OK, some happier news :- )
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Posted:Sep 3, 2008 10:29 am
Last Updated:Sep 10, 2008 9:09 am 41363 Views
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I have some fun travels coming un on the next 6 months or so...maybe I'll be in your neck of the woods soon? If not, freakin' invite me  I'm (Leather)House broken and everything ;-p
SM Odyssey Folsom Fringe 2008
San Jose, CA
September 26th-28th 2008
(search folsomfringe)
APEX
Phoenix,Arizona
11/08 & 11/10
(search arizonapowerexchange)
KinkFest 2009
March (date TBA) 2009
Portland, Oregon
(search kinkfest)
Beyond Leather 2009
April 24th - 26th
Fort Lauderdale, FL
(search beyondleather)
The funny part was, once I started to pull together my BDSM resume, and I put it all together, people started saying "Wow, that's pretty impressive!"
Then I started to REALLY pt together my history, and I thought "Wait a sec...I HAVE been around the ^%$# block a few times!"
However, in all of my training, I have never learned to be much of a self-promoter. I lack that knack.
It feels awkward to me. I feel like I am name-dropping, showing off, puffing myself up. But I think I can look back on almost 12 years and be PROUD of how far I have come, how many people will vouch for my having the chops to stand up and yammer for an hour or two. Someone who'd seen my classes in Portland nudged me to a thread on FetLife where people were asked to suggest presenters, and a bunch of people specifically asked for me to be invited back! I was so thrilled, I got off of my duff and thought "Well, yeah, let's do this."
Now all I need to go is get my &^%$ website together. *lol*
Yeah....so, that is cool.
I am still feeling disjointed and really really unplugged from the whole "play" thing. I really really want to have a primary but i also do wish to play now and then. I have a few friends that I trust, but it is often tough to make schedules work in these busy times.
Of course, of late, just to complicate matters, I have seriously been contemplating taking on a HouseBoy. It would be lovely to have someone with a service bent to throw around occasionally 
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&^%$#
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Posted:Sep 2, 2008 9:31 pm
Last Updated:May 22, 2024 8:58 pm 40052 Views
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I just broke my own fucking rue and wrote up a bunch of shit IN the blog and, of course, the site &^%$ crashed.
What is going on, people?!?!?
Yargh.
OK.
Calming down.
I'll go look at my mail on FetLife for a while...
come back once I have calmed the fuck down....
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TOO FUCKING FAT TO FALL.
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Posted:Aug 28, 2008 12:43 am
Last Updated:Sep 11, 2008 5:15 pm 44165 Views
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I am excited at the prospect of possibly skydiving. Have been for years.
A friend is looking for an adventure to celebrate a milestone and we were maybe gonna do it.
I am glad I chose to do careful research.
I would hate to have turned up and been gently ushered onto a scale....
Most places won't take someone my weight.
2 places will.
One says you have to "Discuss with them at the LZ" and verify that you are "In good health, etc" to see what the surcharge will be.
The other place charges $1 / lb over their weight limit.
I am very sad.
I am not so much feeling sorry for myself...after all, I COULD always "just lose weight", right?
But something about this is horrifying me.
And it makes me cry, and it ISN'T just the PMS
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FUCK. YOU. FUCK YOU TECHNOLOGY
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Posted:Aug 26, 2008 10:57 am
Last Updated:Aug 28, 2008 12:52 am 41346 Views
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random
RANDOM
I click onto my Yahoo! messenger and a box pops up that says "Voice Messages & Call History" it is some kind of voicemail for my Yahoo! account and I think WTF and so, OK, there are 2 messages, one from the system and one from John and I think "Why on earth would he even call and why the hell would he call my Yahoo! voicemail?!?!" but I listen to it I realize it is an old message then I see the date and it is February 8th 2008 and gods that was a long time ago, I try to remember back that far and I cant but then the whole thing just makes me cry. I don't need to hear his voice or miss him or have a fucking pity party right now.
I fucking hate you right now, Yahoo! Voice Messaging system.
And I also hate you, hormonal fucking BULLSHIT.
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New Hair.
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Posted:Aug 24, 2008 8:15 pm
Last Updated:Aug 26, 2008 10:41 pm 44349 Views
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The process was EXCRUCIATING.
Neither I nor the braider had any idea how long this would take, and you'll never guess.
But, I have shiny new blond dreadlock extensions.
This is as much of a smile as I can muster.
My head is teh pain.
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I've been...
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Posted:Aug 21, 2008 11:02 pm
Last Updated:Aug 24, 2008 8:40 pm 43560 Views
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....really busy.
Often sad.
Edging on depressed.
Consumed by work.
Overwhelmed.
Cultivating positive esteem.
Missing writing here but intimidated about it.
Scared
Lonely.
Falling in love.*
Having spiritual fundamental shifts.
Feeling so many things.
Trying to make space for myself.
Believing myself when the Inside Voice says "We need help!"
Helping myself.
Opening up my compassionate self.
Laughing.
Getting in touch with old friends.
Freaked out.
In awe of my life.
Wondering who / how to "Be."
*with gay man porn. OMG, gay boy porn = TWICE as many hot men!
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boxes & cubbyholes & labels / chokeholds & pitfalls & ruts.
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Posted:Aug 7, 2008 10:17 am
Last Updated:Oct 6, 2009 12:23 am 43612 Views
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How on earth do you explore who you may want to be when you have, for so long, voluntarily accepted the yoke of a particular label?
I've not let myself be deterred from the possibility of connecting with someone in whom I was interested because of their current "identification".
If I meet someone and there is chemistry, I think "Perhaps this can work." It has worked pretty well, in some cases, not so much in others. But I really, really do take people on an individual basis, and I tend to let the fact that, "on paper", there might be some differences kill a potential "good thing".
I would not, for example, categorically dismiss someone as a potential partner because they identify as a "switch" or a "top" rather than a dominant, because who the hell knows? Occasionally, a submissive person might be of interest, and then my mind says "What if...?" not "Fuck that."
I cannot believe I'm alone in this.
My kink tends to evolve along the lines of "Who am I with this person, what to they evoke in my mind and body, and perhaps even heart, that inspires me to explore with them?"
Rambling a bit here...trying to see if, perhaps, a more concerted effort needs to me made to be open about my fluidity and my more mercurial attitudes towards my emotional and sexual life.
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a silly meme on "have you ever....
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Posted:Jul 31, 2008 4:46 pm
Last Updated:Aug 3, 2008 11:50 pm 44323 Views
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The funny thing is some of these are less well known stories. Really, my life is interesting...even to me.
I can remember, if prompted, stuff that can surprise me...
Have you ever....
1. Yes or no answers only.
2. I will not detail unless someone specifically asks me to.
Taken a picture naked? Yes
Made money illegally? Yes
Had a one night stand? Yes
Been in a fist fight? No
Slept with your best friend? Yes
Had sex in a public place? Yes
Ditched work to have sex? Yes
Slept with a member of the same sex? Yes
Seen someone die? No
Run from the police? Yes
Woke up somewhere and not remember how you got there? Yes
Worn your partners unmentionables? Yes
Fallen asleep at work? Yes
Used toys in the bedroom? Yes
Run a red light? Yes
Been fired? Yes
Been in a car accident? Yes
Pole danced or done a striptease? Yes
Loved someone you shouldn't? Yes
Sung karaoke? Yes
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? Yes
Laughed so hard you peed your pants? Yes
Caught someone having sex? Yes
Kissed a perfect stranger? Yes
Shaved your partner? Yes
Given your private parts a nickname? Yes
Gone in public without underwear? Yes
Had sex on a roof top? Yes
Played chicken? No
Mooned/flashed someone? Yes
Slept naked? Yes
Blacked out from drinking? Yes
Felt like killing someone? Yes
Had sex more than 5 times in one day? Yes
Been with someone because they were in a band? Yes
Taken 10 shots of liquor in a day? Yes
Shot a gun? Yes
Gone outside naked? Yes
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