To be outdated means…
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Posted:Oct 4, 2017 7:05 pm
Last Updated:Nov 20, 2017 8:43 pm 4606 Views
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you find others not worthy or interested in them and/or their submission towards you which involves mutual time, respect and trust towards one another.
I find so many profiles and pictures that are so outdated. I read your profiles which includes looking at your pictures to find out who you are and who you are seeking to get a better understanding of all the possibilities that this world has to offer. Yet, what I am viewing in both written and visual languages are so many hollow and empty human beings. I am not looking to be bored or to be boring to someone. I am interested in learning, growing, and developing myself and I utilize your information, when it is provided, to help me gain these pieces of information.
Within so many of your profiles I find your words of being tired and frustrated by all of the bots, fakes, flakes and others that you list, yet you are doing this as well. Your words, if they are of value are then deflated by the lack of your honesty in not posting or keeping your profiles updated which includes your pictures. There are those who list their age as 42, yet your profile birth year may have you 10 or more years older than what you have written. If there is an error, why not take the time to notate the error with a correct year? Or if you are trying to be discreet, at least have a disclaimer.
So if you want to discuss and complain about other profiles, I suggest you look first at your own. If you need, want and desire to have a relationship built upon respect and trust then review what you have written and keep it updated. I have no problems moving on since it appears that you do not have the time that it takes to either correct an honest mistake or to be honest about yourself. If you do not have the time to do this, then how would you have the time to invest in a relationship of this dynamic? The perception that you leave behind with me is one who does not really care about another human being who would be handing over their life to you, therefore, there would be no need, want and desire to get to know more about you since my life is more precious to me than it is to be submitting myself to you for your pleasures and use. The only ones you are deceiving, being disrespectful towards, untruthful with, distrustful and so many more words that fall into this category is yourself along with anyone else who could possibly be interested in you.
So please take the time to respect and trust yourself.
Thank you.
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You have been given a present…
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Posted:Sep 19, 2017 8:44 pm
Last Updated:Nov 19, 2017 5:00 pm 8144 Views
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Time does help to mend some of ourselves.
You have been given a present of today that is to be unwrapped and enjoyed today.
Your past, that once unwrapped gift of your future and that you could not wait to open for your present.
Your future will always be that unwrapped gift that keeps on giving along with never going away.
It is filled with surprises even if you despise them.
Embrace it all for your pleasures and enjoyment.
I look at the future as submission.
It has submitted its self as your present.
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Needs, Wants and Desires
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Posted:Aug 27, 2017 1:56 pm
Last Updated:Nov 20, 2017 8:44 pm 7778 Views
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Needs, Wants and Desires
Definitions:
Need – require (something) because it is essential or very important
Want – have a desire to possess or do (something); wish for
Desire – a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen
In my journey I am having many epiphanies as I am traveling on these different pathways. I am finding as I journey that my Needs are the necessities in my life and that I need to start defining what my own needs, wants and desires are. My needs are what I have allowed not to happen in my past due in part to my heart not wanting to hurt someone who has gotten to know me. I allowed my heart to lead and not necessarily to then listen to my mind that was shooting up the warning flags that said to slow down and now come to a complete stop. I was in such a rush to find that fairytale fantasy that I lost sight of something extremely important to bring into any relationship. That was and still is, if I am not being true to myself and what my needs are then I have failed to give to you the ability to truly trust and respect me along with failing myself. These are not acceptable to me and I do not believe that are to be accepted into a D/s relationship or any other relationship either. These are critical in the development of any relationship even to the level of TPE. It takes so much between both the Dominant and submissive to be willing to give up so much of each other’s selves to establish this and then to be able to maintain it.
The Needs are there as my foundation that are and will always be a part of me and who I am seeking to maintain this foundation. Without a foundation there is nothing else that will be able to replace it to keep the stability that we all crave and seek. The Wants and Desires can be a part of a Need. However, these have some flexibility whereas I will not have someone expecting me to remove a necessity in my life. As I change and develop these lists should also be adjusted accordingly to reflect who I am at the time. They do not define me. I define myself for myself with the understanding that I am defining myself to be who and what I need to be for the one I give myself to. One who will accept me as I am and will let me express myself so that he knows what my needs, wants, desires and love can be for him and with him. I Need to have a symbiosis with one and only one emotionally, mentally and psychologically in order to be able to achieve the one thing that I have also wanted and desired to be one who gives of herself joy, happiness and pleasures to others.
I know that my first need is to be true to myself and to uphold this accountability to myself. In being true to myself I need to have my mind stimulated continuously and I have found that this is one of my necessities on my needs list is the ability of a Dominant to articulate himself. I am no longer going to deny this needed necessity anymore. I need a Dominant who is going to appeal and appease all of my senses just as I would expect no less of him to see me this same way. Without this basic necessary need being met I will be useless to him or any other Dominant. If I were to do this then I would be no better than those who profess to be Dominants when in fact when challenged they actually are those who abuse this role and/or title they have placed upon themselves. I am not a wannabe submissive at all. I am extremely submissive to the right one for me and me for him.
The next need is more of an all encompassing one that is basically what we as human beings need. It is the need to be needed, to be wanted, to be desired, to be respected, to be trusted, and most of all the need to be loved and to reciprocate that love back whether it is that all encompassing love of being in love or just a love between two friends who share more than that between themselves. I Need to know how to please and pleasure him along with the need to give to him willingly and freely; my gift of myself. When I am told of his wants and desires and I ask about his needs, it appears that this line of questioning is brushed aside as if he might be displaying his vulnerabilities with me. We are all vulnerable in so many different ways. I am displaying my vulnerability now in and from my past writings. I will never deny this either. I may have lots of strength with the strong will that goes hand in hand with it, however, I still have weaknesses along with temptations that will never go away. It is how I handle them. It is how you are willing to handle your vulnerabilities, whether you share them or not with me or anyone else. They are there and will never go away. They may diminish as you learn about them or uncover them then as to how you will handle them.
Then there is the Need to find the calmness that brings with it the peace and serenity. To be able to find someone who exudes this calmness in their persona in whatever language it is conveyed in to where I am able to absorb it so that there is the peace and serenity that I need, want and desire to have within me. There are so many more Needs, Wants and Desires to discover and explore with the discoveries leaning more towards the Needs that then may filter towards being Wants and Desires.
The Wants and Desires are those that are not a necessity for me to be able to live the life that I need, want and desire or are they a priority that defines who and what I need to be a lady and/or a submissive. The Wants and Desires can be so many things with their foundation based on my Needs. I Want to be needed. I Want to try to find out what my boundaries and limits are. I Want to feel the touch of his hands on my rump and what it feels like when he spanks me? I Want to know what he needs, wants and expects of me. I Want to know how to please him. These all can be and are applied as Needs on my list.
The Desires are more of what I am craving to feel and/or try. The Desire to be needed, to be wanted and possibly loved in this D/s relationship with someone based on what we agree upon. It is the Desire to be with someone who will help me to understand my body and how it works when different things are done to it? There is the Desire to allow my mind and body to let go like they have never been allowed to be released in my past. I desire to find out what my limits and boundaries are that have not been defined or pushed. There is the Desire to allow myself to entrust someone with my whole essence and to allow him to use me for his pleasures and desires with our agreed upon limits and boundaries. There is also the desire to see how far I am able to go safely into the unknown and back again. A Desire to find the calmness that comes after the raging storm has ended. I Desire to be a human being again.
These are just the beginning of mine. What are yours?
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The things that I write are for you to read to get to know me.
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Posted:Jul 29, 2017 6:14 pm
Last Updated:Nov 20, 2017 8:44 pm 5894 Views
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The things that I write and post or that I write back to you are things that I need to say. They come from my heart and what I can remember; whether they will cause me to lose you from the beginning or not. You are who matters to me. To those of you who take the time to write and ask me questions. It is for those of you who will read before even writing to me. It is you who will be affected if I do not tell and answer your questions truthfully and honestly. I need to say them because I would rather have you know who I am, what my life has been like and how I got to be here than not to be true to you and myself. I write to help get things off my mind and have a place to go to when I forget. I need to be able to know that when I write it is for you to know more about me. I try to remember to be truthful and honest. I do not need nor want to lose whatever respect and trust you have towards me or towards myself since I need, want and desire to be fair to you. It is not worth a lie that will come forth at some point and time to be so desperate to have you as a friend and/or Dominant and then to lose what respect and trust that has been created to then lose it along with my dignity. I am worth more to you and myself as I am. If you are not able to accept who and how my past has created my present and possibly will shape my future then that is your prerogative to move on to someone who will be the one you are seeking. I do not nor will I hold it against you either. I need you to be able to make a wise and healthy choice for yourself and not have any regrets later. I write because I have not completely forgotten who and what I am, how I got to be here nor do I want to forget.
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Profiles with no Introduction or the lack of substantial content
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Posted:Jun 5, 2017 8:16 pm
Last Updated:Nov 12, 2017 5:24 pm 6682 Views
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Profiles with no Introduction or the lack of substantial content
I am running across those who seem to believe that having no introduction would really entice me to even start a conversation with them. Y’all write about the fakes, flakes, bots, pros, etc. of the female species on here. Have any of y’all thought about how y’all are coming across to me, one of the real live ladies on here who took the time to write an introduction and re-wrote it and will even still have more re-writes as needed. It took a lot from me to put myself out here as such.
I took and take the time to write information about some of my experiences and thoughts. Have y’all even given thought to that these can be of help to you which is a valuable insight into who I am. Just others here write and post some insight into an experience or event, rants about this or that, just needing some kind of support for whatever they might be struggling with, sharing their thoughts about a topic of concern or entertainment, etc. Please take the time to read since I am sure most of y’all are not using your fingers on your thingermabobber in looking at this website. Then again, maybe the only thingermabobber that you can think of and with is the head that sure isn’t between your shoulders. It is the head between the shoulders with a mind that I am looking for. If you do not know how to have an intelligent conversation of any kind to begin with that does not start out with:
“Hello”
“Will you pee on me?”
“What are your fetishes and kinks?”
“I want to be your Dom.”
These will definitely be responded to in time. In that short amount of time that you are not willing to write more than one liners or ask questions about me outside of the kinks and fetishes since your thingermabobber seems to be the only thing that is driving your brain then, please do not be surprised when the snappy answers to stupid questions start appearing because you have just totally gotten me fed up with you and your lack of communications. When I say that I do not want to do IM, chat, Kik, call you, etc. and I let you know this, please do not think that I am one of those flakes, fakes, bots, pros, etc. that you are complaining about. It is my comfort level that you need to accept, respect and deal with. If you do not want to, then it is your prerogative to move on as well as mine. I try to respond in a pleasant and respectful tone to begin with. If that is not successful then I will utilize my prerogative and do the best thing for you and that is to block you. This way I do not have to put up with you being a yahoo that did not take the time to respect yourself by using something other than your thingermabobber to start and end the conversation with. It does help me to weed out those of you who are not worth the time nor the energy since I would rather have this being engaged in something a little more fruitful with a much higher rate of coming to fruition such as finding a Dom who knows what the heck I am writing about, will take the time to learn about my health, my mind, my life, my high and low points, my work, me as an individual and will know whether or not to even want to continue on a path of wanting to learn my body and how to utilize it for both of us. For him to take the time to earn my trust and respect and for me to earn his does take time along with lots of communications. If you can engage me in a decent level of conversation that goes outside your little square box of filling in the information then you just might have a chance with me or even someone else.
If you do not know what a sapiosexual or sapiophile, then use the electronic device that is in front of you and look up the cotton picken word. If you do not know a word in anyone’s writing, take the time to look it up. You just might have found out that you were politely given the bird. The other thing is that when I get off work and have already had a really fun and entertaining time in the office do you really think I want to continue with the same on here? If you do then y’all are a bunch of dildos!!! (Yes. I do know what that word means and I am applying it towards the ones who seem to be the most deserving of it. And if you have any intelligence and want to know how I learned the word, someday when you really get to know me, please ask. You may find it quite amusing.)
So to round out this little topic of adulthood puberty that includes the lack of communications or just thinking with your thingermabobber and you only want to fuck with my mind and me, please get to know who, how and what you are going to be fucking with. You just may not want to and then again you just may at your own risk. You can ask the 6’2”, 225 pound football player that had a takedown done on him in college when he did not respect me when I said to leave me alone. He was on his backside on the floor facing up with me (5’2” and 125 pounds at the time) standing over him telling him, “That when I say leave me alone I mean it”. Everyone else stood still including those on the dance floor and the music played on. I want the music to play on along with everyone else playing on too.
You say this is about respect and trust. Then, please display these behaviors at the very beginning.
Thank you, Miner
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Sub-touch: Is there such a thing as it?
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Posted:May 13, 2017 9:42 am
Last Updated:Nov 19, 2017 5:02 pm 6399 Views
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There is sub-space and sub-drop that are recognized as needs for aftercare. I also gather that there is also Dom-space and Dom-drop as well that requires aftercare too.
What do we call when you are missing a touch? A touch that is written, verbal, visual and/or physical that is communicated between Mistress/Domme/Sir/Master/Dom and sub/slave/pet/little that you feel like you are in a spiral because you are missing those types of communications of affirmation of being a good girl or boy, slut, , cunt or that special name that you have been given by your Mistress/Domme/Sir/Master/Dom. I am finding out that part of my own personal decades of derailment might stem from not having had these words of appreciation and affection relayed to me from others, especially by those who have tried to dominant me in the past and have failed.
I was brought up to be submissive whether my parents knew it or not in how and what they expected of me compared to my two brothers. I know that they would provide praise when I did well and disciplined when I did not obey and follow their instructions. I would do well when I was structured and know that I do well when I am structured. It is so hard to structure one’s self though. I struggle with this 24/7 too.
I know that at times that I must do the controlling due to my surroundings and willingly do so. Has it gotten me into trouble at times when I have had to take the bull by the horns? You bet it has. I have felt those repercussions from others who were unwilling to take on the tasks because they did not want to do it. It had to be done and I did them. So, yes, I do step on those toes and bend noses out of shape. My parents taught me well about toes and noses. If it accomplishes what it is intended to do, then I will accept my discipline for these transgressions. If it does not, I will still accept my discipline. At least I know that I did do that was asked of me and I did it willingly and freely and hope that it was completed to their specifications as well.
So, I have found that without the structure that is guidance that I so much have fought and resisted as a little girl under my parents care to now, I am so vulnerable and lost without it. I know that I do need to find a Dom. There is no doubt in my mind since I do need to have this kind of structure and control over me. I also know that he needs to be able to know how to handle me so that I do not want to resist him and only want to obey him, to give to him of myself willingly and freely to please and pleasure him.
I hope I have not offended any of the Mistresses/Dommes/Sirs/Masters/Doms or other Dominants in not following protocol. I am still learning, trying to grow and develop to be a good submissive for someone. Is it ever possible to have a mentor or a substitute when yours has had to step away and to help keep you from being derailed while you are journeying? I do not know and this is the first time I have asked.
Thank you for your patience and understanding as well. Miner
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Where do I belong?
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Posted:May 11, 2017 8:00 am
Last Updated:Nov 20, 2017 8:47 pm 5334 Views
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You maybe one age chronologically and your mind has not really changed since childhood. You really have to think about how old you are when asked. You do not look like you should be AARP material, yet you have been for the last five years. What do you do with yourself as you discover that you have been a submissive lady all your life and just had been taken advantage of in the vanilla world by those who wanted to control you and wanted you to take care of everything for them including their bills. You finally come out of this fog that has been over your head and kick the SOB out. As you are cleaning up the aftermath you stumble across a personal for a DOM/sub and wonder what this is. The more you read, the more you discover this has been you all along only you were not in with people who understand and would help you on your journey of discovering and releasing yourself from the bindings that have kept you bound all your life. Looking at some of the description to fit in you find yourself going with all that I have to do how is it possible to be a baby girl? I just never knew how nor really wanted to grow up. I guess in someways I am still in Never Never Land with Peter Pan and the others. My dad use to call me Tiger Lil when I was a baby girl. I do not want to replace him or do I? I miss the fishing and camping. I wished he had taught me so much more about working on vehicles. To be a cross between a girl in a dress and boy who trashed her dresses while playing in them with the boys. I still am a tomboy in a dress with the heart of a . Someday, someone might find me and lead me on the path I should have been traveling on so long ago.
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When I say no to you.
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Posted:May 8, 2017 7:47 pm
Last Updated:Nov 20, 2017 8:46 pm 4448 Views
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Over the decades I have had men say no to me. No to me because they did not want me for whatever their reasoning was. At times it was very hard to accept this two letter word especially in my younger days (teens into the 20's). What I did learn though was when I was told no, I respected their decision. It was theirs to make for themself and not mine. What was mine was to respect their decision and to move on with my life. I have done this. I have moved on with my life.
What I am discovering on here, is the lack of respect towards me when I have responded to someone's request whether it be a scene, as a submissive/slave/bottom to them using the word no. I understand that this at times is not what you want to hear someone say, especially if you have your mind, body and possibly your heart set on this.
I know about disappointments in this arena first hand. Mine came from someone (not here) who did not have the nerve to say that after having met me that they decided their plans had changed. What they had proposed was extremely enticing to my sexual appetite and never came to fruition. I had my heart, mind and body so wrapped up in this anticipation that it never occurred that it would not happen. It was such a let down. I even allowed it to affect my normal happy go lucky nature and even struck out with my temper with those who are closest to me. It was not fair to them and I could not tell them what actually caused my temper to flair like it did. This was and is a transgression that I must now live with. The one good thing about my memory loss though is that last week is almost all gone. I still have a little bit of it in me and eventually it will not be there unless something triggers that memory.
So last week I dealt with someone who claimed to be a Dom and was actually a coward since he could not truly let me know what his actual intentions were. Was it truly what had been proposed or was it completely made up just to have sex for that one time? I will never know since he has left the area for now. The other thing too, is that he is my age. This is an age group of men that I am slowly not wanting anything to do with due to his and others in this age category that show a lack of respect towards me and most importantly towards themselves.
Thank you for teaching me another lesson or two this time around. I am sure that there are more to come as I travel down this road. I will say that I am not bored nor has it been bland so far.
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