Snorkeler or Scuba Diver
|
Posted:Mar 29, 2024 6:56 am
Last Updated:Mar 29, 2024 7:08 am 890 Views
|
I've learned self-discovery is a constant journey. A journey I was terrified of. I would lie to myself and anyone that tried to get close. It was a lonely place to be. Especially when I didn’t realize just how lonely I was. Trapped in a steel ball that had been welded shut, all the while completely unaware of its existence.
Then the work began. There was no other choice.
It dawned on me a while back that we are either snorkelers or scuba divers. Snorkelers skim the surface. They are content with what they see and won’t go any deeper perhaps due to fear or ignorance (no-judgment-zone here by the way). Snorkeling is relatively easy. You swim around, you look and there is beauty to see. That you can see. Comfortable? Oblivious? Easy? (Hey, I have an idea. Let’s go to the Bahamas, sit on the beach and snorkel just past the swimming area.)
Scuba divers want to go deeper. They are also afraid. They’ve snorkeled when it’s cloudy or even in Category IV hurricanes. And done so not by design but by circumstances. But suddenly snorkeling isn’t enough. They see snippets of the beauty below. Usually after the storm has passed but by then it’s even more vivid. But now they only to feel what they can only see. They need to feel. And they need help. Equipment, guidance, faith; time to take some risks. They are gifted with a desire to go deeper. And they do. Starting in a swimming pool they get comfortable with their equipment, their guides. They begin to trust. They move to the water while remaining close to the shore then go out a bit further each time. They begin to go deeper. They get closer to what they saw but had yet to “feel.” Then they touch. Things are beautiful but can also be sharp or even cut us if we aren’t careful. But we have our guides. We have our faith. We are trusting now. We are gaining experience. We go deeper. Dangerous living creatures can show up. Memories can show up. We stay with our guides. We are learning to scuba dive. And we know we can never experience all there is to see but we can’t stop looking.
Most of us begin as snorkelers. Some stay that way. Some begin to scuba dive, become terrified and return to snorkeling. Some try again in time; in their time. But once I was a scuba diver, I realized I can’t go snorkeling. If I do, I will always be uncomfortably aware of what I could be missing.
There is immense freedom in discovering who we are.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Let Her Flourish and She's Yours Forever
|
Posted:Feb 21, 2024 1:21 pm
Last Updated:Apr 8, 2024 11:52 am 4551 Views
|
In communicating with a s-types over the years, I’ve noticed a common theme that’s a bit disheartening. They talk of feeling held back, unable to serve better by being more selflessly guided. There is a huge difference (and a fine line between) being dominant and domineering. Being a Dom is no cakewalk. We’re dealing with some of the most loving and fragile human beings that exist. Put your seatbelt on, fellow Doms. This is a lot more challenging than I sometimes like to admit or take responsibility for.
Am I looking after her or holding her back? My fear and insecurities can jump in. My selfishness can rear its ugly head. I can hide bad motives behind good ones even with the best intentions. Control in the name of dominance that is really based in fear my own selfish desires is one of the most egocentric things I can do. I must continually consider this; look in the mirror. Am I really serving her best interests or my own selfish needs?
Her freedom must be given through structure, discipline, love, trust, safety and security. She needs that unequivocally. Too much control will only serve to inhibit her true submissive self. Part of that is putting her priorities ahead of my own. The physical/sexual side is one thing. But the emotional side is where she will find her greatest gift of being able to serve. For her to submit, she has to be free. It’s a bit of a paradox but then again, many things in life are.
She must have her own voice. It’s not only her right but her responsibility. And she must know she’ll be heard without judgment or retribution. She needs to know her feelings and spirit will be held in trust by the one she has chosen to offer herself. I must also show her it’s safe by exposing my own vulnerability. I must tell her how I’m feeling; also my right and responsibility. Her bearing witness to this will allow her to begin to drop what are often long-standing emotional walls. It's a deep gift of love she will naturally recognize and therefore be even more devoted and want to serve that much more deeply. Again, a paradox.
And of course once she’s mine emotionally, she’ll physically give herself to me that much more. So ..... a bad motive behind a good one? Hope not but I must never stop considering this.
Give her this gift, let her flourish, give her wings to fly and she will be yours forever.
“Sir, please give me my voice so I can better serve you.”
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
What D/s is not----IMHO
|
Posted:Feb 21, 2024 1:13 pm
Last Updated:Feb 23, 2024 6:33 am 4306 Views
|
D/s at its core is about relationships. It is not about sex any more than homosexuality, or Ward and June Cleaver’s traditional marriage was about sex (actually, it’s highly likely the Cleavers only had sex twice). Dominance and submission are not action words, they are personal character traits that can’t be shut off (they can but there are consequences to not living our lives authentically).
Many profiles of “dominant men” are about nothing more than kinky fuckery with little understanding or regard of the responsibilities involved in a D/s dynamic. Many submissive women who want to be ravaged or “tied up” have no idea the strength involved in emotionally surrendering to a Dominant man. Do either understand the emotional serenity a submissive feels within the confines of structure, love, guidance and His care? Do they comprehend the emotional fulfillment He feels by leading, watching over, guiding, seeing her blossom into her true self? Notice neither of those descriptors included any reference to sex. Kinky sex is great if that’s your thing but let’s call is what it is.
I have a strong need to promote, distinguish and preserve the integrity of the romantic and truly loving D/s relationship. Hell, all relationships, be it Ward and June, gay, D/s or whatever your proclivities may entail. My understanding has evolved over decades, and it didn’t come easily. But I believe it’s important to share in the hope that at least one person is enlightened a bit helping them experience their own authentic evolution. Peace.
|
|
|
4
Comments
|
|
The Committee
|
Posted:Feb 21, 2024 12:51 pm
Last Updated:Feb 25, 2024 4:55 pm 4320 Views
|
The committee in my head meets regularly. Sometimes during the day but most often during the night when I wake up and there is darkness and only the quiet hum of the ceiling fan. The committee often meets when I am feeling, oh shall we say, “less than.” When I think I have really fucked something up. Of course, it can also meet when I’m feeling like a bad ass and tells me with certainty that I can conquer the world. Sometimes the committee meets out of shear boredom. Those are often the times when I like hearing the minutes of their meetings. It can be very entertaining.
The committee thrives on my thoughts and influences my feelings. But I have to remember they are frequently discussing topics that are based in pure unreality. Most of the negative things my committee tells me aren’t real. I am good soul that is growing every day. Catharsis.
The committee usually adjourns when I share with others. When I meditate. When I write. When I am honest and open. I appreciate the committee. They help me be a better me.
Meeting adjourned.
This lil pup usually kicks the committee to the curb.......
|
|
|
3
Comments
|
|
She Needed the Strap
|
Posted:Feb 21, 2024 11:17 am
Last Updated:Feb 23, 2024 6:35 am 4426 Views
|
She asked for the strap. Her mind wouldn’t stop racing. Her shoulders were tight. The committee in her head was working overtime.
She asked Him to lead her as the intensity and rhythm of the leather began to build. She needed to be slowly but deliberately broken down. She needed to wring the toxic tears from her soul. She needed to be reduced to a sniveling mess of bloodshot eyes with a makeup and snot stained face.
She needed to be scooped up and held tightly, to feel His skin and breath against her vulnerability. She trusted him to understand that in this particular moment, she just couldn’t do it anymore. The world was too overwhelming.
She needed to be built back up and reminded that she had the strength and soul of a giant. She needed to take that deep breath realizing He’d brought her back to feeling empowered again. She needed to bask in the trust and safety of it all.
And He needed her to need this from Him.
|
|
|
4
Comments
|
|
Aftercare
|
Posted:Feb 17, 2024 2:04 pm
Last Updated:Mar 6, 2024 11:17 am 6020 Views
|
I absolutely adore aftercare.
I can be one sadistic motherfucker. If my sub/maso is a trusting, caring and desirous person that I know intimately and the connection has blossomed, something in me comes screaming to the surface. Pain creates an electricity that is embodied though emotion, sounds, expression and movement.
Primal, aggressive gut-wrenching session
Leather, wood, metal, canes
Clamps, tweezers, oversized plugs
Ass fucking with tears that destroy her makeup
A fistful of cunt, lips and clit gripped so tightly that my hands cramp
Forced orgasms that make her dizzy from the repetition
Bite marks that will remain for days – bruises for weeks
When all the barriers are down and the world is shut out, an ocean of sadistic and masochistic pleasure combine with a connection that can only be felt, never described.
Exhaustion.
And then … *drumroll*
AFTERCARE!!! The second of two polar opposite experiences bound as one through the bonds of trust, care and desire.
She cries for a time; I hold her tight
She smiles and floats
I feed her chocolate and be sure she drinks plenty of water
I make sure she’s warm
I stroke her hair and fresh wounds just enough to evoke a wince before kissing her forehead gently
I let her know how proud I am
Kisses with my hand loosely around her throat
Hours pass…
I stroke her worn pussy and with a loving smile, reminding her who gave her those glorious aches and pains
I take pictures of her body and evolving marks
We talk about the session, the pain, the pleasure, the feelings
I lick her tender swollen nipples
Side by side we hold hands listening to the sound of the fan blowing
More talk
We penetrate each other’s minds
She lays still on top of me as my cock rests quietly deep inside her
Chinese food
I fuck her
I watch her fall asleep soundly; I sleep lightly checking on her throughout the night
Breakfast in bed with the TV muted
Serenity
Until next time, my dear……..
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
The Love of Discipline
|
Posted:Feb 17, 2024 1:58 pm
Last Updated:Feb 24, 2024 11:42 am 5348 Views
|
You are safe. We know this is what you need. You will be cared for and protected. I know you better than you know yourself. It will be severe at times but I will carry you through as always. Begin to let go.
……..
You are doing great. Feel the pain. Bask in it. Feel my face against yours. I’m right here.
…….
I know it can be difficult. Allow it to flow through you. Go to that place. Emotions, sensations, feelings …. they are all glorious. You know I have you.
……..
Focus on the stings. Focus on the pain in your breasts and crotch.
……...
We have much further to go. Stay with it. Feel my hand in yours. Feel me touch your hair. Feel my love flow.
……..
I know the restraints are tight. Feel them cut into your legs, wrists and belly. You must be bound this way. Bask in the confinement.
……..
Yes, there is so much suffering. But as our eyes meet we both know this is our perfect time. It’s who we are and brings our love ever that much closer. The world doesn’t exist. Just us. Stay with me.
……..
Let your tears flow. We are close. Feel my breath meeting yours. I’m right here. I’ll never leave you alone.
……..
That’s my girl. I’m so proud of you. Feel my hands loosen the restraints. Relax and let me begin to move your arms and legs. I have you. Feel the marks and bruises left behind. Feel the pain in your cunt. They are my loving gift to you. And your gift to me is accepting and wearing them so proudly. Breathe deeply now and feel my arms around you. I’ll hold you til morning. You’re safe. We both are. Sleep little one. Dream. I’ve got you. Feel the Love of Discipline.
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
