that would act as a combination office / living quarters for a while. The bathroom was shared with a few other tenants, and it was located down the hallway, plus there was no kitchen to speak of. After I was fired from that job I spent a few weeks sleeping in the loft of a different warehouse, in a sleeping bag, next to a heater. I had to get up and walk across the street to another building just to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I also had to wake up and be gone at a certain time in order to avoid being detected. Those were desperate times, and I was as creative as I could be so I could get by, and in a way my situation in Southern Oregon will be similar, at least for a short while. I do my best to adapt to harsh conditions, and so far I’ve managed.
Of course going to prison a couple of times could be considered hard living as well. Jails and penitentiaries are kept cold on purpose, nearly every surface is either made of plastic, metal or cement, and you can guess the other negatives that go along with being incarcerated that I’m certain I don’t need to mention. Despite my aversion to being unclean or unhygienic I made it through stints where I was forced to wear the same clothing for many days in row. There were places I stayed where you had to wash your socks in the sink in your cell. You never showered alone, or with anything close to hot water. There were some tough living conditions, and you could definitely say I roughed it. My place is going to the opposite of prison though, so I think any adverse conditions will be met, and conquered, with a different frame of mind.
More than anything I want and need this freedom, this isolation from everyone, and I will do whatever I have to in order to achieve it. Once I’m there, I’ll deal with whatever comes my way so I can retain it. A few rough, cold nights? Bring them on!
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